Guillen to Royals

NASHVILLE -- The 2007 Winter Meetings are anything but a cold stove. In a surprising trade the Kansas City Royals have acquired Chicago White Sox's manager Ozzie Guillen.  The veteran Guillen will go over to the Royals in exchange for the Royals' manager prospect Trey Hillman.

Guillen, who will be 44 in his next season as manager, not only brings more youth to the position than Hillman who will be 45, but also brings more Major League experience.  In his four years of managing, Guillen has amassed a 344-304 record with only one losing season.  He was the 2005 AL Manager of the Year, the same year in which he led the White Sox to their first World Championship in 88 years.  His youthfulness also provides his fiery personality that is proven to excite players.

Although Guillen's career results are clearly ahead of Hillman's DIVIDE BY ZERO ERROR win percentage, many skeptics claim that Hillman was never given a chance to shine in the Major Leagues after his years of work in the Minors and Japan League.  Responding to these apprehensions, Royals GM Dayton Moore said, "Ozzie is a proven manager.  We have tried getting results with our players for the past few years. When players can't produce, the obvious route is to get a better manager. Ozzie will bring his own brand of smartball to our team. And, really, who can argue with intelligence?"

Royals owner David Glass was unavailable for comment.  Sources report that he is in a high-stakes casino in Russia, continuously placing $10,000 on the number 85 at the roulette table until he wins once.

Former Royals manager Buddy Bell will remain with the White Sox to teach them how to bunt.