Rafael Betancourt Destroyed Our National Innocence

by royalsreview on Oct 17, 2007 3:00 PM EDT in News Comment 39 comments

In honor of Betancourt's unsurprising post-season brillance, a repost... Our National Innocence is shaken.-RR

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Rafael Betancourt is the Cleveland Indians' best relief pitcher. Rafael Betancourt is a steroid user, piercing the maidenhead of our national innocence.

How many children have to die before Major League Baseball does something? How many innocent, angelic, high school baseball players have to be encouraged into taking substances demonstrably more dangerous than alcohol and tobacco before this moral abomination is stopped? How many bucolic, heavenly evenings at the quaint olde ball parke have to be destroyed by the mere presence of this despicable master of lies? We simmer here in the flames of sin while Congress sits idly by and does nothing. NOTHING.

A nation devastated by Betancourt's two-faced deception. Do we need to check his head-size records?

Indians reliever Rafael Betancourt destroyed our national innocence, and because his steroid-fuelled performance has powered the Indians to an AL Central title, Royals Review proposes the following:

A Modest Proposal to Defend Our National Innocence
During the American League Playoffs, fans should turn their backs to the field when Betancourt takes the mound.
Fans should bring placards with asterisks to the game and gleefully wave them in front of the camera. Placards saying "cheater" are also appropriate.
Through media pressure, we should demand that the Indians season record be marked with an asterisk and that Betancourt be photoshopped out of the team photo.
By internet vote, the fans shall decide whether all memorabilia from the 2007 AL Central Champions should be branded with an asterisk, or launched into space. Since the passing of Ives St. Laurant this summer, Royals Review is currently negotiating with Lady Enyce and Bill Blass on the handling and promotion of this matter.
Any sealed testimony regarding Betancourt's moral depravity should be considered part of the public record, in the national interest.

Only by grandly and theatrically attacking others, can we honor the glory of ourselves!

Deception by the Lake:

According to the data at fangraphs.com, Betancourt has been clearly the most valuable member of the Tribe bullpen, leading the team in WPA and BRAA by wide margins.
According to Baseball Prospectus's WXRL stat, which factors in leverage and performance, Betancourt has been the second best relief pitcher in baseball, adding about six expected wins to the Tribe's total. Do you know where the Tribe would be with six fewer wins? OK, they'd still be in first, but only by a game.

Betancourt's deception and Cleveland's blind willingness to follow his demonic aura have already ruined the otherwise pristine glory of professional sports in this country.

Thankfully, our beacons of liberty and accountability, the national press, have refused to let the issue of Betancourt's perfidy slip into oblivion.

While the despicable Mr. Betancourt continues to assert his innocence, as proud Americans we know better. Allegations and rumors mean guilt, and Betancourt needs to understand that before he sullies our sacrosanct sense of self any further.

By the way, you know what those oh-so-subtle steroids ads suggest PDAs do to your male anatomy? Well, check out whats happened to the fair city of Cleveland in recent years:

The Cleveland Plain-Dealer: "Our Shrinking City"

A fitting result of Betancourt's Curse.

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Amen brother...

Amen.

by djk royal on Sep 28, 2007 3:11 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

lets fire up the witch hunt mobile

by LeoBloom on Sep 28, 2007 3:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Also...

rumor has it that Betancourt hates apple pie, his mother, chevy trucks and santa clause.

As you stated above "Allegations and rumors mean guilt, and Betancourt needs to understand that before he sullies our sacrosanct sense of self any further."

by djk royal on Sep 28, 2007 4:38 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

this is totally unrelated

but how the hell is a guy from Venezula named "Betancourt"?

that just doesn't make sense to me

by LeoBloom on Sep 28, 2007 5:00 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

How About

Yuniesky?

Being a fan is irrational, but what is the alternative?

by philofthenorth on Sep 28, 2007 11:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

is it a common name there?

by royalsreview on Sep 29, 2007 1:36 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

this just makes this weekend's games

that much more important

Anyone but Terry

by FireBell on Sep 28, 2007 5:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Tonight's Line-Up. LOOK WHO IS STARTING!

DeJesus, CF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .263
Grudzielanek, 2B 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .298
Butler, 1B 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .289
Sweeney, DH 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .260
Brown, RF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .257
German, 3B 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .268
Huber, LF 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .000
Buck, C 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .226
Pena, SS 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .263

OK, I know this is not the game thread, but I was excited and felt the need to share the news.

Yup, Huber is in the line-up tonight. If only Brazell were starting at DH in place of Sweeney I would be down-right excited.

Rock Chalk Talk for pretty good KU College Baseball Coverage

by James Quinn on Sep 28, 2007 7:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Thank God for RR

Your eloquently expressed moral compass gives me hope. Perhaps we can still save the children.

by 390 on Sep 28, 2007 7:55 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

The Children Never

Can be safe enough.

Being a fan is irrational, but what is the alternative?

by philofthenorth on Sep 28, 2007 11:24 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

The worst part of this entire affair

How many little leaguers have found themselves daydreaming of this scenario:

Game Seven. Two outs, bases loaded, bottom of the ninth, home team down by a 3 runs. The home team's cleanup hitter is at the plate. Everyone is on the edge of their seats.

Well, guess what, Little Johnny. Your idyllic fantasy is no more.

Thanks to Rafael Betancourt, you can no longer dream that you were the visiting team's relief pitcher that struck out the side in the 8th inning, thus becoming a bridge from the starter to the closer, and setting up the fascinating scenario above.

Is there suitable childhood fantasy that can replace the one above, now that Rafael has besmirched this once hallowed institution? Will children still wake up early to eagerly check the sports page to see who is leading the league in holds?

Will "Setup Man" join the pantheon of dream careers like astronauts or train conductors, jobs that once held a tight grip on the imagination of boys everywhere, but have since fallen out of fashion and out of the collective consciousness of legion of our nation's youngsters?

How dare you, Rafael Betancourt. How dare you, sir.

by marbotty on Sep 29, 2007 2:37 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

looks like the fallout has already begun

http://www.baseball-reference.com/leaders/

Notice something missing on the pitching leaderboard? Baseball reference has removed all mention of the Hold statistic from the website. I presume it's because it only served as a painful reminder of how Betancourt effectively shat on the national pasttime.

It's up to you now, wikipedia, to eradicate the term altogether: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hold_(baseball)

by marbotty on Sep 29, 2007 2:50 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

the only thing betancourt held

was the hand of the devil

by royalsreview on Sep 29, 2007 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Agreed

His soul will burn eternally. Would that such a fate could return to us our innocence.

by 390 on Sep 29, 2007 7:32 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sometime... you people scare me....

BUT... ding dong the wicked yankees are dead... dead, dead, dead...take that Georgy. I hope you fire Torri and then all your players decide that not playing for you is worth more than all your gold in china.

And, to make this night even more special.... Buffalo beat the Cowboys. Life is good....

by grudz69 on Oct 9, 2007 12:15 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

grudz...

cowboys won man

by royalsreview on Oct 9, 2007 12:19 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Crap... I didn't turn back after the BB game.

8 point lead with 3:15 to go and they lost????? Shit....

by grudz69 on Oct 9, 2007 12:42 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

you missed a helluva ending man

by royalsreview on Oct 9, 2007 12:42 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah seriously

Yankees lose, change to ESPN. Field goal with time running out.

by mazoboom on Oct 9, 2007 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

tw oFGs

by LeoBloom on Oct 9, 2007 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Seriously,

it must be tough to be a Bills fan right now.

"True friends stab you in the front."-Oscar Wilde.

by NHZ on Oct 17, 2007 3:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

My Personal Innocence

Regained its footing, if not completely recovered, when the 27th out was recorded tonight. Red on Red; better red than dead.

Being a fan is irrational, but what is the alternative?

by philofthenorth on Oct 9, 2007 12:44 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

two scoreless innings from betancourt

stunning that the yankees held the yankees to 6, yet still couldn't comeback

by LeoBloom on Oct 9, 2007 12:50 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

the sabermetic part of me

wishes Borowski would have blown that save

dude sucks

scarlet C or not

by LeoBloom on Oct 9, 2007 12:51 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Pun time!

Imagine a Colorado-Cleveland Series. We can then truly sing: "Cleveland Rox"

by mazoboom on Oct 9, 2007 1:56 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

My innocence was already lost

When I found out my hero Neifi Perez was a roid user. You know how hard it is to pull down all those Neifi Perez posters off my wall? A sad, sad day.

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Oct 9, 2007 11:07 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

In time you will heal.

In time....

by 390 on Oct 9, 2007 1:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Anyone have any clue

why Betancourt was in for two innings yesterday?

"True friends stab you in the front."-Oscar Wilde.

by NHZ on Oct 17, 2007 3:04 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

One of the stranger things on this board:

The fetish for Betancourt and his effect on our national innocence.

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on Oct 17, 2007 3:18 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Bah, fetish?

The lad had a fetish for steroids!

"True friends stab you in the front."-Oscar Wilde.

by NHZ on Oct 17, 2007 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

there is a reason for this...

but i won't get into it here

all hail betancourt!

by royalsreview on Oct 17, 2007 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

the reason was i wanted to make this link more

timely

http://www.esquire.com/the-side/blog/baseballblog101707

its just to the front page of the site, so...

yea

by royalsreview on Oct 17, 2007 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Click On Youkilis' Blog

If you can spare the brain cells it will kill. He uses a whole gaggle of words to express 2 inane "thoughts".

Being a fan is irrational, but what is the alternative?

by philofthenorth on Oct 17, 2007 7:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Youk comes off as quite the moron

"True friends stab you in the front."-Oscar Wilde.

by NHZ on Oct 17, 2007 9:41 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

This may be obvious, but I'll ask anyway

Will, is the "Betancourt destroyed our national innocence" refrain a satirical jab at the outcry by many (most) against those players, and particularly Bonds, who used performancing enhancing substances? Is it you way of saying that really isn't/wasn't that big of a deal and that the reaction to it has been disproportionate?

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on Oct 17, 2007 6:54 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I would interpret it

as a satirical jab at the very selective outrage directed at a small number of players. Not necessarily a rejection of your opinions of Bonds.

And damn funny too...

by 390 on Oct 18, 2007 1:17 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

One could argue

...that Bonds, Mac and Sosa -- and their steroid, etc. use -- has had a different degree of impact on that game than Betancourt who has been throughout his career no better than a pretty good middle reliever.

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on Oct 18, 2007 9:10 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

thats basically it

i actually like betancourt as a player, and believe there is a good chance he's been pretty screwed by MLB in the whole thing

by royalsreview on Oct 18, 2007 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Notwithstanding

the assumption that circumstantial evidence is equivalent to guilt...

It's a valid argument. One could also argue, however, that the use of steroids was so pervasive that the arbitrary singling out of a handful of players serves more to pacify the media, and assuage the guilt of those who knew something was wrong, but did nothing (our national innocence). It doesn't restore the integrity of the game - the 'integrity' of the game is a mirage.

I also believe Shoeless Joe Jackson should be in the hall of fame, but what do I know...

by 390 on Oct 18, 2007 12:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs