Stop Telling Me That Sabathia's Contract is the Largest Ever for a Pitcher

To take one of an endless number of availible examples:

Sources told Olney that, to get the deal completed, the Yankees added a seventh year to their original six-year, $140 million offer, bringing the total package to seven years and $161 million -- at $23 million a season, by far the biggest contract for any pitcher in history.

Really? You mean that Sabathia is going to get paid more in raw dollars than someone in the 1970s? The 1980s? The 1990s? Wow, that is so helpful to know. Relevant and noteworthy too. Don't tell me its the largest free agent contract of this decade or even the last three or four years. No, that wouldn't be the obvious point, not at all. Honestly, I'm most upset that someone hasn't investigated Sabathia's contract relative to Andrew Carnegie, Louis XIV or the Hapsburgs. I mean, its $160 million dollars! Can we possible overstate this enough?

No.

Guess what? I just drove to 7-11 and bought a Big Gulp and a hot dog. You would not believe the prices! The hot dog was over $2 dollars! When I was a kid you could buy a hot dog from 7-11 for .89 cents!

One thing is clear:

HOT DOG PRICES ARE THE HIGHEST IN HUMAN HISTORY!!

Not only that, but hot dog prices are currently higher than any processed mostly-beef snack foods on a bun have ever been. EVER! In 1817 you could buy a salted horse-tongue sandwich for three cents and a ball of hair. Today, we're over $2 dollars!!

Woman_screaming1_medium

Can ANYONE save us from this mysterious trend in which prices seem to "inflate" I guess you could call it?


 

And don't even mention the insane prices we're paying for drinks, chips, shoes, combs, pencils, pez dispensers, books, socks, posters of Michael Phelps, siding, ice skates, maps, fudge, shaved ice and toothpicks.

Plainly, our national innocence is in peril.

What evil mastermind is behind this!?!?

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Royals Review

You must be a member of Royals Review to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Royals Review. You should read them.

Join Royals Review

You must be a member of Royals Review to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Royals Review. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker