According to the official team site, Gil Meche, everybody's All-American, is scheduled to start today against the Giants. I predict Meche will throw two perfect innings, striking out all six batters, on just twenty pitches (the Giants will manage two foul balls with two strikes). He's really embraced the role of being the team Ace, and the results demonstrate that.

Is he smiling? Glaring? Smirking? The Mona Mechea.

Inspired by Meche, Hideo Nomo and Jimmy Gobble will turn in bellweather performances as well.