25ish percent progress report

by powderbluepower on May 15, 2008 3:38 AM EDT

I'm going to be gone this weekend looking for wedding locations in Norman. As a result, I won't be able to post the 25 percent progress report when it is appropriate (after Thursday's game). Since we're at a significant milestone, it's time for something different (also, repeating the line "pitching good, batting not so good" is getting tiring). Therefore, it's time for everyone's favorite 5-7-5 poems, HAIKU! I only used active players, so sorry Hideo Nomo, Luke Hudson and John Bale. No haiku for you. Maybe I'll spend a night coming up with some other form of poetry next milestone. I guarantee I/won't write a freaking sonnet /when the future hits.

We'll have a haiku about each of the 25-man roster's progress this year, starting with the pitching staff.

Pitchers:

His brain is like a gun
since his arm's not a cannon
Brian Bannister

Have you seen this man?
Introduce to Trey Hillman
"Turkey" Jim Gobble

The rotation's ace
A.L.-second ERA
Good job Zack Greinke

Got to like this kid
Solid after his first start
"Cool" Luke Ho-chev-ar

He's undefeated!
ERA's at 2-point-five!
Who now? Ron Mahay

The chin triangle
mixed results but not as great
Just so-so Gil Meche

The bullpen's surprise
has been this young set-up man
Lion-O Nunez

If he's in, we lose
Last ten games: nine team losses
Joel Peralta

Didn't we do him
About two haikus ago?
Ramon Ramirez

Zero ERA
Mexican Tough Save Machine
Joakim Soria

ERA sub-Meche
Not that good; not really bad
He is Brett Tomko

The worst ERA
on the team but nice nickname
Y. "Shake" Yabuta

Batters:

Did he have power?
I honestly don't recall
John Buck, are you real?

I AM THE POWER!
Not He-Man, but great slugging
Miguel Olivo

Hits more than Pena
But no hits in last six games
Mr. Callaspo

Trey is not a fan
Except as a pinch runner
Esteban German

His grit makes up for
Mediocre statistics
Or should it? Ross Gload

The future George Brett?
He can bat, but more pine tar
for Alex Gordon

I'm so glad I can spell
Hitting well last six games
Grudzielanek

The powers that be
don't make batting easy for
Pena the Lesser

He went to Rutgers
did not know that. Strong at plate
David DeJesus

Joey not Joseph
He's fast and that's about it
Speedy GonGathright

The Mendoza Line
is in the rear-view mirror
Go Jose Guillen

Is he good or not?
Low RBIs, high walk rate
Say what? Mark Teahen

Less runs than Pena
But he has a big boy bat
Big Billy Butler

Standings: 2.5 from top
one back from ChiSox, one
up on the Tigers

Eighteen/twenty-one
Is not a bad record at all
so LET'S GO ROYALS!

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Comments

I spring a question to everyone...

Do the royals ever get back to .500 this year

Yasuhiko Yabuta is to Major League Baseball as Drew Carey is to The Price is Right

by focs on May 15, 2008 1:26 PM EDT 0 recs

I say yes

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on May 15, 2008 1:44 PM EDT up 0 recs

I'm gonna say no

but they will be close all season.

hopefully i’m wrong tho

by ZeppelinDZ on May 15, 2008 2:10 PM EDT up 0 recs

still sticking with no

by royalsreview on May 15, 2008 3:51 PM EDT up 0 recs

I agree with no - but closer.

A win total in the mid to upper 70’s. Still think Royals will be sellers at the deadline but it might be the last year for this strategy. Major league bats are hard to come by without developing them yourself, FA signing or trade. Maybe KC can add another bat for 2009 at the deadline by trading some of the bullpen depth like Mahay, Peralta or Gobble.

by daveyork on May 15, 2008 6:53 PM EDT up 0 recs

Seeing as how they are 1 game below .500 right now . . .

I’m going to say maybe. I think the recent win streak has increased the probability of that tremendously, though.

by Eppenweb on May 17, 2008 2:05 PM EDT up 0 recs

great haikus

I don’t know why but I read them immediately as a song in the sort of style as the theme song to Bonanza. If I feel like embarrassing myself, perhaps I’ll put them to some countrified-guitar and post the result here.

This space intentionally left blank.

by marbotty on May 15, 2008 2:19 PM EDT 0 recs