BREAKING NEWS: Tony Pena Jr. steals your significant other!

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 3:32 PM EDT in News Comment 35 comments

KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI. Confirming rumors that had been in the works since Sunday after the third Royals-Blue Jays game, sources close to the Kansas City Royals have confirmed that Tony Pena Jr. has stolen your significant other. At least for the time being.

"I can't believe it," [you] were quoted as saying after hearing the news. "It's one thing for that prick to ruin my life by not hitting his own weight, but this is just ridiculous. He looks like the love child of Legolas [from lord of the rings] and LL Cool J."

Pena and [your significant other] were reported to have been dating behind [your] back ever since Pena stopped hitting well in May of 2007. Pena, when asked to comment, reminded your humble reporter that "ho, ho, I am richer than [you], after all."

[Your significant other] could not be reached for comment, but Pena hinted at an engagement that could be consummated with a summer wedding. Pena also said it would be great to get married at home plate before one of the Royals home games.

When asked about your prediction of the happiness of the potential newlyweds, [you] only growled and said: "they'll never make it to first base."

3 recs | Comment 35 comments

Story-email Email Printer Print

Comments

You also were heard saying "Doesn't she know he has a limp bat?"

by Eppenweb on May 27, 2008 3:40 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

On the positive side,

at least you know she will be safe from spousal abuse – that guy can’t hit anybody

by loyal2sdad on May 27, 2008 3:42 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

That's it, now I've had enough of this guy

This will not stand. Trade him to a team in the Chinese Taipei league.

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on May 27, 2008 3:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

dont have a topic that says the words 'BREAKING NEWS' and the name "Tony Pena" in it

it makes my ears perk up like we demoted him or something.. but funny post

Yasuhiko Yabuta is to Major League Baseball as Drew Carey is to The Price is Right

by focs on May 27, 2008 3:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm sorry, focs,

just attempting to inject some humor into the situation.

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 3:55 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

haha.. you can understand how one just might hope that maybe just maybe one day a guy hitting like .160 will be demoted

Yasuhiko Yabuta is to Major League Baseball as Drew Carey is to The Price is Right

by focs on May 27, 2008 3:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I wish that were an option

And if he had any options remaining, it would be.

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on May 27, 2008 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

ya really think someone would claim him off of waivers?

TPJ...you're dead to me

by billybeingbilly on May 27, 2008 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Do I think some team would want a plus-plus defensive SS as a utility IFer?

Yes

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on May 27, 2008 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

You and your...

plus-plus.

by djk royal on May 27, 2008 4:03 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Correction

Plus-plus-plus.

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on May 27, 2008 4:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

make that

plus-plus-plus-minus

by ZeppelinDZ on May 27, 2008 4:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

If you add another plus, I'll agree with you.

I probably disagree with you.

by NYRoyal on May 27, 2008 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I am a

plus-plus-plus-plus-minus-minus-minus-minus-minus-minus-minus shortstop, myself.

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 4:20 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, plus-plus

two plusses for the two errors he committed yesterday that the official scorer didn’t charge him with…

Sarcasm™. It's the new gravy.

by jonfmorse on May 27, 2008 5:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 4:01 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Can

I still trade them for a pair of tickets and a couple beers. Ok I’ll settle for a couple beers.

sign Greinke a Evan Longoria type deal now.

by kcscoliny on May 27, 2008 4:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

So's your mom

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on May 27, 2008 4:05 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I knew you might take this news badly...

I’m sorry. I hate being dumped too. :P

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 4:08 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Apologize this retard

Yes, I am the agent for Carlos Delgado.

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on May 27, 2008 4:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Amazing

I lol’ed. Have you fanshotted that? You should.

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 4:13 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think it was already, I'm not sure. Wasn't it a couple weeks back.

One of the funniest stories all year. That and the White Sox “slumpbuster” thing.

OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG

by devil_fingers on May 27, 2008 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

good that we’ve got an adultery tag established…

by royalsreview on May 27, 2008 6:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I'm going to use as much as possible.

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 27, 2008 7:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I like the "you" tag as well

OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG

by devil_fingers on May 27, 2008 10:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Being a narcissist, however,

I demand a “me” tag.

Sarcasm™. It's the new gravy.

by jonfmorse on May 27, 2008 10:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'll tag my next post

“jonfmorse” :P

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 28, 2008 9:19 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think "joel" needs to be a tag

billybutlerformvp is getting into that territory, too

OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG

by devil_fingers on May 28, 2008 10:00 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I'm not sold on the former,

but billybutlerformvp should be the tag I use in posts when pitcher wins or fairweather fans are mentioned. :P

A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.

by NHZ on May 28, 2008 10:12 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Geez, now I just feel sorry for him

what kind of fairweather fan would pick the Royals? Making fun of someone like that might be a hate crime.

OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG

by devil_fingers on May 28, 2008 10:43 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Also

I think “joel” (aka “steve phillips”) definitely should be in some sort of RR Hall of Fame, and a tag has to be in there. That’s a bigger no-brainer than Huber’s retired number.

OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG

by devil_fingers on May 28, 2008 10:44 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs