So last night, I went to the Royals game. They had not won since i returned after graduating from college in Saint Louis. 12 days I resided in Kansas City again without a Royals victory. That curse was exorcised Saturday night, although there were a few moments where I was certain we were going to blow it. Pena and our outfielders created a blooper on a dropped fly ball. Joakim Soria doubled his season total for baserunners allowed. Anyway, we won. Today, we won again, 6-1. Holy hell. That's two in a row. Tuesday, if we win in Chicago, that's called a winning streak (Thank you manager Lou Brown). This reminds me of the baseball classic "Major League." Every season, because the Royals really mimic those terrible Cleveland teams of the late 80s and early 90s, I like to compare our laughability and roster with that of the Indians team in the hilarious movie. While I'm sure it's a stretch to do, and it always is, it at least amuses me to make comparisons. I'll add some quotables as well.
Willie Mays Hayes=Joey Gathright-- "Every time you hit the ball in the air I want you to drop and give me 20 push ups"
Roger Dorn=Mark Grudzielanek--"What am I supposed to do? Dive for it?" (apologies to Grudz because he is still one of our better players, but the age is showing and the skill doesn't seem to be there)
Pedro Cerrano=Jose Guillen (attitudes notwithstanding) "I hit straight ball very much. Curveball. Bats afraid."
Rube Baker=John Buck (southern accents, throwing issues, likeability) "My momma always said, 'It's better to eat shit than to not eat at all.'"
Harry Doyle=Denny Matthews "Baker swings and sends a 'real screamer' towards short. Ah wrap up with it, fires to first...and Baker beats it with a head-first slide. So the Indians have a runner. I think I'll wet my pants."
Rachel Phelps=Glass family "These are the players we'll be inviting to Spring Training this year."---"This guy is dead"--"Cross him off the list then."
Charlie Donovan=Dayton Moore "That reminds me. I was going to ask you. What exactly is our team concept?"
Lou Brown=Trey Hillman "Come on Dorn. Get in front of the damn ball. Don't give me this Ole bullshit"....also "No, keep him in, let's see how he reacts."
Past Royals that make the cut and fit accurately:
Rick Vaughn=Mike MacDougal "Look. I'll throw it. You just make sure you catch it."
Jake Taylor=Brent Mayne "I'm hungover. My knees are killing me and if you were gonna pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees."
Eddie Harris=Paul Byrd "Crisco...Bardol...Vagisil. Any one of them will give you another two to three inches drop on your curveball. Of course if the umps are watching me real close, I'll rub a little jalapeno up my nose, get it runnin', and if I need to load the ball up I just...wipe my nose."
Anyways, just some entertainment to hold us over on the off day. Draft coming up as well. I look forward to reading a lot from you studious people. I love the Royals and love all the stat analysis, just not enough to do all the research myself.