Real Nicknaming for a Real Royals Blog
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 2:20 PM EDT
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Let's get this out of the way: I like Rany Jazayerli. He's a longtime Royals fan. He got Rob Neyer to exchange and publish emails about the team in which Neyer seems to have zero faith and hope for (maybe some love). He makes money removing warts from ugly people. He is one of the Founders of Baseball Prospectus. I get it. He's important. Blah blah blah. Whatever. But exactly who does he think he is, starting a blog, and after just a few months deciding to have the "official" nicknaming contest of Royals internet fandom?
I'm not questioning his loyalty or his important place in on-line Royals fandom. I'm certainly no one to judge such matters. But I do think it is presumptuous for him suddenly decide, after having been cut loose by Rob Neyer, to decide that HE gets to host the nicknaming.
It's too late now. I don't want to get RR involved in a war with a cat who probably has the substances and delivery systems to give us all acne so bad none of us will be able to leave our mothers' basements -- even for a Star Trek convention.
What we can do is to establish some nicknames of our own. However, given the overwhelming enthusiasm for Jazayerli's usurpation, there's no point directly competing with him at this point. Like Michael Bluth in his high school student body presidential election, let's not -- we shouldn't -- do that to the school. I propose that the readers of this blog decide to nickname those players neglected by Dr. Epidermis: the grinders. And here I don't mean well-known bastions of grit like Ross Gload, but those players whom foolish scouts and sabermetricians consider "borderline," but whom we all know are the heart of the team. So, without further ado, let's go over a few players and some suggestions to be gathered up for later polling.
Mike Aviles. Obviously the most crucial issue at this time. We were arguing about what level of greatness he would attain long before his callup, and thus we get dibs on the most recent KC sensation that some fans might want to engage in some... questionable interactions. Sure, he might turn out to be the next Bo Hart, but I think we all know better -- it's only a matter of time before this offensive juggernaut takes over the the airwaves at the always-ready-to-jump-on-a-story-from-the-flyovers Wordwide Leader. Possibilities:
- My initial thought was "Off the Table," but, as was pointed out to me by NYRoyal, this is too abstract (although I think NYRoyal is also afraid that it might be too true!).
- NYRoyal seems to be pimping for "El Salvador," which is nice, and, again seems true. I accidentally modified this into "El Salvatore," which is actually Italian, and everyone knows that Italians make up the historically grittiest baseball ethnic group (Dimaggio, Rizzuto, Fasano...). "El Salvatore" does have some questionable connotations. In general, there could be any number of "saviors" running around in the system or the draft pool. Besides, NYRoyal already came up with the Royals Confidence Index, GRIT (although this will eventually be superseded by ERSTAD) and its offshoots, and he never lets us have fun overreacting (Moore is dooming teh franchise!!!111). But it's up to the people.
- I believe that buddyball was the first to suggest "The Missing Link." Great evolution reference, and also recalls one of my favorite WCCW wrestlers from the early 1980s. Not bad, but, again, anyone could be the Missing Link -- Shealy seems to swing like someone lower down the evolutionary tree.
- My personal favorite is my own idea, naturally: Avilanche. It sounds vaguely wrestling related, but not directly. It might also be taken to reflect a slightly pudgy built (Ronnie Belliard-pudgy, not Cal Pickering-esque massiveness). Plus, it is name-derived (in your face Rany !!!!1111one!). It also has the advantage of actually sounding like a nickname, might refer to an "avilanche" of hits.
Shane Costa. All I can think of it our fearless host's own wonderful "Costa Now! " One of the great AAA Grinders of our time. He even got name-checked by Bill "Sports Guy" Simmons a couple of years back. Shane is a man of wisdom, as evidenced by his myspace page : "not much to say about myself... im a pretty laid back dude..i play a game for a living, so i like to work hard. Im a big believer in if u work hard for what u want<< u just never know.. i value my family and friends, and have learned that what goes around comes around...so if u want to know anything else....find out for urself.." Another reason that Aviles might not be the best choice for "El Salvadore/tore," check out this picture (suitable for devotional use):
Jeff Fulchino. So many possibilities. Easy name-derived fun: Mother-Fulcher. Fuchlie! Fulchiroonie. My favorite: Jeff "I'll Bet You Didn't Even Know I Was On The Roster" Fulchino. I think "Big Head Jeff" came up at one point. Here he is chillin' with an Isotopes' fan (I believe):
Ramón Santo Ramírez. Ok, I forgot this in the original post, but always mean to have him in here. NHZ originally started the "this guy needs a nickname" train (we can all blame Rany for Nunez getting hurt since the injury came not long after putting him in the list of guys needing nicknames). NHZ's original idea, that he's still sticking with, is Super Captain Laser Hero. Other ideas include marbotty's inexplicably hilarious "Car RamRod" (and variations), Eppenweb's (and others') simple but effective "Ram Ram," and my own "Mon Ram," (meh, I like it, but it won't catch on). How 'bout "Mony?" Super obnoxious, but original and different. We could also go for something about how hesgoodbuthecantclosebecauseheisntaprovencloser or something, since we all know that 7 is different from 9 .
Justin Huber. Oh, the humanity! What hath Dayton wrought? St. Justin may be a Padre for now (or not, I haven't checked the transaction wire lately). But he will always be loyal in our hearts. He is probably the best choice for some sort of "Savior" name, since we all hope he will come again. Suggestions are welcome here. And on all of these and more, for that matter.
So, that's it. Let's take our task seriously, and sift through some of this stuff before voting and definitively showing Dr. ZitQA his place.
Update, Friday, June 20, 2008 -- It Begins: I've posted the Aviles poll. I’ll try to put up a new poll ever 5 days or so to give a good window for everyone to vote. I hope we can keep this post around as a “gathering place” for suggestions, as there aren’t nearly enough yet, even for the grinders. I also think that we should at least start gathering suggestions right here for the whole roster - the longer Rany waits, the more of the roster we will “claim.” I’m tempted to make Jose Guillen the next poll -- a shot across the bow, as it were (as if “taking” Aviles wasn’t enough). Please offer suggestions, whether it’s nickname nominations for those not voted on yet, or how to better organize this thing.
Update, Thursday, June 26, 2008. In the first poll, MIke Aviles has been nicknamed "Avilanche." I'll let NHZ, NYRoyal, and the rest think of appropriate enforcements... Tpoll thread and results can be viewed here (I pretty sure I managed to close the poll). I'm working on the next poll now, keep the ideas coming (although we may have to switch to another post/thread soon in order to keep it "up top").
Update, Sunday, June 29, 2008. The Jose Guillen Poll is up. Get to it.
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Multiple nicknames
I would argue that we don’t have to choose between “Off the Table,” “El Salvador” (there’s no “e”) and “The Missing Link,” and “Avilanche.” They are all good, and appropriate. More importantly, great players often have multiple nicknames. Ted Williams had at least four nicknames (The Kid, The Thumper, The Splendid Splinter, and Teddy Ballgame). And isn’t Aviles at least 3/4ths as good as Ted Williams?
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
Edited to make me look slightly less stupid
I’m with you on the Williams comparison, isn’t that a bad precedent for our boy? I mean, Williams wasn’t exactly popular in his day with the Boston fans (A-Rod comparison would be appropriate, but was Williams genuinely an a-hole?).
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Aviles needs to learn from Teddy Nickname
He just needs to tip his cap to the fans and all will be well
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions
I meant "wasn't Williams genuinely an a-hole?"
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
He was conceited and didn't give a damn about the fans...at least while he was a player
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions
I remember wasting time in a library a few years back
and reading bios of both Williams and Mantle. Williams came off as a real jerk (obviously, he was still an unbelievable player) who mellowed out after retirement (hence the rose-colored glasses on his playing days, especially from Boston fans), whereas Mantle seemed like a surly, chauvinist a-hole after retirement. Maybe that’s unfair—I didn’t know personally like Bob Costas and whatnot, and I don’t mean to judge the man’s entire character, but, geez.
then there is Pete Rose, who comes off as an asshole in his own books about himself.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 2:32 PM EDT up reply actions
there has been some good stuff written about williams
... can’t remember the titles now… but from back in the 80s, when he hadn’t been canonized
seems like a fascinating guy, almost like Bob Knight, who, despite lots of good qualities, just can’t resist being obnoxious and rude as hell to people for no reason
Pretty much a disaster as a manager, wasn't he?
I seem to remember reading that he couldn’t understand why his hitters weren’t as good as he was.
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
It was more that he couldn't
handle managing teams which, frankly, sucked balls. Kinda like Davey Johnson.
Sarcasm™. It's the new gravy.
Mantle
I think the deal with Mantle is that after he retired, his drinking problem really took off. And, like many alcoholics (he admitted to being an alcoholic), he wasn’t so friendly when he was drunk. So, most of the time, he was either an angry drunk or angry that wasn’t drinking at the moment. Near the end of his life, he figured some things out, got his alcohol problem under control and became a pretty nice guy.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions
I had no idea that's what Rany looked like
The first time I saw Will Carroll, Jim Callis, and even Rob Neyer, I was pretty disappointed. I don’t know what I expected them to look like. Nate Silver, on the other hand, actually looks pretty cool.
“Avilanche” is pretty good. I’ve been going with “Awesome Aviles”, but that’s not particularly creative.
Joey Gathright is Joey Jo-Jo Jr. Shabadoo or Sir Jumps-a-Lot.
Kyle Davies – Davies Strikeout, King of the Wild Frontier. Wow, that is lame. How bout “Hiram”?
Jose Guillen – Captain Shenanigans? Team Baby Inspector?
John Bale – Rocky
I like that “scissoring” is a tag. Well done!
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
Team Baby Inspector is good
I guess something like The Pediatrician might also work, but may be too complicated
how about "The Nanny"?
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
Neyer
Doesn’t look so silly, but, and I fell terrible saying this, really, his voice is just, um, not so great. I think there was a really bad lisp. By itself, this probably set back the sabermetric revolution 3-5 years when baseball execs heard it.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 2:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, his speech impediment makes him a poor radio or TV guy
It’s not quite a lisp, I don’t think, but some kind of odd halting way of speaking which doesn’t allow him to get any sentence out smoothly.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 2:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Wow, changing the "post time" when editing really messes things up
Doesn’t list the full comments and whatnot. Wish I could change it back to the original time.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
The only nickname I've come up with that I really like
“Slappy Joe” Gathright
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
Okay, explain yourself.
How does “the undead” factor into this post? :P
We ought to just do a bunch of polls to establish the RR-sanctioned nicknames. I like Rany and all, but we don’t have to pay fealty to him. We are our own nation of nicknaming nitwits (I like alliteration).
So…polls! Polls! Polls, anyone?
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
Let's get the nominees in and then post the polls
I’m concerned about posting a number of polls for these players—won’t that push all the other posts down? Or should we do like one a week for a while?
I say we stick with the grinders, though.
(I guess Huber doesn’t count as undead—he just hasn’t risen again, yet. We’ve had the sabermetric Good Friday, which awaits the gritty Easter Sunday, to borrow a phrase from Hegel.)
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 3:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, I would stagger the posts/polls
One every 5-7 days or so.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions
I think we could make that work
of course, we’d better do it fast before everyone gets DFA’d. :P
Anyway, so do we do a nickname nomination fanpost? Or is that what this is?
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
Yeah, I think this should be the ideas/nominations post
Everybody kicks in their ideas and we can use any good ones we’ve found elsewhere. Once we’ve got enough, we can start doing the polls one player at a time.
And then, whichever nickname gets the most votes becomes the player’s official nickname. The use of any other nickname for that player puts the poster on probation. Second offense is a one-week suspension. Third offense is a one-month suspension. Fourth offense is permanent banishment. This place needs some law and order.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 3:48 PM EDT up reply actions
I agree in principle
but I think the suspensions aren’t enough. I propose we’ll some kind of illegal torture methods based on “batting average is the best stat” immersion, the undead, and analgoes.
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
And shortened sentences for posters with high FanGRIT
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, I meant it to be the nominations post
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 4:01 PM EDT up reply actions
That, and a post of a pretty hilarious picture of Rany
(don’t hurt me, please, Dr. Acne!)
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 4:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Pimple Popper, MD!
(thank you, Seinfeld)
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Oh, but he has
dude ALMOST has a 100 OPS+!
(NYRoyal, you are going to eat some serious crow if he ever manages to OBP .340!!!!oneoneone)
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
Indeed
I’m praying for regression
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 3:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Never!
My hero is just getting better and betterer.
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
Maybe the Royals can get him back to platoon in left with Lubanski
Hube and Lube!
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 4:04 PM EDT up reply actions
And then have
Billy “Butts” Butler spot start out there…
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
When Hube meets Butts, he's going to need Lube there
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions
That's not what I hear
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Anyways,
I have to nominate Super Captain Laser Hero for Ramon Ramirez, and make an accompanying picture with MSPaint.
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
Shoot
I forgot that I was doing to add a whole section on him. Is it too late to edit?
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 4:12 PM EDT up reply actions
It's never too late
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions
As Michael Scott told Jim,
“Never ever, ever, ever give up.”
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
Done
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 4:31 PM EDT up reply actions
More on Gathright
In addition to “Slappy Joe,” I would also like to add “Gritright” and “Gathwrong”
Sometimes these things just write themselves.
And I’ve always like “Ross Choad”. Its not the most common slang word, but it is appropriate for him.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
I personally love the "G-Load" one.
Another inexplicably hilarious suggestion.
But I’m not sure he fits the criteria for “our” election.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 17, 2008 4:32 PM EDT up reply actions
Buntright
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 17, 2008 4:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Look to the Negro Leagues for inspiration...
NICKNAMES/DISCONTENT ON THE MOONLIT HIGHWAY
“One place where the Negro Leagues had the white majors completely beaten was in the nickname department. In addition to Satchel Paige, Cool Papa Bell, and Double-Duty Radcliffe there was Jelly Gardner, Ready Cash, Spoony Palm, Groundhog Thompson, Honey Lott, Cleveland Clark, Ace Adams, True Heart Ferrell, Copperknee Thompson, Steelarm Davis, Cannonball Redding, Dolly Gray, Turkey Stearns, King Tutt, Scrappy Brown, Tank Carr, Possum Poles, Bunny Downs, Rats Henderson, Bullet Joe Rogan, and many, many more.”
Nobody will celebrate harder when the Royals make the playoffs!!
Manwich and Sloppy Joe in the same lineup
I love it.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 18, 2008 1:24 AM EDT up reply actions
That should be Slappy Joe
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 18, 2008 1:24 AM EDT up reply actions
+1 on Manwich
That’s yours, right marbotty? I’m not sure whether we should do the “big ‘uns” or not. It would be pretty funny if we got them done before Rany, then flooded his comments if his own polls came out differently…
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 18, 2008 1:34 AM EDT up reply actions
yeah
I came up with a bunch for Rany’s thing. This was perhaps the simplest and best. (Also submitted: $36 million Manwich).
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Happy with Guillen's production yet?
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 18, 2008 2:26 AM EDT up reply actions
I was all for signing him too
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 18, 2008 3:07 AM EDT up reply actions
whoops missed this line
I propose that the readers of this blog decide to nickname those players neglected by Dr. Epidermis: the grinders.
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Isn't A Man Witch
A Warlock?
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Jun 18, 2008 11:08 AM EDT up reply actions
There's only one way to find out
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 18, 2008 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions
No, all you need to do is weigh him and a duck
If they weigh the same amount, he’s a warlock, and then you must burn him.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 18, 2008 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions
that's right...because very small rocks float as well
Nobody will celebrate harder when the Royals make the playoffs!!
Came up with a few
Guillen – “Samsonite”. He’s capable of carrying his teammates, but also has a reputation of having a lot of baggage.
Aviles – “Lunchbox”.
Tomko – “Knapsack”. Because he’s homeless. Again.
Mike Aviles
Mike Aviles is “The Extra” because thats what Hillman called him, and all his hits are for extra bases
Aviles = Starbucks
He had a lot of haters saying he was just coming up for a cup of coffee, but he is making the most of it and will soon by a worldwide comglomerate.
At least Wally Joyner's not on the team....
My new nickname for Soria is "Tranquilo"
“When you get more runs in the game, it’s more tranquilo—more relaxed,” Soria said.
Tranquilo means tranquil, calm or relaxed. And Soria is calm, cool and collected in even the most stressful save situations.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
So is Friday midday an OK time to start the polling?
Am I out of line in doing this, by the way? Should someone else be posint it?
If not, I was thinking of starting with Avilanche. Oops! Don’t want to bias it—Aviles.
After that, we can go through the rest of the grinders every 5-7 days as suggested above, and if Rany hasn’t done his thing, we’ll start on the others. I figure give each poll 5 days to run. That should give people a chance to read them
Having said that, it would be funny to do Aviles, then go straight to Guillen. Then when Rany finally posts a poll, we all flood the site with emails and comments “It’s already been decided buy a REAL Royals Blog, Pimplepopper!”
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
You're the man
This is your baby, so go for it. Do you have multiple nickname nominees for all of the regulars?
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 20, 2008 1:32 AM EDT up reply actions
Well, it's not "my" blog, though, I just sleep over the grates
The original thing was a silly “feud” with Rany, so I chose the scrubs, at least when I started thinkig about it. Particularly given the hilarious extent to which the pre-callup arguments about Mike Aviles (Maybe every Royals Blog and board did this—I dunno, this is the only one [other than the “biggies” {Rany, JoPo}] I read). And now he’s the “newest sensation.”
And with all the talk fo “grinders” and, I think, the “AAA Journeymen Grinder All-Stars” joke I started thinking, WE should be nicknaming those dudes.
Where’s the pancakes? Oh, yeah. So I don’t have multiple stuff for the regulars other than Guillen (love him or hate, ya gotta admit the guy attracts monikers!) because of the scrubs thing. But I figure we can leave this post up and people can keep adding nominations.
Huh, for a joke I thought we’d laugh about and “make official” for a week at most, this could turn out to be a lot of fun. Especially if we get through Huber and Fulchino and start christening the rest of the team before Rany can get to it.
SO, EVERYONE [maybe I’ll edit this in up top tomorrow]: if you have any suggestions that aren’t on here, start getting them in!
(I hope he knows it’s all in fun—Even though if it comes to us choosing “The Comissioner” there’s no way I’m calling Gordon “Splash” just because HIS poll said so.)
I gotta go to bed.
[That’s (blank) (blank) (blank)]
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 20, 2008 1:43 AM EDT up reply actions
until Gordon earns "Splash", we should call him "Splish" or something of that nature
and if Avilanche doesn’t become known as Avilanche, there is no justice in this world
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By the way
Soria’s nickname should be “El Tranquilo” not “Tranquilo”
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 20, 2008 1:32 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm sure I'll find an faux-Italian way to mispell the Spanish suggestion, as seems to be my custom
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 20, 2008 1:35 AM EDT up reply actions
Mike Aviles = Larssof
Latest Royal Shortstop of the Future.
I like the Samsonite name for Guillen.
Soria needs a good nick name. Mexican Tough is too tainted by Buddy Bell’s naive and sorta offensive brand of racial stereotyping.
I still like German and The Kaiser.
Grudz = Pig pen? Or maybe the Spooky Pig (due to those dead eyes of his.)
www.rockchalktalk.com for pretty good KU baseball coverage
The first poll is up: Mike Aviles
As suggested above, I’ll try to put up a new poll ever 5 days or so to give a good window for everyone to vote. I hope we can keep this post around as a “gathering place” for suggestions, as there aren’t nearly enough yet, even for the “grinders.” I also think that we should at least start gathering suggestions right here for the whole roster - the longer Rany waits, the more of the roster we will “claim.” I’m tempted to make Jose the next target - a shot across the bow, as it were (as if “taking”) Aviles wasn’t enough. Please offer suggestions, whether it’s nickname nominations (too late for Aviles at this point), or how to better organize this thing.
[I’m also adding some of this to the post above]
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
I thought I linked it up top
Here it is.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 21, 2008 10:17 AM EDT up reply actions
Gload
Captain Terrible
TPJ – Something elf related….....North Pole? Candy Cane? Rudolph?
Too late for the Aviles poll, but going along with the Italian heritage, Aviles = The Plumber. Get a picture of Mario, superimpose Aviles’ face over it, and add the caption ‘Flushing the crap out of the lineup since 2008’
Gload=The Terminator
For all the innings he’s killed.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
Personally,
I don’t think “G-Load” will ever be topped. It’s just so dang funny. Especialy since it’s already been used toward him in a deprecatory manner.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 20, 2008 5:44 PM EDT up reply actions
And then there's the fact...
that we might assigned Gload a nickname just as he gets DFA’d. It’d be like Jason Tyner Bobblehead Night all over again!
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
If that's all it takes
Why didn’t we try to get him a nickname during Spring Training?
No wonder Justin allowed himself to be shipped off—he knew we weren’t worthy of His Presence.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 20, 2008 6:23 PM EDT up reply actions
G-load, for sure.
Blowey Gaithwrong
Billy Butler = The Fat Kid, Bily Dilly, or Bully Bitler
Lou Kochaver
Guillen = JoGui, pronounced, “hoagy”
DeDavid DeJesus
Grudz = Mapplethorpe, in homage to the ridiculous calendar photo
by Nighthawk at the Diner on Jun 20, 2008 8:57 PM EDT reply actions
I like some better than others, but overall that's a pretty impressive list
The Guillen one is my fav of those—might be too complicated for visual/audioi difference, but kudos nonetheless
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 21, 2008 12:56 AM EDT up reply actions
That Was My
Creation.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Jun 26, 2008 11:02 PM EDT up reply actions
Who's next?
I know I said this was about taking the Grinders, but there are a number of good suggestions for Guillen, so what would people think if we do him next?
Also, keep submitting ideas here for all of ‘em, and I’ll try to keep track.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
Works for me
And I think 5 days in between posts is sufficient.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 23, 2008 11:39 AM EDT up reply actions
You betta recognize!
As NYRoyal points out on the Aviles poll thread, Rany brings up both this post and the Aviles poll thread in his most recent column:
Aviles doesn’t have a nickname yet – yes, I owe you a report on that – and our friends at Royals Review are debating a nickname for Aviles while making fun of my hair. (Just as you’re not supposed to field between hops, apparently I’m not supposed to be photographed between haircuts. This photo is a few years old; I’ve since given up and go with the nearly-shaved-head look. Or as we call it at Baseball Prospectus, "The Carroll." Also, "The Goldstein." Or if you want, "The Sheehan." Keith Woolner didn’t leave us because the Indians offered him a job – he got out while he still had his hair.) Where was I…oh, yeah, you can vote on a nickname here. Though none of these grab me just yet.
As I remarked elsewhere, this is sadly a very happy moment for me, but really, for all of us. Except “none of these grab me just yet.” I don’t know how to respond… I…
Oh, yeah.
TOO %$#@ BAD! We were “there” first. I don’t care if it’s Avilanche, Larssof, El/Il Salvador/tore, Lunchbox, or Missing Link, whatever will be will be! (wait for it….)
RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWGHGHGHGH!!
That’s it. Screw Fulchino. If the guy can’t even pitch decently long enough to get a nickname, we’re not going to bother. As soon as this is poll is done, we’re going Guillen, so get in any suggestions you have for whatever players on the Royals, and let’s turn this mother out for what it’s worth.
I don’t care who it grabs.
And that’s what I said.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
I'm not sure where he got that
Did someone mock his haircut? That would be disappointing—we’re above that, mostly.
Regardless, Rany is awesome, and one of the main reasons I like the Royals so much.
This space intentionally left blank.
Yeah, I don't think we made fun of that, either
I mean, I did make some really dumb (and obviously silly) jokes about dermatologists, but I thought the whole antagonism thing was, well, rather obvious (see the tags).
Oh well, some people only see what they want to see.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 24, 2008 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I think that picture makes fun of itself
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 24, 2008 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Avilanche Wins in a Landslide!
(c) NYRoyal
In the first poll, MIke Aviles has been nicknamed “Avilanche.” I’ll let NHZ, NYRoyal, and the rest think of appropriate enforcements… here is the poll thread for that, and here are the results as of now (I think I closed the poll, not sure)
50% Avilanche 105 votes
7% El Salvador 16 votes
3% El Salvatore 8 votes
8% The Missing Link 17 votes
3% Awesome Aviles 7 votes
19% Lunchbox 41 votes
3% The Extra 8 votes
2% Starbucks 5 votes
0% Larssof 2 votes
Keep posting new ideas here… A Guillen poll is in the works. Remember—don’t let Rany, or anyone else, get away with anything but Royals Review (TM) -sanctioned nicknames.
Long Live The Grinders!
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
Anyone who uses a nickname for Aviles other than "Avilanche" will suffer the following penalty:
You must have a t-shirt made up that says “I am Ross Gload’s boyfriend” (girlfriend for the females) with a big picture of Rossy’s grinning mug on it. You must wear this t-shirt to a public place and have your picture taken wearing that t-shirt and post it on this website where you will be taunted and ridiculed.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 26, 2008 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Except me
‘cause I already barricaded myself within Fortress El Salvador.
Sarcasm™. It's the new gravy.
I built that fortress!
And since I have the “moderator” tag, I have immunity from all rules and punishments.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 26, 2008 4:46 PM EDT up reply actions
Well, Fine Then
Nicaragua it is.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Jun 26, 2008 11:05 PM EDT up reply actions
No, I give you full credit for that. Now defend it from our enemies.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 26, 2008 11:43 PM EDT up reply actions
No problem.
I’ll just club mano_cornuta repeatedly about the head and shoulders with his own hardback copy of the Orange Catholic Bible, and he’ll back off.
Sarcasm™. It's the new gravy.
I'm not afraid of you
Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the second death. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only Avilanche will remain.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 27, 2008 1:44 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, just you remember
Where your path leads: wandering aimlessly through the barren desert wastes, blind in both eye and mind. And all because you preferred a psychotic prima donna to Virgina Madsen.
Kids, don’t let this happen to you.
Sarcasm™. It's the new gravy.
For Soria, I'm going to stick with "Ezekial"
...no matter how many votes “Mexicutioner” gets.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 26, 2008 4:47 PM EDT up reply actions
I think we might have to have a discussion
of “free riders” and the problem of community in liberal democracies.
Not because I think it will convince anybody of anything, but because it would be so excruciatingly boring that everyone will cede to my desires to make me shut the hell up.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 26, 2008 5:03 PM EDT up reply actions
But seriously, folks
Any last-minute Guillen suggestions before the next poll goes up later tonight or tomorrow? No promises if they’ll make it in, but now’s the time.
I’m thinking Ramirez after that.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
Just make sure you include "Jo-Gui", pronounced "Hoagie"
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 26, 2008 5:22 PM EDT up reply actions
I think that is Phil's baby
(to coin a phrase)
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Jun 26, 2008 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions
It's already on the list
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 26, 2008 5:30 PM EDT up reply actions
I think it's nighthawk at the diner's, unless someone else suggested it to him
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 26, 2008 5:31 PM EDT up reply actions
It's My Baby
And I’m rockin’ it.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Jun 26, 2008 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions
OK, OK, just checkin
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 27, 2008 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions
Are You Saying
“It’s over”?
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Jun 26, 2008 11:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Was it over when the German's bombed Pearl Harbor?
Was it over when Hillman pulled Ramirez for Peralta?
Oh, wait
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Jun 27, 2008 12:58 AM EDT up reply actions
The Guillen Poll is up
Vote early and often here
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
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