The Battle for Grass Creek Resumes

by royalsreview on Jul 12, 2008 1:49 AM EDT in News Comment 41 comments

The State of the Battle

Despite the Royals stealing away beloved ex-Mariner Gil Meche prior to the 2007 season, the Mariners have been the stronger side in recent years. The Royals went 3-5 against the M's in '06, 3-6 in '07 and are only 1-1 against the coffeekind this season. Thanks to their success, the Mariner hordes have pushed eastward into Thermopolis and now claim most of, if not all, of Hot Springs County, Wyoming, the historical flash point between both sides. According to all observers, the Royals are losing ground daily, and are the weakest they've been in Wyoming in years. Using both human intelligence and satellite data, Royals Review was able to construct this map.

People are dying right now in Central Wyoming.

Fremont, Natrona and Converse counties are not fun places to be right now, especially for Royals loyalists. Johnson County, always susceptible, due to a large number of flannel outlets, was one of the first battleground counties to fall, and in fact, may remain in Seattle's hands for a generation. Crucially, we know that the teal and silver are in country in northwest Albany County, the last buffer between Seattle and the Capital. We believe this territory is safe at the moment thanks in large part to a shipment of Mike Aviles jersies that arrive via helicopter late last week.

With a strong showing this weekend, it is believed that the Royals will be able to quickly recapture Carbon County's valuable mineral deposits, which have been critical in feeding injured pitcher John Bale. Natrona County, featuring Casper, is a top priority for the Royals, but may not be salvageable in the short term. Vaguely metropolitan, Casper's citizens have embraced the Mariner lifestyle and are believed to be harboring exiled leader Bill Bavasi.

Looking Ahead

While years of failure have led to a large loss of territory, the near-term prospects are not entirely bleak. In their arrogance the Mariners have declined to establish any radio affiliates in Wyoming, refusing to take the advantage of the opportunity left when the Royals lost their crucial Sundance station. Moreover, with the Mariners currently mired in last place and the owners of a 36-56 record, it is probable that large pockets of Mariner support are much more vulnerable than they superficially appear. Stealing Meche remains a valauble propaganda plank and has been recently augmented by the seduction of conversion Horacio Ramirez.. All efforts will be made to insure that Raul Ibanez -- preternaturally a fence-sitter in this fight -- does not leave with the Mariners this weekend. Finally, a well-placed tactical linedrive off the elbow of white hero Willie Bloomquist this weekend may severely undercut the allegiance of leaners across central Wyoming.

Problematically however, with opportunity also comes pressure. With all seven remaining skirmishes set to take place in Kansas City, a Royal failure to maximize results against a bleeding Mariner squad may not result in additional lost territory directly, but could nevertheless represent a substantial loss in opportunity cost. Kyle Davies is reportedly already emotionally distraught over the responsibility riding on his shoulders with Sunday's start, and it is likely that many of his teammates feel the same way as well.

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shouldnt we be fighting for a more neutral territory than one in the strong mariner territory?

TPJ...you're dead to me

by billybeingbilly on Jul 11, 2008 4:09 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

grass creek is the historical divide

it was once part of the fatherland

these current boundaries are just hallucinations

grass creek remains the long term goal

by royalsreview on Jul 11, 2008 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

ahhh...working our way to grass creek....conquering everything in our path....

got it

TPJ...you're dead to me

by billybeingbilly on Jul 11, 2008 4:15 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

is our march towards Grass Creek more like that of General Sherman or more like the Trail of Tears

just wondering?

Never giving up on your team is what makes you a good fan.

by kcisbetterthanstlateverything on Jul 11, 2008 4:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

anyone going to the game tonight?

I always ask this but…asking it again.

On another note…TPJ, like God, is watching you. From a distance.

4th place 08 baby! Baby steps (Thanks, Jose Guillen!) is the name of the game.

by loyal2theroyals on Jul 11, 2008 4:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I ... can't... escape... TPJ

by royalsreview on Jul 11, 2008 4:36 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

looks like Baltimore's LF is in awe of our giant scoreboard...nice

Never giving up on your team is what makes you a good fan.

by kcisbetterthanstlateverything on Jul 11, 2008 4:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I am

Proud father of a budding Royals fan.

by Skirra on Jul 12, 2008 10:18 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Is there still time to sign Sexson and get him in the lineup for revenge weekend?

And, I know I said this last night: immediately after his crucial aid in the series, trade him for Huber.

Where, exactly, in Kaufman are the Grapes of Wrath stored?

OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG

by devil_fingers on Jul 11, 2008 4:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

first base dugout

The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib

by buddyball on Jul 11, 2008 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

coming up from the south flank

I live in Craig, Colorado, which is in the NW corner of the state about 30 miles from Wyoming. I’ll be sneaking across the border tonight to drop Royals gear and bumperstickers under the cover of darkness. I will actively work to convert the cowboys into royal blue royal supporters. Wish me the best.

go royals

by daverclear on Jul 11, 2008 5:04 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Great stuff as always.

by djk royal on Jul 11, 2008 5:07 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

and kyle davies will lead them...

where .500 might; but, probably won't, happen.

by blue bandwagon on Jul 11, 2008 5:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

operation human shield

Never giving up on your team is what makes you a good fan.

by kcisbetterthanstlateverything on Jul 11, 2008 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Meche’s replacements:

The end result of you letting Raul prove himself:

Beware, we are thirsty for revenge.

See what JI started by dropping the periods?

by JI on Jul 11, 2008 5:20 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

that traitorous bastard

I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

by LeoBloom on Jul 11, 2008 7:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

A Lefty Emil

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

i am firmly entrenched in mariner territory in corvallis, oregon...

their minds are weak… their pride wounded… they are ripe for the taking…

where .500 might; but, probably won't, happen.

by blue bandwagon on Jul 11, 2008 5:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Hopefully I can catch this

its been about a week since i’ve watched the boys.

I am ready for a big Royals W.

excellent writeup as well, us folk out on the coasts don’t always get to hear out from the battle front.

Accidentally not thedude925 anymore. I do hate this new name.

by wildthang on Jul 11, 2008 6:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Here In Mariner

Land I have a crucial decision to make; watch the Sailorboys’ live TV feed on satellite or watch the slightly delayed Royals’ MLBTV feed on computer. And yet, with this embarrassment of riches to choose from, I may have to go outside and listen to Denny if the sun finally comes out; a possible trilemna in the offing. In any event, I will be drinking heavily. I think the Sailorboys’ FO will be, too. If they aren’t, they should be.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 6:43 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

do people in Alaska care about sports?

I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

by LeoBloom on Jul 11, 2008 7:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yes

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

anything less than a sweep would be a dispointment

I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

by LeoBloom on Jul 11, 2008 7:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

we're going for the four game sweep of the three-game series.

by cfizzle on Jul 11, 2008 7:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Exgload, TPJ And

Gator could do it; their defense alone would save 382.9 runs in the 3/4 games according to my calculations. If only Raul and Emil were available….......

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:28 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Hoagy Sits So

Gator can play. Sluggo and Wheelz bat 3 and 4, another new configuration. Creeping Bellism?

D. DeJesus lf 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .306
M. Aviles ss 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .298
M. Teahen rf 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .255
B. Butler dh 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .257
M. Grudzielanek 2b 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .314
A. Gordon 3b 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .252
R. Gload 1b 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .280
J. Buck c 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .253
J. Gathright cf 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 .250
Totals 0 0 0 0 0 0 0

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:23 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

just saw this. teahen and DDJ should switch. Grudz and Aviles should switch.

by cfizzle on Jul 11, 2008 7:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Willie Bloomquist Had

His first XBH since 7-15-07 yesterday, courtesy of A-Meal in LF for the A’s. Bloomquist must be a Royal, and soon.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:41 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Blonde Mariner Ditz

Just called Guillen “Hoagy”, but I think it was an accident.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:42 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Anyone Remember Bill

Krueger? I don’t. He’s the FSN studio guy who described Butler’s swing as a “big softball swing” after Billy ofered against a Sailorboy lefty soft tosser last year. Butler would have hammered Krueger. Oh, and they just identified Big Baby as the guy to look out for today, as he’s killing the Sailors.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jul 11, 2008 7:56 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs