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Support the 'Stache! Or: Why we can already say 'No Way' to Jose's All Star Game Dreams

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Additionally, the team is giving out 20,000 moustaches at tonight's game as a clever and friendly reminder that 1) real women have facial hair. 2) everyone looks better when they look like a dick. 3) don't forget to vote for the Yankee, lest we not have ANY representation at the game --OHWAIT.