The Modern Day "Major League"

The Indians have had their ups and downs over the last century of baseball, but my favorite Indians team is easily this plucky bunch, who in the late 80s stunned the baseball world by going from worst to first, beating the heavily favored Yankees in a one-game playoff and making their first post-season in over forty years.

Almost twenty years later, who in today's game compares favorably to that team full of "has-beens" and "never-weres"?

Manager: Lou Brown

Today's comparison: Joe Maddon

Lou Piniella may seem like a clear choice, since after all, they both have the name "Lou." But Piniella is too much of a celebrity - he appears in Aquafina ads! Does that seem like the kinda guy that would put a Major League GM on hold to sell some whitewalls?

No, the clear choice is Joe Maddon, a non-descript, old-school baseball kinda guy who is clearly beloved by his players, but has a no-nonsense attitude, as illustrated by his benching of B.J. Upton. Maddon is a guy I can see managing the Toledo Mud Hens for years, content with his role, then almost begrudgingly taking the Tampa Bay job. But once he gets there, he is energized by the enthusiasm of the young kids, noting "we may have one or two potential All-Stars in here!"

Catcher: Jake Taylor

Today's comparison: Jason Kendall

None are grittier than Jake Taylor, the veteran backstop and team leader of the Indians. But Jason Kendall is pretty gritty, at least according to some advanced metrics. Kendall has been HBP an amazing 229 times in his career, seventh most in baseball history. Now that is gritty. Has he ever faked calling his shot and laid down a bunt single? No, but I wouldn't put it past him. Like Taylor, Kendall is a former All-Star who got hurt, had trouble throwing out baserunners, but rebounded as a gritty backstop to lead a team full of youngsters to contention. I'll leave it to the resident Royals Review ladies to determine whether Kendall is hot enough to land a dame as fine as Rene Russo.

Third Baseman: Roger Dorn

Today's comparison: Michael Young

Sure I'm tempted to compare him to Jeter, what with the defensive limitations and all. But I never got the impression Dorn was quite the superstar Jeter was with the ringzzz and all. Dorn was simply a high priced contract who didn't quite live up to his billing, particularly on defense. In 2004, Michael Young signed a huge contract extension worth $16 million annually. He went on to have a spectacular 2005, but has declined every year since, and is decidedly below average offensively this year. Even worse has been his defensive decline. While he hasn't given the Rangers "any of that o-lay [bullcrap]", his range has been more and more limited. Still, I have no doubt that if the Rangers ever get back into contention, Young would be the first to approach his pitcher and tell him to "strike this ****** OUT!"

Centerfielder: Willie Mays Hayes

Today's Comparison: Wily Taveras

As a kid, was I the only one who didn't know what "hit like Mays, run like Hayes" meant? I mean, I knew who Willie Mays was. I just didn't think that Von Hayes was all that fast.

Oh, it meant Bullet Bob Hayes. That makes sense.

Why not Wily Taveras? He only leads the Majors in steals. And that seems to be his only discernible skill, much like Hayes. Like Hayes, he was not highly thought of in baseball circles. Taveras was left unprotected in the Rule 5 draft (by Cleveland of all teams!) and taken by Houston. I don't know if the Astros were impressed by his 75 OPS+ his rookie season, or if he dazzled them by jumping out of bed and winning a footrace barefooted in spring training, but he was able to stick in Houston, and be dealt to the Rockies where he's piled up the stolen bases.

Rightfielder: Pedro Cerrano

Today's Comparison: Jack Cust

I don't know if Jack Cust is a devotee of Jobu, but like Cerrano he is a powerful, free-swinging corner outfielder. While Cerrano escaped Cuba to avoid religious persecution, Cust had to escape Baltimore to avoid poor baserunning persecution. Like Cerrano, Cust piles up the home runs and the strikeouts. Fastballs, they hit very, very good. Curveballs....bats are afraid.

Starting Pitcher: Eddie Harris

Today's Comparison: Jaime Moyer

Is there anyone that doubts Jaime Moyer puts snot on his fastball? I'm not certain about the Crisco or Vagisil, but I wouldn't put it past him. How else to explain how Moyer continues trucking at age 45?

Starting Pitcher: Ricky Vaughn

Today's Comparison: Scott Olsen

What happened to the wild flamethrowers? We used to have Bo Belinsky putting up ridiculous strikeout and walk numbers every year. Then we had Bobby Witt. Then Mitch Williams. Even Randy Johnson fit this bill early in his career. Today, I can't really think of anyone that has stuck in the majors that can hit the upper 90s with no command. You have to look in the minors, at Jason Neighborgall to get ridiculous numbers. Daniel Cabrera is probably the wildest strikeout pitcher we have now, but he certainly doesn't seem to fit the personality profile of a Rick Vaughn. Scott Olsen seems to come closer, with his jail record, his lack of authority for the police and other authority figures, and getting into scuffles with teammates, much like Vaughn did with Roger Dorn. Olsen certainly can't hit triple digits with his fastball like Vaughn did, but he does strike out quite a few and over 2006-2007 was among the league leaders in walks.

Veg head? Not quite. But he may find himself pitching in the California Penal League before too long.

Well that was a fun look back at a more loveable bunch of Cleveland Indians, certainly not the hated bunch we will see tonight.

And please let's not bring up "Major League 2" or "Major League 3: Back to the Minors." That never happened.