Decision 2008: God, Hoagy, I'd've Died for You; or, Nicknaming Brandon Duckworth



Remember when I was going to post a nicknaming poll every week or so? I'm sure I don't have to tell you that didn't happen. Only morale boosting victories from earlier this summer prevented rioting in the streets of war-torn Grass Creek, Wyoming. Whether in peace or war, the voting will continue!

Ok, so I sort of got bored, busy, and short of ideas. But then, inspiration came in a very likely form: the triumphant return of Brandon Duckworth to Kaufman Stadium. Sure, after taking that sweet double-guns picture for the Royals critically acclaimed 2008 team calendar, he started the year in Omaha. A lesser man might have packed it in. Not Brandon Duckworth, though. When the Royals called last week, he was ready to accept the charges.

But why Duckworth? Well, why not Duckworth? Indeed, he's perfect for this nicknaming series that from the very beginning took aim at the gritty grinders who hold this team together: Virtual unknowns like Mike "Avilanche" Aviles, unheralded set-up guys like Ramon "Ram Ram" Ramirez, Fiery Team Leader Hoagy Manwich, Team Baby Inspector. OK, so Jose Guillen isn't exactly a grinder, but Duckworth's VORP just shot past him, and that's good enough to get him a post. That's right: Brandon Duckworth is a member of the Above Replacement Level Killas. For the moment, at least.

Of course, exactly what to nickname a man of Brandon Duckworth's caliber is another issue altogether. I could only think of one, in fact, and so this will be less of an "election" than a proposition vote: a yes or no matter. But the one nickname is so perfect, so wonderful and so fitting, I can't see how it won't work. Just think: who is the movie character who, like Duckworth, just wants to be a cool guy, part of the crowd. Who has just one love. A love that, like Duckworth, rejects him. A love who he still comes through for when he is needed the most. A love that ends up dumping him in the ditch anyway? That's right, I propose that Brandon Duckworth's nickname be:




So what say you, yea or nay?



This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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