Decision 2008: God, Hoagy, I'd've Died for You; or, Nicknaming Brandon Duckworth
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 12:08 PM EDT
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Remember when I was going to post a nicknaming poll every week or so? I'm sure I don't have to tell you that didn't happen. Only morale boosting victories from earlier this summer prevented rioting in the streets of war-torn Grass Creek, Wyoming. Whether in peace or war, the voting will continue!
Ok, so I sort of got bored, busy, and short of ideas. But then, inspiration came in a very likely form: the triumphant return of Brandon Duckworth to Kaufman Stadium. Sure, after taking that sweet double-guns picture for the Royals critically acclaimed 2008 team calendar, he started the year in Omaha. A lesser man might have packed it in. Not Brandon Duckworth, though. When the Royals called last week, he was ready to accept the charges.
But why Duckworth? Well, why not Duckworth? Indeed, he's perfect for this nicknaming series that from the very beginning took aim at the gritty grinders who hold this team together: Virtual unknowns like Mike "Avilanche" Aviles, unheralded set-up guys like Ramon "Ram Ram" Ramirez, Fiery Team Leader Hoagy Manwich, Team Baby Inspector. OK, so Jose Guillen isn't exactly a grinder, but Duckworth's VORP just shot past him, and that's good enough to get him a post. That's right: Brandon Duckworth is a member of the Above Replacement Level Killas. For the moment, at least.
Of course, exactly what to nickname a man of Brandon Duckworth's caliber is another issue altogether. I could only think of one, in fact, and so this will be less of an "election" than a proposition vote: a yes or no matter. But the one nickname is so perfect, so wonderful and so fitting, I can't see how it won't work. Just think: who is the movie character who, like Duckworth, just wants to be a cool guy, part of the crowd. Who has just one love. A love that, like Duckworth, rejects him. A love who he still comes through for when he is needed the most. A love that ends up dumping him in the ditch anyway? That's right, I propose that Brandon Duckworth's nickname be:
So what say you, yea or nay?
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Duckie's good
… but not that good.
Gary Busey is God.
D.C. Cab = one of the greatest performances ever.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 12:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Tell him you're Batman!
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 2:13 PM EDT up reply actions
You just broke the obscurity meter
Well done.
Do you remember that line, too?
I thought my friend Danny and I were the only ones who loved that movie. Busey’s thing about shaking up the bottle…just keep shaking it, and skahing it, then, Mr. T: “SHUT UP, DELL!!”
By FAR the best thing Bill Maher has ever been associated with.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions
There was a stretch in the 1980s when HBO showed "DC Cab" three times a day in the summer
(along with “Victory” and "Silverado"). I always thought that the movie got made only because the studio had the idea of putting all of the random actors it had under contract for one more movie into a single movie in order to satisfy its contractual obligations – I mean, how else do you explain a movie starring Busey, Maher, Mr. T, My Bodyguard, Wojo from Barney Miller, Irene Cara, Paul Rodriguez, and the Barbarian Brothers?
The Barbarian Brothers
Man, they were a riot. But who the hell were they? Were they juste 1980s “personages” a la the “Oi!” guy from the battery commercials? I don’t remember them, that that’s sort of my era.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 6:48 PM EDT up reply actions
Busey eats babies, I think
Anyway, I always thought his nickname was Ducky, spelled “Ducky”. But, hey, homynym…
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Duckworth doesn't deserve a nickname
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
-- Demetri Martin
AAAA
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Aug 25, 2008 12:56 PM EDT up reply actions
You are so ridiculously wrong
A mind without purpose will walk in dark places.
by NHZ on Aug 25, 2008 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
If Ducky was good enought for Buddy
it’s good enough for me.
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
I think its unfathomable
That its 2008 and Jon Cryer and Charlie Sheen have a hit TV show. I mean, do people actually like that show?
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
+1, but, sadly, yes
One of my wife’s co-workers and good friends REPEATEDLY tells my wife about how much she LOVES two and a Half Men. Then she starts by explaining the entire premise of the show in general, then on to specifics of the last episode that was SOOOO FUNNY.
This same friend also hates the office because it is “stupid” and “not funny.”
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 2:11 PM EDT up reply actions
The Producers of that show stumbled upon a secret and magical formula - take two actors who
appeared in any 1980’s John Hughes film, put them together, and no matter how stupid it is, there will be enough rubes who will be blinded by nostalgia and enjoy the hell out of it.
We always did feel the same, We just saw it from a different point of view, Tangled up in blue.
-Bob Dylan
by Royal Kingdom on Aug 25, 2008 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions
I always thought it would be more entertaining if it were about 2 guys
one of which was comically well-endowed
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Milton Berle and who else?
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 4:17 PM EDT up reply actions
There can be only one (and a half)
Or better, just make it a show about Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, and Nick Punto.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions
I prefer "Ducky"
…but that’s just nitpicking. Kind of like the difference between Hoagy and JoGui (I prefer the latter).
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
I like "Ducky" better, too
but when I looked up the Pretty in Pink stuff, it was the other way.
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 25, 2008 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Ducky just reminds me of Buddy Bell's habit of putting a "y" the end of
everyone’s name – why is it that baseball is the only game where grown men are called “Huddy” and “Ducky?” I’l stop there as I am getting sick to my stomach going back to those days.
My First Year
Of organized ball they tried calling me “Philly”, but thank god it didn’t stick.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Aug 26, 2008 10:45 AM EDT up reply actions
I would've called you "cheesesteak"
“Darryl Philbin. Then Regis, then Rege, then Roger, then Mister Rogers.”
OMG Banny. FWIW I am only crdtng u w/3 runs allwd bc of DDJ OMFG
by Matt Klaassen on Aug 26, 2008 11:12 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
northy? norther?
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
philler?
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
The Philinator! Philorama!
Every dog has its day, and that was Rob Schneider’s.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Aug 27, 2008 3:46 AM EDT up reply actions
your name is Flounder
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
that's better
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
hockey is also guilty of this
The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future. - Collected sayings of Muad'Dib
And football
…at least by coaches.
This is just my opinion. I could easily be wrong.
by Scott McKinney on Aug 25, 2008 6:01 PM EDT up reply actions
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