I had this thought while driving today. God help the other drivers that were near me when I had this idea. As everyone knows, a certain country will be holding a presidential election in the next two months. The candidates are about as different as can be, but I thought something else was afoot here that we, as Royals fans, can relate to. So here it is, your 2008 Election!!! (Put as a choice between leaders)
Representing the Republican Party
Did you know I've been a prisoner of baseball for several crappy teams my entire life?
Buddy Bell. Baseball man his entire life. His service to baseball is unquestioned. He came from a baseball family. His father Gus Bell was a major league outfielder and had an outfield...er...grandson named after him. Buddy, like all ambitious youngsters, had a rebel streak in him, largely due to the fact that his parents could not remember his name and, hence, called him Buddy (true according to Wikipedia). Buddy broke into MLB in 1972 as an outfielder but would become a fixture at 3b for the Indians, Rangers, Reds, and Astros. He was an all star in 1973, 1980, 1981, 1982, and 1984. He won Gold Gloves in 6 consecutive seasons from 1979 until 1984. He was an honorable man stuck as a prisoner to the communism that is bad baseball.
Remember Robin, Two Wallbangs for yes, One Wallbang for no...If I don't respond, that means I have died.
This track record would guide him in his task to lead our great (Royals)nation. With the experience and service necessary, Buddy will CHANGE what's wrong with the Royals by good old-fashioned know-how. He has fought for other organizations in their efforts to do things the RIGHT way (See Detroit and Colorado who have been in the World Series in the last decade). In this approach, he will use experienced players and coaches, emphasizing grit and batting average. Old baseball values of small-ball are his fixtures, along with innovative "bucking the trend" moves such as batting Shane Costa as the cleanup man. But above all, he is OLD. By making baseball first his entire life, he has proven his commitment to serving the game. BELL-BARNETT '08
He looks so....Presidential.
Representing the Democratic Party
Hope for a better tomorrow!
Trey Hillman is considered an outsider in many baseball circles. While he is a "baseball man" in the most liberal sense of the word, he would prefer to be known as a loyal Texan with the ability to build a team through fundamentals and competent play. Upon arrival in America in hopes of leading the Royals to success, Trey brought the optimism of the sabermetric universe to Royals fans. His candor and eloquence in referring to the importance of On-Base-Percentage is refreshing and new for this (Royals)nation. He believes in this important CHANGE, change which stat gurus can believe in. While there is considerable reason for hope and optimism concerning Trey Hillman, there are some drawbacks. Trey learned baseball by engaging himself with the evil Yankee political machine...er...minor league system. After this, Trey went abroad to refine his skills. In Japan, Trey's most notable accomplishments came with some shady characters.
Trey associated himself with an Iranian expert in PMD(pitches of mass destruction) in Yu Darvish and other societal castaways in Japan in leading their ragtag baseball army to Japan Series victory.
Are we to trust our nation to someone with ties to Iran? To someone with no MLB track record but eloquent and intelligent baseball speech? Are we to believe that a Japanese community organizer can lead a group of MLB egos and corrupt players to the promised land? That is for discussion, but the inspiration and admiration abroad should speak volumes for the faith the world will have in us if we elect Trey Hillman. Enough is enough, and the CHANGE we need is the youthful energy and charisma of Trey Hillman. HILLMAN-KUNTZ-'08
The face of tomorrow, of diversity, of style, and of CHANGE.
WRITER'S NOTE: This was written to show a couple things. First, that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Second, politics can be entertaining and very erroneously related to other cultural arenas. I know these are not the most accurate portrayals of McCain, Obama, Buddy, or Trey, but I think they represent a lot of similar things. In a funny way, I think it points out the whole futility of the whole process. Also, I am not THIS cynical in real life. This is supposed to be entertainment. So, please, go make an informed decision the best you can this November 4th, and don't listen to yahoos on TV, Radio, or me to tell you how to vote. God bless Royalsnation!