Apparently:

A-Rod and Tex didn't get along back in 2003 -- look out Yankees, 5-6 years ago these guys weren't best buds!

A-Rod and Jeter don't communicate well -- that probably explains all the horrible seasons they've had starting in 2003. Just look at their respective WARs:

Cap'n Jetes: 4.5, 4.1, 6.3, 2.9, 3.5

Cap'n Purple Lips: 6.4, 8.9, 4.8, 8.7, 6.1

Clearly, Jeter's slide into above-average hood has to do with this non-relationship with A-Rod, not at all with his slide into his mid-30s. A-Rod is clearly also soon to have a devastating fall into only the top 10 players in the game, rather than top 3. Big mistake, Ca$hmoney.

Also note that A-Rod turned the Sox down himself, which was pretty bad, given how much he obviously hated Tex and wanted out of that relationship.

Finally, in another display of giving us all the relevant facts not at all mixed with sour grapes (or a touch of misogyny), Gammons notes that this is all Mrs. Teixeira's fault: "...his wife doesn't like Boston -- apparently she doesn't like the stores on Newbury Street or something -- and in the end that's the way it goes," Gammons said.

Those crazy baseball wives and their shopping needs!

Pulitzer now