4 Cost-Free Moves For the Royals By Opening Day
by StonewallPDS on Oct 13, 2009 12:23 PM EDT
44 comments
My high school baseball coach used to say that if you look like a ball player, you will act like a ball player. His advice was sound, and I give him due credit for my being awarded the All-conference, second-base, "honorable mention", circa 1980. The award hangs on my wall with pride, I might add.
But enough about my Glory Days.
Here are four moves I think would help me feel better about the Royals by next Opening Day. Best of all, they would cost us nothing:
1. No more facial hair. Cut the beard patches. Eliminate the silly little Pizza-Boy-Delivery-Guy scruff. Everybody goes clean shaven for the entire year, and that would include Trey's pet muskrat too. I don't need to see another 4rth starter with a 5.96 ERA, and a 6-12 record, sporting his "bad boy" fu man chu ever again. Do you?
2. Take the names off the uniforms. So what if somebody says we are imitating the Yankees? Better to imitate the Yankees than the Bad News Bears, if you catch my drift.
3. Everybody wears their stirrups the same way--and high and tight at that, if it were my call. Let's all get on the same page with this thing. I can't stand that look of everybody's britches hanging down around their shoe-tops, and frankly, I haven't seen much in the way of results from that look over the past 15 years.
4. No more Hippie music for the hitters' introductions. I don't need to hear some .212 hitter blasting Guns N Roses on his way to the plate, only to see another weak grounder to second base. Too embarrassing. If some music is necessary, let it be a sad Puccini aria, since after a MIggy or St. Willie at bat, most everybody wants to cry anyway. Otherwise, just turn the music off already.
Am I missing anything here? Let's get the ideas flowing.
Update: here is the Puccini aria I have in mind: poor Pavavotti looks like we all looked after the Yuni trade, especially if you watch until the very end.
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Everybody wears their stirrups the same way
This is the policy in the low minors.
GnR is hippie music?
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Oct 13, 2009 12:33 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
thats what i was thinking about GNR
Fire Everyone
by billybeingbilly on Oct 13, 2009 1:34 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
no
GnR is definitely not hippie music. I wonder what taste in music leads to that view.
by Salty on Oct 13, 2009 3:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
They have long hair?
I used to work with an old man that told me. Son, every workplace has a dumbass, if you don't have one where you work, then I'm afraid you're it.
by Warden11 on Oct 13, 2009 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
He is a fan of the "death metal"
So they are pretty pansy assed compared to that. Damn hippies.
by AxDxMx on Oct 13, 2009 11:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
The ballplayers shouldn't smile on the field.
It shows weakness. Furthermore, should we encourage people to compare these modern players to the likes of Frank White and George Brett, players who were known for smiling on the field?
Pecota, watch over us.
by castille on Oct 13, 2009 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
SHAVE THOSE SIDEBURNS MATTINGLY!!!!
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Oct 13, 2009 1:21 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
was about to post the same thing
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Oct 13, 2009 3:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Mike Jacobs coming to bat to the sound of
“Due cose potrei far” would be seriously awesome.
by 2X2L on Oct 13, 2009 1:22 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
“Three true outcomes”, see, but fewer.
Hey, I made an effort, anyway. It’s even Puccini.
Two things I could do: go back
To entertaining people with songs,
Or, better, die.
by 2X2L on Oct 13, 2009 8:33 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Longtime Lurker, First Time Poster
I can’t believe this is the first post I’m going to respond to, but…
This may be one of the craziest posts I have ever read. Let’s not just lose, let’s make our players miserable by putting a bunch of juvenile restrictions on what they can/can’t do!
This has to be a facetious post, right?
No disrespect to your coach (congratulations on being all conference), but high school and pro leagues have different objectives, in my opinion.
by Dadunca on Oct 13, 2009 1:49 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
welcome... hope to see you posting more
by royalsreview on Oct 13, 2009 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Let’s not just lose, let’s make our players miserable by putting a bunch of juvenile restrictions on what they can/can’t do!
Its working for Todd Haley!!!
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Oct 13, 2009 2:17 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
the yankees players look soooooooo miserable on TV...
Fire Everyone
by billybeingbilly on Oct 13, 2009 3:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
welcome!
Thanks for the kudos about my All Conference achievements. I was playing with grit before it was cool to do so, I’ll tell you!
The post is actually meant to be mostly tongue-in-cheek, with some kernels of reality thrown in. I really don’t think Guns N Roses is Hippie music, for instance…
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Oct 13, 2009 3:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I kind of thought so.
Sadly, I could see someone making those comments for real.
I actually in favor of removing the names from the backs of the jerserys. I’m sure there are a lot of players who want to remain anonymous.
by Dadunca on Oct 13, 2009 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
here's an idea...
no individual songs except for a few players each game
all other players will get snippets of one continuous song
by royalsreview on Oct 13, 2009 1:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
how about
if you can OPS north of .750 you can get your own song
Blank
by benfunke on Oct 13, 2009 2:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
and
for the “all other players will get snippets of one continuous song” – how about “Loser” by Beck (or would that be too cool for them)?
Tension is the enemy. - Charlie Lau
by aHorseWithNoName on Oct 13, 2009 3:35 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I definitely support Stonewall's sad opera suggestion
Those three games after the break against the Rays where we lost them all in exactly the same way… that could have been an opera.
“Loser” is way too cool.
by Soria's Unibrow on Oct 14, 2009 3:58 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
if you combine Puccini and Yuni
the K might simply be filled with mass weeping. Could be interesting. Kind of like one of those mass weddings in South Korea.
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Oct 14, 2009 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Your jersey must be dirty by the 5th inning
Or you are pulled, you obviously are not hustling enough.
by kcbottom9th on Oct 13, 2009 2:03 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
That's why George Brett always crapped his pants before the game even started
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Oct 13, 2009 3:08 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Paper bags....
All players batting below ,250 would be forced to wear paper bags over their heads. Maybe that would improve YUNI’s fielding. As far as songs go…. I think “send in the clowns” would be good for most of the team. Maybe the fat lady should sing before the first game and be done with the season. I am not expecting much for 2010.
by grudz96 on Oct 13, 2009 2:16 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
this is fun thanks for the post
I do understand that placing ‘restrictions’ on players at this level may or may not work all too well, but I also understand what I believe Stonewall is getting at. If you look like a team, you play like a team.
At this point next year if I see a team helping each other (hustling) every step of the way, that would be an improvement than this year regardless of record.
In stead of restrictions how about the, Office Space Chachskis (spell?) method. Do you want to express yourself? Do you want to play for the Royals? How about no facial hair?
Sponsor of the Will Ebner Physical Therapy Center for Players Who've Been Hit By Will Ebner and Want to Try to Stop the Ringing. Or WEPTCPWBHBWEWTSR for short.
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Oct 13, 2009 2:34 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Chotchkie's
According to Wikipedia – I was bored so I looked it up.
Tension is the enemy. - Charlie Lau
by aHorseWithNoName on Oct 13, 2009 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
my real point is...
we’re stuck with this squad more or less, and there’s not much that can be done about it substantively, so why not dick around with cost-free moves that may or may not make sense.
If I had to go with 2 moves, I say cut the bad facial hair and kill the music.
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Oct 13, 2009 3:06 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Why not eat breakfast and lunch? And lunch at breakfast?
Let’s get nuts!
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Oct 13, 2009 3:45 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
by the way
I just like the no-name uniforms for aesthetic reasons, not for any “we’re all subordianted to the team” or whatever. I like the simplicity.
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Oct 13, 2009 3:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
you wanna drop the numbers too?
why not go real old school?
Fire Everyone
by billybeingbilly on Oct 13, 2009 3:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
either that, or make them match the batting order
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Oct 13, 2009 4:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You would give up these classic jerseys?
by BrRoyal on Oct 13, 2009 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Agreed
Without the names on the uniforms, I wouldn’t have been able to post this classic FanShot.
Chaim Mattis Keller New York City's # 1 Royals fan!
by cmkeller on Oct 13, 2009 4:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Pretty sure that's Minky in a Dodgers jersey
That isn’t fair to Dougie.
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Oct 13, 2009 8:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
All that... and getting better players
and we’d have a better team!
(see, I was going for the “Those thoughts and $3.50 get you a cup of coffee” sort of thing, but… never mind)
by sterlingice on Oct 13, 2009 3:42 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
by the way Sterling
It has not escaped me that your moniker is, like mine, a reference to a famous Civil War General. Were you aware that there are descendants of General Price in the KC area?
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Oct 14, 2009 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I live very close to a Price monument here in Jeff City
It is on a hill that would have, at the time, overlooked the Mo River, but was outside the city limits back then.
The story is that Price and his men camped there while contemplating an attack on the capitol. Supposedly, after deciding he would be outnumbered, he marched on to KC instead, where the battle of Westport would take place, thus sparing much damage to JC.
Mr Glass, this is a pro sports team, not a retail store - run it like one!
by loyal2sdad on Oct 14, 2009 1:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I've toured the Battle of Westport sites
They are not as interesting as they sound…
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Oct 14, 2009 3:19 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
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