My high school baseball coach used to say that if you look like a ball player, you will act like a ball player. His advice was sound, and I give him due credit for my being awarded the All-conference, second-base, "honorable mention", circa 1980. The award hangs on my wall with pride, I might add.
But enough about my Glory Days.
Here are four moves I think would help me feel better about the Royals by next Opening Day. Best of all, they would cost us nothing:
1. No more facial hair. Cut the beard patches. Eliminate the silly little Pizza-Boy-Delivery-Guy scruff. Everybody goes clean shaven for the entire year, and that would include Trey's pet muskrat too. I don't need to see another 4rth starter with a 5.96 ERA, and a 6-12 record, sporting his "bad boy" fu man chu ever again. Do you?
2. Take the names off the uniforms. So what if somebody says we are imitating the Yankees? Better to imitate the Yankees than the Bad News Bears, if you catch my drift.
3. Everybody wears their stirrups the same way--and high and tight at that, if it were my call. Let's all get on the same page with this thing. I can't stand that look of everybody's britches hanging down around their shoe-tops, and frankly, I haven't seen much in the way of results from that look over the past 15 years.
4. No more Hippie music for the hitters' introductions. I don't need to hear some .212 hitter blasting Guns N Roses on his way to the plate, only to see another weak grounder to second base. Too embarrassing. If some music is necessary, let it be a sad Puccini aria, since after a MIggy or St. Willie at bat, most everybody wants to cry anyway. Otherwise, just turn the music off already.
Am I missing anything here? Let's get the ideas flowing.
Update: here is the Puccini aria I have in mind: poor Pavavotti looks like we all looked after the Yuni trade, especially if you watch until the very end.