Exclusive: Reactions to Kendall signing
by Home Run Tony Cogan on Dec 13, 2009 2:51 PM EST
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PrintHRTC: "Hey honey, did you hear that the Royals signed Jason Kendall?"
Mrs. C: "Wait, didn't he already play for us?"
HRTC (racking brain trying to think of connection; perhaps somehow she knows that Fred Kendall was our bullpen catcher or something like that? No, way to obscure for her): "No, he's never played for us".
Mrs. C: "Yeah, he has that porn star mustache."
HRTC (somewhat incredulous): "Do you mean Jason LaRue?"
Mrs. C: "Yeah, that's who I was thinking of."
HRTC: " No, not him."
Mrs. C (long pause): "Oh...Jason Kendall. Isn't he really old?"
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Short and sweet
okay, not sweet, but brilliant
If Poz doesn’t want to run the Royals, I nominate Mrs. C.
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at FanGraphs.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
Royals haiku
The Royals will play
Like what I scraped off my shoe
On the curb today
José Guillén won’t
Be accused of bat corking
Because he can’t hit
Slick Willie Bloomquist
Can play seven positions
All of them badly
I hope Kyle Farnsworth’s
Right testicle descends so
Far that he can’t pitch
Zack Greinke will go
Eleven and twenty-one
With three hundred K’s
Black Jack Soria
Will take the mound in the eighth
Fewer than three times
Jason Kendall can’t
Hit, run, throw, or get on base
Of course, we signed him
The Royals are a
farm team for the Mariners
And for Atlanta
Dayton Moore couldn’t
Beat a special-ed student
At Strat-O-Matic
It's pronounced Poo-ZHOLS in Catalan.
by Juancho on Dec 14, 2009 7:13 AM EST reply actions 2 recs
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