Master Sleuth and Really Smart Guy John Bale was Surprisingly Wrong About Alex Rodriguez Not Having a Cousin

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 2:06 PM EST in News Comment 22 comments

Of course, as widely reported earlier, noted logical whiz and brilliant legal mind John Bale, went public with his doubts:

"I wonder if his cousin even existed?" Bale wondered. "That was my first thought...

"That was classic Bale," said a Supreme Court clerk who wished to remain anonymous, "he sees things in a fact pattern that most people miss. Whenever someone asks a question that completely changes the parameters of a discussion, we call it 'The Bale Moment.'"

"Although this looks to be the rare case in which Bale was wrong, his insight was so utterly profound that I think it's safe to say he advanced the discussion. While everyone else was giving Alex a one hundred percent benefit of the doubt, here was one brave Bale standing up and speaking truth to power."

Bale, considered one of the brightest minds in sports today, typically spends the majority of his free time volunteering at legal aid clinics, composing amicus briefs regarding the nation's most important trials, and helping local police departments solve crimes.

Bale follows in a long tradition of attendees of Jefferson Davis Community College who have distinguished themselves on both a national and international stage, for during his time in Japan Bale was a top advisor to the Japanese Prime Minister.

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I'm stunned, STUNNED that an offhand comment by John Bale about Alex Rodriguez

would turn you against him

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 2:08 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

i mean, its John Bale

sure, there were self-serving comments by about 100 jocks, but many of them aren’t marginal guys who seem legitimately stupid

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 2:12 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

well, he's young and naive

he’s only 34. He was stupid. Unlike A-Rod, he made a good decision to go to college (University of Southern Missippi, whose Southern Wind Ensemble is apparently very good). Still, he was naive and stupid, stupid and young, young and naive. No word on if he dressed as Seymour d’Campus or not while at USM:

He’s had a rough year, between breaking his hand, getting non-tendered by the Royals (then resigned), A-Rod’s divorce, and now mlb.com reporters ~~stalking~~ interviewing him for dumb quotes like this, when he’s obviously stupid and naive.

As for Seymour….

…..

…

(drinks water)

….

He’s no Rocky The Bull

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 2:23 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

and he married a sister of a guy who plays in the NHL

which could be seen as fairly risky

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 2:24 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

wonder if that comes out of this Toronto years

Man, he’s really been around forever.

OT: Can we make Rocky the Unofficial Mascot of RR?

Actually, I think his full name is (get this): Rocky D. Bull

It’s the least we can do for The One Who Explodes, and Who Also Hopefully Gets Waived

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 2:27 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

(Or Gets DFAed, whichever is better)

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 2:28 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

each picture just gets creepier

id like to see the rest of that blonde in the picture and the look on her face

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 2:29 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Noted Royals Review director

defends Alex Rodriguez yet again.

I’m sure Alex was telling the truth about not dating Madonna too. The guy seems totally credible and trustworthy to me.

I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.

by kcscoliny on Feb 20, 2009 2:10 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

sure

but the idea that he would lie about the most verifiable element of the story is crazy

then again, he did PEDs, so he’s capable of anything… where was Bonds when Jon Benet died? that’s my question

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 2:18 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

OK, I'll admit that is a pretty funny thing, taken on its own, for Bale to say

Still wonder what was stupider — for Bale to ask that, for for A-Rod not just to say (I didn’t split the infinitive, hooray for me!) “a friend of mine” or “a guy I knew?”

It’s all like a car crash that I have to rubberneck at.

Shouldn’t we be ripping David Ortiz rather than Bale, who still rules, right?

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 2:25 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

or really selig

but i’m so beaten down on selig

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 2:30 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

that's why I picked Ortiz

here’s a guy who publicly bitches about anything he feels like doesn’t go his way. 2006 MVP, because, you know, Jeter was totally gonna get that unfairly, not some slugger getting RBIzzzz, remember that, how Jeter ended up winning despite his super-overrated year? And now the steroids thing. Wonder if Ortiz is on a “list” somewhere. I’m guessing he has some cousins in the Dominican. Need to verify with Bale.

So sick of Selig. JoPo put it well (as usual)

remarkably, I don’t think A-Rod was the most ridiculous sounding person of the week. That would be baseball commissioner Bud Selig, who apparently has decided to go on a campaign to convince people he is, more or less, the only person you cannot blame for the steroid mess that happened when he was in charge. Well, hey, it’s bold. It’s a bit like Mike Myers saying he should not be blamed for The Love Guru.

When did I become one of those people who omits the subject from the sentence? Must have happened recently. Don’t know.

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 2:36 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

i don't know why

but whenever i see a picture of selig, i think for a minute it’s bill gates’, older, halfwitted brother

by marbotty on Feb 20, 2009 5:44 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

Let me pause as I take a drink of my water with a smug grin.

Now that I’ve done that I will just say I was young and stupid and my cousin who was pretty much my bitch boy came to me and said lets pump our veins full of this sweet juice I found in the Dominican.

It was pretty obvious that Bale was commenting more on ARods ability to tell the truth as a whole rather than the small fact that ARod had a cousin. But maybe I’m wrong, Bale is just another idiot athlete.

I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.

by kcscoliny on Feb 20, 2009 3:06 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

i don't see where you are getting that from what Bale said

not saying it isn’t possible, just saying I don’t see it

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 3:23 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

He is basically stating that he doesn't think the cousin existed

meaning Alex is just telling another lie. I’m sure Bale wasn’t questioning Alex family heritage stating that he had no relatives.

I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.

by kcscoliny on Feb 20, 2009 3:45 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

That door had it coming...

Now Coco Crisp of Crisp, Crackle & Pop LLP I trust.

by Official Arrowhead Pride Parade on Feb 20, 2009 2:24 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

In fairness to Bale...

I don’t believe there was even a hint of a “cousin” mentioned in the lengthy sit-down the previous week with Gammons (unless the cousin’s initials are GNC). A-Rod’s story at the press conference was almost completely different from what he had told Gammons. Then A-Rod refused to identify the cousin and went on at length with a preposterous story of simply being “young and stupid” (at age 26+), not being sure whether what he was doing (for three years) actually worked or not, etc. To me, nothing he said at the press conference came across as very credible, particularly given his previous denials/lies, so I can definitely see how someone would wonder if the unnamed cousin actually existed or was simply created as a convenience.

by cookierojas73 on Feb 20, 2009 5:24 PM EST reply actions 0 recs

but again

cousins are easy to verify/fact-check

I know he’s an evil PEDs user, but to lie about a fictitious cousin just seems really stupid… he could have said friend, which would have been much more ambiguous

also: Larry Bigbie is a weird guy

by royalsreview on Feb 20, 2009 5:58 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs

I agree with you that A-Rod isn't evil, and that Bales' statement is pretty silly, now

but I wouldn’t put anything “really stupid” past A-Rod at this point. that’s not a moral judgment, or a comment on his use of PEDs. The guy just makes dumb decisions. A lot.

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by devil_fingers on Feb 20, 2009 10:59 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs