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KC / Omaha Cheeseburger Crisis

Two vital Midwest cities face an unprecedented threat.  It may be that Billy Butler and Sidney Ponson split their devastating appetites between the two cities.  However, citizens of Omaha and Kansas City must brace for the previously unthinkable.  At any time, both players could be assigned to the major or minor league roster.  We are moments away from a beef and cheese catastrophe.  Many experts are arguing that bacon will be just as strongly affected.

If you live in the KC or Omaha area, use this tool to predict where you can go if you need to obtain cheeseburgers:

http://www.carloslabs.com/projects/200712B/GroundZero.html

Type in "Kansas City, MO" (or "Omaha, NE") and press Search.  From the drop-down menu in the lower left, select "Mk28" 1.4mt, and press "Nuke it" at the bottom.

Here is the meaning of the radii, from the center outward:

1. No cheeseburgers to be found at all; peripheral junk food supply is also devastated.

2. Cheeseburgers may be found in the early morning, and only at establishments recently receiving shipments.

3. Reserve cheeseburger supplies make location of cheeseburgers in this area more likely.

4. Cheeseburgers are likely to be found in this area, though rolling outages may occur in linear patterns as the two players make their meal runs.

Outside the radius, cheeseburger service will only be impacted by other refugees fleeing the crisis zone to seek cheeseburgers.  Watch out for increased traffic and meal wait times as you approach the crisis zone.

In the event of a crisis, we have no idea how long it will last.  Already, the cheeseburger market is being affected by worried citizens moving to stockpile cheeseburgers at home.  Hot dog and Bon Bon vendors are also expressing worry.

Pray we make it through both contracts.  And if Runelvys makes a return... God help us all.

13 recs  |  Comment 33 comments

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Rec'd.

If you look at the Omaha schedule, there is an extremely long road trip in July, and i had wondered what the reason was for it. Now, I understand that it was a preparedness maneuver. Thank God somebody had that kind of foresight.

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Mar 17, 2009 8:23 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

isn't that some sort of conflict of interest rec?

Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.

by devil_fingers on Mar 17, 2009 11:49 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Maybe, but I don't feel bad because

two other people rec’d it too.

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Mar 17, 2009 11:58 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

right, but probably your two other "brothers" who don't really exist

or one brother and Joel Peralta

Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.

by devil_fingers on Mar 18, 2009 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

ouch

I’m laying low on this one and didn’t say a word.

The General Theory of Royaltivity

by kabrink on Mar 18, 2009 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Now there are 5 recs

and I know I don’t have that many brothers – real or imagined.

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Mar 18, 2009 1:16 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just get Steve Perry's login info,

and rec it under his name.

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Mar 18, 2009 2:55 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

just rec'd it

6

Founder of the Johnny Giavotella fan club.

by doublestix on Mar 18, 2009 4:50 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I red'ed it also.

It made me smile. And Minda is the good sort.

I was pleased to see that Lawrence would be spared. Although we have different but similar concerns here regarding cheese burger control.

That was kinda mean. Mark is a nice guy.

www.rockchalktalk.com for pretty good KU baseball coverage

by James Quinn on Mar 18, 2009 12:28 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

mcsweeperton doesn't have thumbs

and therefore couldn’t have rec’d

by marbotty on Mar 18, 2009 9:49 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I know you were first though.

Kansas City Royals: your 2006 and 2007 NL Central champions!

by mazoboom on Mar 18, 2009 5:25 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

OK...so the real question here is this:

I live in Kansas City (on the East side). I have for several years now. Where do I find the best burgers in town? Seriously!

I have had several places suggested to me:
Westport Flea Market has been very hit or miss for me, more miss than hit.
Johnny’s Tavern in Shawnee is pretty good, but not worth the 30+ minute drive for me.

For someone who likes fat, juicy hamburgers that just melt in your mouth…these will not work.

Is Hayes Hamburger’s and Chili worth a trip? What about Town Topic? Is it more of a late night after a long night drinking place? Plus, I know TT’s burgers are tiny like White Castle’s (almost.) The Blue Moose would be like Johnny’s as far as drive time for me, but I’ll try it if it’s truly the best.

Help please,
stlfan

P.S. – I don’t count chain places like Hi Boy, Fuddrucker’s, Hardee’s, Winstead’s, Steak’n’shake, etc.

by stlfan on Mar 18, 2009 10:16 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Another solid drive for you...

but you should give LC’s Hamburgers a try. Hayes-like atmosphere (small little shack that’s been there forever), but not quite as purely greasy as Hayes.

Town Topic is pretty good, and I would rank them second in the “Been There Forever Little Shack” category. My personal #1 is LC’s, and even though I live downtown, if I want what I consider the best burger, I bypass Town Topic and head north to LC’s.

"Now…put that in your [BLEEP]ing pipe and smoke it." -Hal McRae

by Sweep_the_Leg on Mar 18, 2009 10:35 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Long drive also, but try the Longbranch...

We always did feel the same, We just saw it from a different point of view, Tangled up in blue.
-Bob Dylan

by Royal Kingdom on Mar 18, 2009 5:01 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yeah, the Longbranch

I miss it.

The General Theory of Royaltivity

by kabrink on Mar 19, 2009 12:13 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Personally

I’m a fan of Five guys

FKA "MileHighKCfan"

by JSouth on Mar 19, 2009 1:08 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Five guys

is a national chain? I’ve only ever seen it in Balt/Wash

"You know what, I mean I cried in bed for a while, moaning 'Why!? Why did this have to happen?'"

Zack Greinke on the Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston split

by DCRoyals on Mar 19, 2009 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

They must have more guys than that.

The General Theory of Royaltivity

by kabrink on Mar 19, 2009 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Yes

They have one in Lee’s Summit and one in Overland Park or Olathe on the Kansas side.

FKA "MileHighKCfan"

by JSouth on Mar 20, 2009 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

they've blown up

i was interested in buying stock a few year back, but they are still privately held.

by marbotty on Mar 20, 2009 7:38 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Holy crap!

10 well-deserved rec’s. I’m kind of hoping that Butler gets sent to Omaha, just to see how the good folks band together to cope. The Great Storm of 2008 provided a great rehearsal for the level of neighborly cooperation we’ll all need to weather this crisis.

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Mar 18, 2009 6:04 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

C'mon

Butler only eats tofu burgers nowadays.

The General Theory of Royaltivity

by kabrink on Mar 18, 2009 7:33 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Even if the only meat he eats is Zebra (cakes),

the food supply in the two cities is still in danger.

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Mar 18, 2009 9:40 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Sigh

FEMA officials just came by and confiscated my Big Pack of Oatmeal Creme Pies.

by Porcus on Mar 19, 2009 3:42 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

The man just trying to keep you down

Jayhawk baseball - a tradition since Steve Jeltz

by JayhawkTom on Mar 19, 2009 9:40 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

+1 Wicked

as is this entire post and thread.

by Porcus on Mar 20, 2009 12:09 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Rec'd

Good read, made me hungry.

by Steve Perry on Mar 31, 2009 12:02 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

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