The Astros are 1-14-3 (do you put ties at the end?) this Spring Training. That's right, they have one win, fourteen loses, and three ties. Can we contract the National League to like eight franchises? We might get some good teams that way.

Seriously, one win, which includes split squad games, games where thirty players get at bats, games where some slub from AA pitches three innings. One win. It's more impressive than futile.

I blame their failure to bring back beloved catcher Brad Ausmus. He was worth roughly eight runs a game with his defense and game calling, and another two with his veteran presence. He was the Babe Ruth of guys with an OPS+ below 65. You can win a lot of games with Brad Ausmus on your team, just ask 95% of broadcasters, talk radio guys, and, sadly, managers.

I hope they keep losing. I'm bored. It wouldn't be a bad thing if they went 3-25-5 this spring, then were their normal 79 win selves this season, as we could all put to bed the notion that your record in Spring Training matters. Or, we could read five Richard Justice, Jon Heyman, or Hal Bodley columns about how they've turned it around, probably thanks to Pudge. Either way, the people win.