Addition by Subtraction, Gload Edition
Oh my God. While there is a fanshot about this, there is no way that is enough to explain the satisfaction most of us must be feeling here at RoyalsReview. No more IchiGload, Gload will explode, any of that nonsense. The dude sucked (have we established that?) and is gone. When I first heard, I hoped we would have gotten some peanuts back.
via freshpeel.com
In baseball terms, we did. The PLAYER TO BE NAMED LATER, one of the oddest events in sports involves a trade with THAT guy. To be fair to Ross, he was classy, gritty, and hustled, redundancy almost necessary there.
Did I mention he was gritty?
Among his highlights as a Royal:
via www1.pictures.gi.zimbio.com
This picture, when he displayed more power potential than at any time in his professional career.
Or when...
The time he summed up the feeling of an entire fanbase.
Or...
Only 78 strikeouts in 2 years!!! Wow, he must have really been a hitter with a keen eye...(only 39 walks)...708 AB in those 2 years*
But at least he was a good teammate...
via www.cbc.ca
Except for that time he nearly ended Grudzielanek's career w/ a recklessly inappropriate slide, taking out most of Grudzielanek's leg bones in the process.
All in all Ross, you're a lot like Ross from friends. You were THAT guy, and I never liked you.
1 recs |
19 comments
Comments
nearly ended
???? nearly? really?
The General Theory of Royaltivity
by kabrink on Apr 1, 2009 3:16 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Apr 1, 2009 3:20 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Joel Probably Will
Need to change his underwear after he hears about this.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Apr 1, 2009 3:25 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Loyal2 was with me at the notorious Grud wipeout game
She was cursing like a sailor all the way home. I nearly had to have the car detailed after she was thru – she was that angry.
Mr Glass, this is a pro sports team, not a retail store - run it like one!
by loyal2sdad on Apr 1, 2009 3:26 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
ohhhh
don’t even get me THINKING about that again. Brings my blood to a boil…
Listen to the MUSTN'Ts, child Listen to the DON'Ts Listen to the SHOULDN'Ts, The IMPOSSIBLEs, the WON'Ts Listen to the NEVER HAVEs Then listen close to me-- Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be --Shel Silverstein
by loyal2theroyals on Apr 2, 2009 2:02 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
A sad day down South...

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by devil_fingers on Apr 1, 2009 3:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
what's with that picture?
Is he throwing up? I missed that.
The General Theory of Royaltivity
by kabrink on Apr 1, 2009 4:02 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I assume
the Ponson and Ramirez additions are forth coming???
by lordbyronk on Apr 1, 2009 4:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Quite a day
The pitching news was bad, but not unexpected at this point. The Gload news was a very pleasant surprise. Joel, I wish you well. And Marlins fans, good luck.
The immoderate moderator
by NYRoyal on Apr 1, 2009 7:29 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Any way we can get Joel to come back for one more farewell post?
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by devil_fingers on Apr 1, 2009 9:31 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
be careful what you wish for...
"Things could always be worse." - Buddy Bell
by buddyball on Apr 1, 2009 11:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I actually sent him an e-mail inviting him back for a Rossy farewell post
The immoderate moderator
by NYRoyal on Apr 1, 2009 11:56 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
It'll Be A
Rope.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Apr 2, 2009 1:21 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I have never
In all my years of watching baseball seen a dead pull hitter with less power. For the first 3 months of last year he couldn’t hit a ball left of second base. It was like Rey Sanchez except hitting lefty.
Ross did have the Grit. I could never fault his effort, but it is no substitute for skill.
This is addition by subtraction, and many of the moves up to respectability will be just that- replacing someone who sucks with someone who does not-or at least sucks less.
by KHAZAD on Apr 2, 2009 2:40 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I should have said that this will be a great day in Florida
golden boy returns home!
Do you think G-LOAD is in the USF Hall of Fame?
Quoting oneself is obnoxious, but I’m sure everyone already find me obnoxious, so I’d like to record the following (and it won’t be the last time, so get used to it) as a tribute, no to G-LOAD, but to Joel. I’m afriad, as Clemenza said to Sonny, “We won’t be seeing him no more.” From an awesome thread started by timlacy early last season (although he didn’t enjoy my contribution. Probably not as clever as Molly Ivin’s awesomely well-thought out and devasting nicknames and stolen jokes) re: Soria and starting (which came up again). My comment — to Joel/jmoney/stevephillips42, wherever you are:
D-I batboys, the gift that keeps on giving
I don’t personally know any of them.
However, with my years of reading the works of L. Ron Hoover of the Church of Appliantology, I decided to do an exercise to figure out a new winning strategy for the Royals by tapping this under-utilized source of wisdom.
After subsisting on low-protein gruel all morning, I emerged from my mother’s basement to sit in the sauna (closed the bathroom door, put a towel over the crack, cranked up the shower as hot as it would go. Sat on the toilet [low-protein gruel has a lot of fibre]), and exteriorized.
I was 3 feet back of my head, then I was floating. I began to fly. Through the walls I went. I was like Horatio Caine without the sunglasses, speeding to where I could get the information I needed. After a quick stop at Hemet, CA, I tripled the speed of sound on my way to South Florida. From far above, I spotted a swampy baseball diamond. Lighting there, I spotted the wise man from whom I would gain the knowledge I needed. The older man in the manager’s uniform—he was standing between my disembodied self and the person with whom I needed to speak.
Yes, it was the young man who had the knowledge I needed. His arms were bearing a pair of bats in one hand, a bag of balls in the other. His face was clear and pale (when not spray-tanned, I gathered), yet when he turned around, I could see what appeared to be scores of pimples through his greasy white practice jersey. Why did a batboy need a practice jersey? I had no time to to ponder such questions, however, as my energy for exteriorization was running low. I know not how he sensed by presence.
"Greetings, traveller," he drawled. "I gots here the knowledge you seek."
"You wanna maximize yer pitching talent, right? Well, you gotta tell Moore to stop screwing with yer ‘pen. He’s goin’ backwards. In fact, I thunk it over and I came up with a strategery that will gay-run-tee the Royals will shut the other guys down. Mock it up yourself. If having a real shut-down closer makes the game eight innings, wouldna shut-down set-up guy make it a seven inning game? That what you there had when Zack was setting up for Sora. Let’s carry that reasonin’ out to its logical whatfor. Why not have Meche pitch the seventh? And when Hooch is well-done, he can pitch the sixth! I don’t trust that Bannister fella. He may play the game, but with all the textin’ that fat lil’ fella and the numbers and the nerds in the blogs, I’d trade him fast to free up money what for to re-sign a good defensive first baseman to a big extension. But think about it: Hooch, Meche, Greinke, Soria. That four innings of shut-down relief! I’m not even sure I could hit a rope one out of every six times agin’ those dudes! All you gots to do is get some starters, it doesn’t matter where. John Bale, Kyle Davies, they’ll prolly do. They just needs to go five! And who cares about those parts the game. The closer to the end, the more valuble they is. And you wastin’ ‘em in the beginning of the game! Get those worthless innins’ down to five, and you can gay-run-tee the boys will be dominatin’ like the 1996 Yanks in no time. Hoo-wee!"
I had so many more questions. How would I ever transmit this wisdom to the blog world? Would anyone believe me? After all, although I talked to someone who had played the game a little bit at some point, I had not. As I faded, I faintly heard my interlocutor shouting "….will explode!!! 1111!!!" (That’s right, I heard the 1s.)
It was dark. Three feet back. I was in my body, re-awakening to my limited, meat body. And then I heard a beautiful, shrieking voice.
It was my mother.
"Devil _. Fingers! You in the bathroom AGAIN, boy? I’m here watchin’ my stories and you either on that computer box downstairs or in this bathroom again. You better not be usin’ my nice towels. I know what you do in there!"
I was home.
Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.
by devil_fingers on Apr 2, 2009 2:53 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Kudos. Some of your best work.
Before Dayton Moore made you bitter and jaded. ;)
The immoderate moderator
by NYRoyal on Apr 2, 2009 2:58 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
well, it was a combination of Moore, Fangraphs, and the Book Blog
knowledge is powder
Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.
by devil_fingers on Apr 2, 2009 3:04 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
keep the powder dry
….and non-sticky
The General Theory of Royaltivity
by kabrink on Apr 2, 2009 11:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs




















