It's not even May and you're already down on Willie Ballgame?

It's hard to find someone who can slug .285 over a full season and be a non-entity at seven different positions. No really, it is. Crimony, does anyone else have a player like that?

Naw, just you. That's how lucky the Royals are. But I've already had the pleasure of watching Willie Grass Stains for several years and I'm ready to share that pleasure with my home away from home: Kansas City. That just feels like the fair thing to do. In fact, it's more than fair. It's right!

His page on Baseball Reference says this:

Hall Of Fame Statistics Player rank in (·) Hall of Fame Standards Batting - 1 (3892), Average HOFer ≈ 50

This is so unfair. You'll never appreciate what Willie Boom-Boom brings by using these biased, prevaricating statistical measurements. Enjoy Willie Thunderstick dammit! For when he's gone, you may not see another like him in your lifetime. BTW, just think of all he can do for you in the Battle for Grass Creek.