American Gloadiators: A fan club turns its broken hearts to you

by andrewmiller on Apr 2, 2009 11:42 AM EDT

In some quarters, the trade of Ross Gload to the Florida Marlins brought jubilation. But it was devastating news for the locally based Ross Gload fan club American Gloadiators, co-chaired by Joel Prado (me) and Alias To Be Named Later (my boss Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka). We are preparing a Something Awful.com front-page retrospective about Ross Gload, and I wanted to reach out to anyone at Royals Review who might be artistically inclined. Artwork we could really use includes:

* Drawings of Ross Gload that display a "child's rendering of his idol" aesthetic

* Any Photoshop alterings that present Ross Gload in a favorable, heroic light.

* The catch phrase "Gload will explode" presents many possibilities.

The piece is tentatively scheduled to run two weeks from today -- we were waiting to see where Gloadie ended up before starting the writing process. Anyone who's interested, please post your JPEGs in this thread and/or send them to garbageday@somethingawful.com. Not only will you be credited at the bottom of the article, but also you can know you've done your part to educate a befuddled public about Gload's hidden greatness -- the things that "don't show up in the box score".

Tweet Comment 16 comments | 2 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

gloads ability to do things that don't show up in the box score is unprecedented

so much so that he’s still going to help the royals win

he’s that good

by Freneau on Apr 2, 2009 1:14 PM EDT reply actions

Good news everybody!

I have been in contact with Joel by e-mail (very amiably, I might add) and he says he plans to come back to RR sometime in the next day or two to post something regarding former Royal, Ross Gload.

The immoderate moderator

by Scott McKinney on Apr 2, 2009 1:25 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

I'll be sure not to post that day

As I never played college baseball and therefore know nothing about the game.

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Apr 2, 2009 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions

awesome

see if we can get some funny Gload in college stories. I’ve no problem with G-LOAD or Joel personally, and it would be nice to have some fun stuff to laugh about.

Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.

by Matt Klaassen on Apr 2, 2009 3:13 PM EDT up reply actions

rec'd

no offense, but this is already better than your critically acclaimed piece on rotation slots.

Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.

by Matt Klaassen on Apr 2, 2009 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions

Chicago. Where the Dead can Vote. Where the Voters of Tomorrow are found in the Obituaries of Today.

by Zonis on Apr 3, 2009 4:12 AM EDT up reply actions

Which (ex-)Royal do you figure does the best with the groupies?

Gload’s intensity on the field certainly spills over into his approach at the Waldo Bar and Grill. Bloomy’s grit might prove problematic, as one imagines it would cause painful friction, especially if the lady in question was insufficiently lubricated. DDJ probably scores with the kind of woman who shows up in Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Mike Jacobs strikes out a lot, on the field and at the clubs; he just can’t handle the curves. And, as we all know, Callaspo is a switch-hitter.

It's pronounced Poo-ZHOLS in Catalan.

by Juancho on Apr 2, 2009 6:40 PM EDT reply actions

I have it on good authority...

that Grudz did very well with the local groupies (while he was around KC at least).

"Now…put that in your [BLEEP]ing pipe and smoke it." -Hal McRae

by Sweep_the_Leg on Apr 2, 2009 9:56 PM EDT up reply actions

My wife says he has dreamy eyes

The immoderate moderator

by Scott McKinney on Apr 2, 2009 10:06 PM EDT up reply actions

to be fair

his eyes are very, very blue. Hypnotic blue….

Listen to the MUSTN'Ts, child Listen to the DON'Ts Listen to the SHOULDN'Ts, The IMPOSSIBLEs, the WON'Ts Listen to the NEVER HAVEs Then listen close to me-- Anything can happen, child, ANYTHING can be --Shel Silverstein

by loyal2theroyals on Apr 2, 2009 10:40 PM EDT up reply actions