FanPost

Through the magic of Twitter

we can recreate the events that unfolded yesterday afternoon.  Most of the roster got involved, as well as a few special guests.

We'll try this again.  If the editor eats it again, I'll break it into two parts.

 

Pregame warmup.  The infielders are taking groundballs in the infield, and the relievers are sitting out in the bullpen)

Ph_425531_medium Waechter_DamnNearKilledHer: I'm tapping four islands to play my Air Elemental and am now ending my turn.

Ph_150035_medium tH3_Pr043550R: I'm a level 76 Paladin with a 96 strength Straightball of Justice.

Ph_124604_medium WrightOne: <whine> Kyle!! Leave us alone - we're trying to play Magic: The Gathering!! </whine>

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: I still need to decide if Josey should go on a minor league rehab assignment.

Ph_115229_medium JoGuiSandwich: Trey's still got to decide how much he likes having two testicles.

Ph_465657_medium Mexicutioner:  I hope I get to pitch today.  Although all this time off has allowed my to perfect my Guitar Hero skills.

 

**************************************************************************

 

(Top of the first inning, Kyle Davies is having a lot of trouble locating his pitches)

Ph_434678_medium HiramTheConquerer:  I'm thinking I shouldn't have used the jackhammer on my new patio renovation before the game.

 

(Rangers perform a double steal of second and third base)

Ph_407833_medium TheStorminMormon:  C'mon guys - stop running!  It's bad enough that Kyle can't find the plate, you guys don't need to embarrass me!

 

(Top of the second inning, Mike Jacobs steps to the plate with a runner on first)

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: Alright, stop.  Collaborate and listen.  Ice is back with a brand new invention.  Something...grabs a hold of me tightly.

 

(Mike Jacobs hits a HR and is rounding the bases)
Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: Will it ever stop?  Yo, I don't know.  Turn out the lights and I'll glow...Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.

 

(Middle of the 4th inning)

Ph_425844_medium TheLawnmowerMan: Wonder how many zero radius lawn tractors I would need starting out?

 

(Top of the fifth inning)

Ph_400141_medium HoRambo:  Just heard I get an extra start! Awesome!  Better tell Jamey and Doug to be loose that day.

 

(At some point during the bottom of the 5th inning)

Ph_460086_medium TheChosen1: My butt hurts.

 

(Sometime in the bottom of the 6th inning)

Ph_430910_medium TheOtherPena: I can't believe I make 400k a year for this!

Ph_425844_medium TheLawnmowerMan: Brayan, I've got a hankerin' for some Chipotle, want to run out and get us some?  Trey won't even know you're gone.

Ph_150035_medium tH3_Pr043550R: I feel a great disturbance.....my time is nearly at hand.

 

(Top of the 7th inning, Trey informs Kyle Davies that he's done for the day)

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: Nice job today Kyle!  After that first inning, you rebounded with one heckuva gritty performance.

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: You're rapidly becoming the grittiest guy on the team.

Ph_217100_medium WeeWillieGRITMONSTER: NO ONE TAKES MY TITLE!!! NO ONE!!!!

 

(Bottom of the 7th inning, Juan Cruz enters the game)

Ph_407297_medium CruzMissile: Cruzin' along.  You can't touch this.

 

(Bottom of the 7th inning, two outs, Josh Hamilton is coming to bat)

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: Bout to show all those uber nerds that I know how to use a lefty specialist.  Cruzie you're out.  Ronny you're in.

Ph_407297_medium CruzMissile: wut

Ph_118158_medium NotALeftySpecialistMahay: Praise Jeebus I get to pitch!

 

(Bottom of the 8th inning, no outs, Andruw Jones hits a deep fly ball to left center)

Ph_430203_medium HiveMan: Didya see that!  I almost had it!  I would've had a webgem for that one fo sho!

Ph_424825_medium CocoCrispies: FaSho......................................WTF!? That's my only line!!?!

 

(Bottom of the 8th inning, no outs, Hank Blaylock hits a grounder to Mike Jacobs, which Jacobs botches horribly)

Ph_430640_medium TheElvenKing: Pick it up and throw it, you moron!

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: Here..........come on, here!!....Take the ball....take it!!

 

(Somehow, Mike Jacobs winds up kicking the ball)

Ph_449107_medium TheAvilanche: Nice kick, Pele!

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: oh hahaha.... Pele! good one! hehehe.. ok! come on! suck it up guys!

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: we’ll get those runs back! this is where we dig down! we just need one more out!

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: oh look! a rightie! oh lord, thank you. thank you so much. I owe you.  This loser can't hit!!

 

(Chris Davis comes in to pinch hit for Taylor Teagarden)

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: uh oh, what’s happening? where’s the rightie going? what? who’s this guy? he’s a leftie and he’s pinch hitting. no! no!

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: WHY'S HE POINTING AT ME!!!


(Ian Kinsler eventually flies out for the 3rd out of the inning)

Ph_408312_medium IceIceJacobs: Hell yeah! we’re up now! it’s our turn to kick a little ass!

 

(Bottom of the 9th inning, Kyle Farnsworth runs out of the bullpen to start the inning in relief of Jamey Wright)

Ph_132260_medium SirSidneyP: Sh*3.  I know where this is going.  I'm going to hit the cooler of Shasta and Star Crunches before the guys get there.

(Sidney Ponson exits down the tunnel.)

Ph_456714_medium BaconatorBillyB: Where'd Sidney go?  He knows where all of the good food is.

(Billy Butler exits down the tunnel.)

Burgos_medium Murda4Life: Loves the way Farnworth plays.  He takes it personally, like a good game of dominoes.

Ph_150035_medium tH3_Pr043550R: it is time for the straightball of doom to seal the fates of the weak hearted.

Ph_276545_medium BetterThanArod: Remember when I used to play second base?

Ph_150035_medium tH3_Pr043550R: my straightball shall DESTROY YOU WHERE YOU STAND!! but not yet.

Ph_276545_medium BetterThanArod: Can we get this over with?

(Kyle Farnsworth throws a slider outside for ball one)

Ph_400018_medium MiggyO: How does anyone lay off those pitches that move?

Ph_150035_medium tH3_Pr043550R: you did not like that one? The straightball of justice shall now destroy you!

Ph_276545_medium BetterThanArod: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ph_430203_medium HiveMan: W...T...F....No way I'm chasing that one.

Ph_465657_medium Mexicutioner:  Maybe I'll pick up Rock Band this week.  I hear JoGui's pretty good on the drums

(Michael Young hits a walk off HR to left center field)

 

***********************************************************************

(Trey enters the conference room and sits down at the table)

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: Tough loss today.  I'm here to answer any and all questions.

Sgil_medium RichardKaegel:  Well gee, Coach, did you ever think about doing you bullpen differently?

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: I didn't think these were going to be baseball related questions.

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: Does anyone have any non-baseball related questions?  Anyone?  That's it - I'm done

(Trey gets up and leaves the postgame conference)

********************************************************************************

(Trey leaves the postgame to run into Dayton Moore and a random Royals fan outside the conference room.

8dcwohdm_medium DMtheGM: Tough game Trey.  Could you explain your Farnsworth plan?

Image_php_medium RoyalsFan: What's to explain!? He's an idiot!

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: Well, basically, I just copied that plan we have now.

8dcwohdm_medium DMtheGM: <impressed> Hmmm...... </impressed>

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: Then, I added some fins to Kyle's uniform to lower wind resistance.

527068_90x135_medium Treyballsan: And the new racing stripe I added to his jersey I feel is pretty sharp.

8dcwohdm_medium DMtheGM: Agreed.  Top Notch.  And Trey, remember the plan:  We let them pitch.

Bill_pecota_autograph_medium PECOTA: We let them pitch.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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