Through the magic of Twitter
by Top Ramen on Apr 20, 2009 9:58 PM EDT
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Printwe can recreate the events that unfolded yesterday afternoon. Most of the roster got involved, as well as a few special guests.
We'll try this again. If the editor eats it again, I'll break it into two parts.
Pregame warmup. The infielders are taking groundballs in the infield, and the relievers are sitting out in the bullpen)
Waechter_DamnNearKilledHer: I'm tapping four islands to play my Air Elemental and am now ending my turn.
tH3_Pr043550R: I'm a level 76 Paladin with a 96 strength Straightball of Justice.
WrightOne: <whine> Kyle!! Leave us alone - we're trying to play Magic: The Gathering!! </whine>
Treyballsan: I still need to decide if Josey should go on a minor league rehab assignment.
JoGuiSandwich: Trey's still got to decide how much he likes having two testicles.
Mexicutioner: I hope I get to pitch today. Although all this time off has allowed my to perfect my Guitar Hero skills.
**************************************************************************
(Top of the first inning, Kyle Davies is having a lot of trouble locating his pitches)
HiramTheConquerer: I'm thinking I shouldn't have used the jackhammer on my new patio renovation before the game.
(Rangers perform a double steal of second and third base)
TheStorminMormon: C'mon guys - stop running! It's bad enough that Kyle can't find the plate, you guys don't need to embarrass me!
(Top of the second inning, Mike Jacobs steps to the plate with a runner on first)
IceIceJacobs: Alright, stop. Collaborate and listen. Ice is back with a brand new invention. Something...grabs a hold of me tightly.
(Mike Jacobs hits a HR and is rounding the bases)
IceIceJacobs: Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know. Turn out the lights and I'll glow...Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
TheLawnmowerMan: Wonder how many zero radius lawn tractors I would need starting out?
(Top of the fifth inning)
HoRambo: Just heard I get an extra start! Awesome! Better tell Jamey and Doug to be loose that day.
(At some point during the bottom of the 5th inning)
TheChosen1: My butt hurts.
(Sometime in the bottom of the 6th inning)
TheOtherPena: I can't believe I make 400k a year for this!
TheLawnmowerMan: Brayan, I've got a hankerin' for some Chipotle, want to run out and get us some? Trey won't even know you're gone.
tH3_Pr043550R: I feel a great disturbance.....my time is nearly at hand.
(Top of the 7th inning, Trey informs Kyle Davies that he's done for the day)
Treyballsan: Nice job today Kyle! After that first inning, you rebounded with one heckuva gritty performance.
Treyballsan: You're rapidly becoming the grittiest guy on the team.
WeeWillieGRITMONSTER: NO ONE TAKES MY TITLE!!! NO ONE!!!!
(Bottom of the 7th inning, Juan Cruz enters the game)
CruzMissile: Cruzin' along. You can't touch this.
(Bottom of the 7th inning, two outs, Josh Hamilton is coming to bat)
Treyballsan: Bout to show all those uber nerds that I know how to use a lefty specialist. Cruzie you're out. Ronny you're in.
CruzMissile: wut
NotALeftySpecialistMahay: Praise Jeebus I get to pitch!
(Bottom of the 8th inning, no outs, Andruw Jones hits a deep fly ball to left center)
HiveMan: Didya see that! I almost had it! I would've had a webgem for that one fo sho!
CocoCrispies: FaSho......................................WTF!? That's my only line!!?!
(Bottom of the 8th inning, no outs, Hank Blaylock hits a grounder to Mike Jacobs, which Jacobs botches horribly)
TheElvenKing: Pick it up and throw it, you moron!
IceIceJacobs: Here..........come on, here!!....Take the ball....take it!!
(Somehow, Mike Jacobs winds up kicking the ball)
TheAvilanche: Nice kick, Pele!
IceIceJacobs: oh hahaha.... Pele! good one! hehehe.. ok! come on! suck it up guys!
IceIceJacobs: we’ll get those runs back! this is where we dig down! we just need one more out!
IceIceJacobs: oh look! a rightie! oh lord, thank you. thank you so much. I owe you. This loser can't hit!!
(Chris Davis comes in to pinch hit for Taylor Teagarden)
IceIceJacobs: uh oh, what’s happening? where’s the rightie going? what? who’s this guy? he’s a leftie and he’s pinch hitting. no! no!
IceIceJacobs: WHY'S HE POINTING AT ME!!!
(Ian Kinsler eventually flies out for the 3rd out of the inning)
IceIceJacobs: Hell yeah! we’re up now! it’s our turn to kick a little ass!
(Bottom of the 9th inning, Kyle Farnsworth runs out of the bullpen to start the inning in relief of Jamey Wright)
SirSidneyP: Sh*3. I know where this is going. I'm going to hit the cooler of Shasta and Star Crunches before the guys get there.
(Sidney Ponson exits down the tunnel.)
BaconatorBillyB: Where'd Sidney go? He knows where all of the good food is.
(Billy Butler exits down the tunnel.)
Murda4Life: Loves the way Farnworth plays. He takes it personally, like a good game of dominoes.
tH3_Pr043550R: it is time for the straightball of doom to seal the fates of the weak hearted.
BetterThanArod: Remember when I used to play second base?
tH3_Pr043550R: my straightball shall DESTROY YOU WHERE YOU STAND!! but not yet.
BetterThanArod: Can we get this over with?
(Kyle Farnsworth throws a slider outside for ball one)
MiggyO: How does anyone lay off those pitches that move?
tH3_Pr043550R: you did not like that one? The straightball of justice shall now destroy you!
BetterThanArod: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HiveMan: W...T...F....No way I'm chasing that one.
Mexicutioner: Maybe I'll pick up Rock Band this week. I hear JoGui's pretty good on the drums
(Michael Young hits a walk off HR to left center field)
***********************************************************************
(Trey enters the conference room and sits down at the table)
Treyballsan: Tough loss today. I'm here to answer any and all questions.
RichardKaegel: Well gee, Coach, did you ever think about doing you bullpen differently?
Treyballsan: I didn't think these were going to be baseball related questions.
Treyballsan: Does anyone have any non-baseball related questions? Anyone? That's it - I'm done
(Trey gets up and leaves the postgame conference)
********************************************************************************
(Trey leaves the postgame to run into Dayton Moore and a random Royals fan outside the conference room.
DMtheGM: Tough game Trey. Could you explain your Farnsworth plan?
RoyalsFan: What's to explain!? He's an idiot!
Treyballsan: Well, basically, I just copied that plan we have now.
DMtheGM: <impressed> Hmmm...... </impressed>
Treyballsan: Then, I added some fins to Kyle's uniform to lower wind resistance.
Treyballsan: And the new racing stripe I added to his jersey I feel is pretty sharp.
DMtheGM: Agreed. Top Notch. And Trey, remember the plan: We let them pitch.
PECOTA: We let them pitch.
23 comments
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18 recs |
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Comments
He IS a Level 76 Paladin
But, I too, would like to see you brave the 96 strength Straightball of Justice and give us more. Great stuff.
"Now…put that in your [BLEEP]ing pipe and smoke it." -Hal McRae
by Sweep_the_Leg on Apr 20, 2009 5:10 PM EDT up reply actions
wow
You gotta end every one of these with Bill Pecota. It is the law.
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
I barely know what Twitter is, and I'm a long way from getting the kids these days,
but this post had me laughing my ass off anyway…
Mr Glass, this is a pro sports team, not a retail store - run it like one!
I think Twitter is like a facebook status
without all of the other stuff. Although I’ve seen people use it like an instant messenger.
Facebook is enough to keep up with for me. What with Mafia Wars consuming all of my time and all….
AAAGGH! It lost nearly half of it!
The entire postgame conference is gone!
I’ll go back and fix it this evening
Apparently, true to life, something fell apart when it was HoRam's turn.
I think I’ve fixed the glitch, but the 7th inning on was wiped out – I’ll republish when I get it done
Awesome!
Yes, you had me lol.
This should be a regular feature for every game. Ok, once a week for classic games.
The General Theory of Royaltivity
Far too much work for regular games
Although for classic games (esp. those that have an off-day following) it wouldn’t be too bad
Perfect.
Very well played.
" I'll be the first one to tell you , ' Don't follow me . I'll let you down. Follow Jesus.' " Trey Hillman
OK, got it.
The General Theory of Royaltivity
i wish I could rec it again after the additions
although I think the snarky implications about Moore are way out of line
Bringing you more-or-less replacement level analysis and commentary to Driveline Mechanics and elsewhere since sometime in 2008.
Wish it hadn't messed up
I actually like the second half stuff (plus Gordon) better than what got published originally
Absolute lies
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Apr 21, 2009 10:01 AM EDT up reply actions
Oh sweet, it's like the Dugout is funny again
I was hoping someone would carry the torch
by Soria's Unibrow on Apr 21, 2009 4:35 AM EDT reply actions
Ramen....mark this day down....April 24, 2009
for I read your comments in the game thread, and I realized I never rec’d this post……so I did the honorable thing and came back and rec’d it just now…congrats for tying Retro’s accomplishment for most recommendations on this site.
by Fernando Vina School of Linguistics on Apr 25, 2009 12:28 AM EDT reply actions
I'm new here
just rec’d. I lol’d quite nicely
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway - An Onymous
by ratherfantastic on Apr 25, 2009 8:37 AM EDT reply actions
I'm honored guys
next article is under construction – hopefully to be published later this week. It’ll follow the format of the first “Office-esque” post.
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