This is only the fifth offday?  Ugh.  And it's a mere three games until the next one, with another following weekly until June 29.  Dig in, everyone.  It's gonna be a rough month of Mondays.

Said month hasn't even started yet, though, and here we are with an offday.  What will we all do when 7:10 rolls around and there's no Royals game?  You might suggest I watch the Cavs-Magic game.  I might laugh in your face.  If it's not Royals baseball, then it's filth and I want nothing to do with it.

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.  I'm going to take the mound again in my pursuit of the Metro Omaha Softball Mens and/or Coed* D-League Cy Young Award.**  I made my career pitching debut two weeks ago in long relief for the coed team, going 4ish*** innings, striking out one, and probably taking the loss because my team can't play defense.

* Both teams are managed by the same guy and share several of the guy players.

** They will create the award and give it to me after my dominant season.

*** All stats are guesstimates because I don't have a statistician around... I could probably ask my manager for a copy of each scorecard, but he would probably punch me in the face.

Last week, I started in the men's game and went the distance, giving up maybe four earned runs (along with around 20 unearned).  I didn't get any strikeouts, but I did get a batter called out when he stepped on the plate reaching for an outside pitch.  Heh heh heh.  Try to match that, Greinke.  I also threw a runner out at the plate... from about ten feet behind it.

In the coed game, the manager pulled a Trey and decided to give someone else a chance pitching.  In a Ho-Ram-as-starter-like performance, he gave up about 10 runs in the first inning.  Someone else came in for relief in the second, and I got the call from the sheepish manager to mop up the rest of the game.  I did fairly well, recording another strikeout and who knows how many or how few earned runs.  I did notch a bizarre inning-ending double play on an infield fly call... one of the baserunners mistakenly kept running and rounded third, then thought the inning was over and started trotting across the field.  I wasn't paying attention and thought it was the batter.  The umpire awkwardly refused to call the play dead, and after a moment of confusion, I tagged the wayward runner for the third out.

Tonight, the mens and coed games are scheduled at the same time, so I will face either the Master Batters* or the Slumpbusters, respectively.  I have no idea what the league standings are, what is at stake, or anything other than my own teams' records (mens: 0-4, coed: 2-3).  As Greinke might say, I just know I have to go out there and pitch good.

* You stay classy.

I estimated my season FIP and other stats in a text to Minda, but my phone has forgotten them.

We will not discuss my batting.