Offday 6: Offdays So Boring They Cause Crime

by Porcus on Jun 1, 2009 1:42 PM EDT

How could I keep from doing an offday post once I realized the direct correlation (and therefore causation) between offdays and brazen robberies? 100% of all robberies directly outside my front door have taken place on offdays. Therefore I plan to fight off my boredom tonight by stalking the streets with my softball bat.

Of course, 100% of all my dominant pitching performances in my slowpitch league have been on offdays too. That means we can expect around 30 total strikeouts from me on July 16 and 23.

So, what's everyone drinking tonight?

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The Blood of a Goat.

Someones gotta bust this rally.

"I can resist everything but temptation." - oscar wylde

by cfizzle on Jun 1, 2009 1:59 PM EDT reply actions

or the

Gload of a Boot

by benfunke on Jun 1, 2009 4:18 PM EDT up reply actions

I'm staying in my house with the drapes drawn

off days scare me now. I hope Minda stays out of Dundee.

"Things could always be worse." - Buddy Bell

by buddyball on Jun 1, 2009 3:05 PM EDT reply actions

At least they can't lose today

by AxDxMx on Jun 1, 2009 3:15 PM EDT reply actions

i hate off-days

or rather… off-nights

i love having a baseball game each night

by Freneau on Jun 1, 2009 3:17 PM EDT reply actions

I may not even leave the house today!

Instead, I shall sue the Royals for having an off-day and therefore leading to me getting mugged. Also, I want to take this opportunity to properly mourn the loss of the Dr Pepper that was slain in the mugging process. Here’s Porcus in mourning:

Additionally, Sweepy McBroomerton played a role in the cleanup process.

Plays a mean shortstop AND cleans up after violent crime? What CAN’T Sweepy do??