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I Quit As A Royals Fan (Mad Lib)

After _______ (number) years as a _______ (ironic adjective, e.g. "die-hard") Royals fan, this recent _______ (negative baseball event, e.g. "trade," "acquisition," "losing streak") has finally worn out my _______ (ironic term, e.g. "loyalty").  I have always been _______ (hilariously false term, e.g. "optimistic"), but this is too much.

 

The Royals' general manager, _______ (name of Royals general manager), obviously doesn't know anything about _______ (fundamental body of baseball knowledge)Every move he has made is wrong.  _______ (most recent transaction) is the _______ (cliche such as "last straw").

 

_______'s (name of Royals manager) ineptitude continues to inspire _______ (synonym for "rage").  I mean, did you see _______ (trivial mistake in recent game)?  Clearly he should have _______, _______, then _______ and _______ with _______, (impossible suggestion which likely would not have changed outcome) then the Royals would have won.  He has cost the team _______ (number above 20) wins this year.  He needs to go, and so does _______ (name of pitching coach or other coach).

 

_______, _______, _______, and _______ (names of current Royals players) can't _______, _______, or _______ (fundamental baseball skills).  This is even worse than the era of _______, _______, and _______ (names of former Royals players).  _______ (current player) is injured even more than _______ (Mike Sweeney).

 

_______ (ridiculous condition, e.g. "until the front office is replaced"), I am _______ (self-important adjective, e.g. "officially") done as a Royals fan.  _______ (insincere apology), but I just can't take it anymore.   _______ (final pretentious, attention-whoring statement).

16 recs  |  Comment 57 comments |

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tremendous

I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.

Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.

by devil_fingers on Jul 11, 2009 4:21 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

+1

Unless I'm wrong...

by Top Ramen on Jul 11, 2009 10:44 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

excellent job

the funniest thing about this particular signature is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything it's too late to stop reading it!

by ratherfantastic on Jul 11, 2009 4:53 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

+1443125134975807

Tears are rolling down my face from “replaced Farnsworth with a pitching machine.”

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

See, I was really hoping that

“until they win a few games in a row and cloud my judgement” would be the punch line…

This space for rent.

by jonfmorse on Jul 12, 2009 11:38 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Conflict of interest

but yeah, awesome. No offense, Porcus, the original was incredible, but somehow Morse just comes in out of nowhere and nails it.

Yes, I’m almost in tears.

I was going to suggest we do a contest with Pocus/Minda/Steve Perry as judge"s", but I doubt anyone will top Morse’s brilliiance. Not that it wouldn’t be fun to see people try.

As a cheesy side note, this whole post just strengthens my (pathetic) resolve not to let this front office break my fandom. It’s my team, not their’s. We no who their team is.

I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.

Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.

by devil_fingers on Jul 12, 2009 12:52 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Gold :D

Again, replaced Farnsworth with a pitching machine… that is hard to top

by sterlingice on Jul 12, 2009 2:28 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I love the reaction on this fanpost

More recs than comments; it’s as if everyone is just grimly nodding and moving along. rofl.

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 12:42 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Lets dive in.

After 27 years as a freaking Royals fan, this recent acquisition has finally worn out my fandom. I have always been glass half full, but this is too much.

 

The Royals’ general manager,GMDM, obviously doesn’t know anything about anything. Every move he has made is wrong. Yuniesky is the nail.
 

Trey’s ineptitude continues to inspire curious thoughts. I mean, did you see him using Wright? Clearly he should have used his bullpen accordingly by using Farnsworth in the 8th, then the Royals would have won. He has cost the team 24 wins this year. He needs to go, and so does Windmill Dave Owen.

 
Jose, Mike, Miguel, and Mitch can’t walk, hit, or drive the goddamn baseball. This is even worse than the era of Bell, Bip Roberts, and King. Meche is injured even more than Guillen.
 
Until Fangraphs or Royals Review is allowed through the firewall, I am fucking done as a Royals fan. It’s not me, it is you, but I just can’t take it anymore. Fuck this fucking game.

If you were thinking, you wouldn't have thought that.

http://sonsofsamhorn.net/index.php?showforum=129

by Warden11 on Jul 12, 2009 1:18 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

Indeed, they should move on, and

get the hell over themselves.

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 3:19 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I disagree

Why spend time, money, and thought on an organization that clearly doesn’t deserve it? I’ve taken shit for being a Royals fan for years, and I live in KC. The first World Series I have a memory of is Cardinals – Twins in 1987. I was 2 years late to the party. So I’ve been a fan for 22 years of a team that hasn’t sniffed the postseason. The only team with a longer drought is the Expos/Natinals. Even the Pirates made the playoffs in 1992. Not only that, but they seem to be getting worse as they go. Is that futility long enough, or do I still need to get over myself Porcus? I’ll be happy when they find a new GM, hopefully at the end of this season. But right now, following the team this closely is maddening as they clearly don’t get it. I’m sure I’ll never completely quit the Royals, but a complete return to laughingstock status and they might finally force me out. Though I always did like going to an empty ballpark. It’s like they were playing just for me.

Who am I kidding? I’m a glutton for punishment. Thank you Mr. Moore, may I have another!

by AxDxMx on Jul 12, 2009 10:51 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I don't care if people decide to stop being fans

I happen to think that it’s stupid and weak, but whatever. What annoys me is when they publicly announce it. It only gets worse when (invariably) they keep coming back anyway and (usually) end up “quitting” again and again. I have this crazy sappy feeling that as Royals fans we’re all in this together. I see quite enough horrifyingly bad effort from the team; no need for some “fans” to pile on as well.

If you’re really going to quit, just leave and don’t come back. By the time you’re writing “I officially quit as a fan,” you’ve already officially quit as a fan. Now you’re just standing on the sidelines of the sidelines and irritating the hell out of people, like a military deserter sticking around in the trenches and explaining why everyone else should quit like he just did.

It’s not necessarily that I don’t care when people quit (that depends on how well I know them). I guess I just don’t want to hear it. When you quit, you lose your license to whine along with the rest of us. Go away. I don’t mind you turning your back on the team and the fans – just make sure you don’t show your face after you do.

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 5:52 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

And when I say "you"

I mean “people in general,” not “AxDxMx.”

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 5:53 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I hear you

I guess I haven’t been around here long enough for multiple “quits” by the same people. I just can’t see anything changing with management unless Dayton really is under a “win now” ultimatum. I can see this turning into a Carl Peterson situation where the fans want him gone, but the owner doesn’t hear it and doesn’t care. This town loves the Royals, but they have been completely turned off by all the losing and ineptitude. Games like today’s don’t help matters. Anyways, I’m not quitting, but it is rather frustrating when a running joke/truth on here about trading Butler for Betancourt comes halfway true. We dodged the original bullet, but it ricocheted and hit us in the ass. I would have actually been a lot happier if we had traded for Francoeur by swapping problems (Guillen), but instead Dayton adds a new Gullen-style problem to the lineup. He certainly has cornered the market on the worst players in MLB. Not sure what he is thinking.

by AxDxMx on Jul 12, 2009 11:30 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

What an Idiotic and Pompous Statement

Is it any better than “true fans” who bitch and whine about how certain people “really weren’t fans to begin with.” The bottom line is that you pull that argument as claim to this “true fan” medal for the same reason fans are leaving; The organization is not providing any value in return for the fans’ loyalty. So, one fan leaves and you claim your spot on top of the self proclaimed fan-of-the-century pedestal.

by bfos7215 on Jul 13, 2009 5:02 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I'm not claiming any personal high ground

“True fans” are those who stick with their team. While I’m in that group, I’m certainly not alone and I’m neither better nor worse than any of my brethren. “Fans” who quit on their team are shitty fans. They are the shittiest possible fans. They are pathetic. Their loyalty and fan interest was pretty small to begin with. Currently the organization sucks pretty bad. That happens in professional sports organizations. Fans stick. Quitters quit. It’s just that simple.

No, it wasn’t idiotic or pompous. It’s calling a spade a spade.

The immoderate moderator

by NYRoyal on Jul 15, 2009 1:37 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Best post of the year Legit - that's why you are my boy on here, my favorite poster by far

NY you came out of nowhere and came after me on a thread that was addressed to me!. Billy, me and others were having a healthy debate over the Betancourt trade. Obviously, no one will know until after the season if Betancourt will get his act together but it’s interesting to look at someone else’s side. I respect Billy for being upset about losing Cortes, because he really thinks there is a chance Cortes can make the big league club and isn’t sure that Melville/Montgovmery/Duffy won’t regress like Cortes has. It was good until you came out of nowhere to tell me how “impressive” my idiocy is. That I’m wrong about everything when ATLEAST a half of dozen posters gave me props for highlight some good points about the Betancourt trade.

 You haven’t been around for weeks. I get the feeling you were reading other posters commending my posts/supporting my position and it make you indignant!

PS – There is nothing more pathetic than being a Mets fan right now. 3 straight years the team has had high expectations and FAILED. They should make the playoffs every year with that payroll and still fail. I know a Met fan that went into alcohol rehab because he drank so much after the 2007 collapse and another who was arrested for property damage after the 2006 NLCS

by GobbleforCyoung on Jul 15, 2009 8:49 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Thank you sir

I am a straight shooter for sure and I get really sick of NY’s tone. Its good to see theyre a few people that can understand my frustration and distaste with his attitude. Furthermore, since he is obviously the biggest and baddest fan out there I find it odd he is never in open game threads. Im sure its “not his thing” or he finds us all so idiotic that he just cant handle it. The most likely answer for why hes not around in open game threads just might be because he needs the extra time to come up with more dwarfing and malicious comments. And Gobble you are my boy as well all day everyday.

by 2LegittoShit on Jul 15, 2009 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

No, it wasn't that

The power of gobbleforcyoung’s analysis has driven me away. And the fact that two people occasionally agree with him has intimidated me to the point where I can’t bear to show my face around here. I mean, gobbleforcyoung knows little about baseball and almost nothing about stats, statistical analysis or the developments in baseball analysis over the last 20 years. How can I compete with that?

The immoderate moderator

by NYRoyal on Jul 16, 2009 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

I've said it before and I'll say it again

G4CY is Dayton Moore.

Or a troll sent from hell.

Take your pick.

by AxDxMx on Jul 16, 2009 3:54 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Just a half assed baseball fan who doesn’t know how little he knows about baseball (and doesn’t have the good sense to keep his mouth shut). It’s ok to not know much about a subject. There are many subjects I don’t know much about. For instance, I know little about non-Euclidean geometry. But I at least recognize this and have the sense to not go to non-Euclidean geometry message boards and broadcast my ignorance by arguing vociferously about things I know nothing about.

The immoderate moderator

by NYRoyal on Jul 16, 2009 4:04 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

You are so blantantly foul and ridiculous

You really are such an elite, statistical guru. Someone with a license to be rude and condescending at your own whimsical discretion.

You think you know so much about KC’s SS situation do you? Mike Aviles is such a great option next year after having a horrible first month and half , being in jeopardy of demotion, then followed by subsequent Tommy John surgery. And this is for a player with an insanely high BABIP and Olivo-esque plate discipline last year, who wasn’t projected to be anything more than a utility player in the first place. Brilliant choice.

Oh, and you refer to our SS “in the system,” Jeff Bianchi who is really going to make MLB by 2011 after just getting promoted to AA (where he is struggling now – .239 OBP in July). Maybe he will get promoted to AAA in 2010 and play wall, putting him on the fast track to MLB! There will be need for him to repeat AAA – he shouldn’t have to repeat a level that he can’t even match his production from the previous year like Kila. He doesn’t even have to worry about AAA, he will most likely repeat AA and who knows, probably regress as a prospect like Cortes has.

And an almost 33 Willie Bloomquist would be fantastic as an everyday SS in 2010, considering he will revert back to his career numbers most likely and has shown he can man the position every single day. It’s not as if TPJ or Hernandez were getting any playing time with him on the roster, or that FOUR DIFFERENT SEATTLE MANAGERS, Mclaren, Riggelmen, Hargrove and Wakamatsu started Betancourt over Bloomquist (or thought he was expendable).

So Aviles, Bianchi and Bloomquist are really solid options. It’s such a horrible thing that our owner, and former Walmart CEO, who has a third of a billion in net worth fork over 7 million dollars for a MLB SS that has a chance to be slightly below average through 2011, that I feel the need to treat G4CYoung like an absolute piece of shit.

by GobbleforCyoung on Jul 16, 2009 8:25 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Solid options
So Aviles, Bianchi and Bloomquist are really solid options.

I’m not sure how good they are except that they are each clearly and demonstrably better than Betancourt. And cheaper. And cost nothing in trade. Get it?

The immoderate moderator

by NYRoyal on Jul 16, 2009 12:08 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dude, you need to chill out

How come there is no one in the media that likes this trade besides Dick Kaegel from Royals.com? Maybe you should think about that one. Even the recent Dutton piece gets in some subtle jabs:

http://www.kansascity.com/sports/story/1327535.html

YOU are the only one defending this and doing it very loudly to stir up others. That is what is called a troll on ther internet.

You also seem to agree with every Dayton move when it is made, therefore, you could be Dayton Moore. These really aren’t outlandish statements. You are making them all by yourself.

by AxDxMx on Jul 16, 2009 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

In Gobble's defense,

I think it’s clear he actually believes what he says, and isn’t doing it to be a troll.

Royals, NBA, Golden Hurricane, Hawkeyes, Chiefs, and KU basketball, in that order.

by Rowyal on Jul 16, 2009 1:47 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

he actually believes what he says

That’s the sad part.

The immoderate moderator

by NYRoyal on Jul 16, 2009 2:35 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

to an extent it is true

When i first learned of the trade I was confused why we would acquire another OBP sieve who has gotten worse as a defender and cost millions. giving up on a prospect who has been devalued in Cortes, which seemed like a lot, but he hasn’t pitched well after having another off the field incident.

If you can recall what transpired over the week, my posts were in response to all the negativity on here. I couldn’t really stand it. I tried to find the positives and hope for the best. it seemed like I was thrown up against a wall and i ended up defending the trade more than I wanted to.

It was more of a, “lets root for the kid and hope he can turn it around – here are some reasons why”

I like the Jacobs kid mainly because he was an ex Met and thought last year was just a down year. It’s been a disaster, but the reason I liked the trade initially was because we still had Ram Ram and Moore was supposedly good at assembling a bullpen.

When he traded for Coco I thought it was a huge risk, but held out some hope that he could recapture that success he had in Cleveland.

The bottom line is I’m being optimistic and trying to see the good in the moves the Royals make. Why Im getting treated like dog shit and called names for doing so is beyond me. Thankyou to those who have defended me – Babies, Legit, BillybeingBilly, KC, even BHwick – It’s appreciated.

Yeah, Datyon Moore is a shitty GM. I want him gone and Hillman too. But its not going to happen!!! Maybe I’m conditioned and it a horrible GM doesn’t affect me. The Mets went from Steve Phillips to Omar MInaya – two of the biggest losers on the planet – and in a couple of years guys like Bobby Bonilla are going to be paid 1.2 million from 2011 – 2035! (unbelievable)

I just don’t see what good it does to be so negative, critical, condescending and downright nasty about every move Moore makes and especially to those who are attempting to see the half glass full.

by GobbleforCyoung on Jul 16, 2009 7:37 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

The bottom line is I’m being optimistic and trying to see the good in the moves the Royals make.

It’s fine to be optimistic and hope for the best. It’s cool to root for Yuni and hope he does well. I hope he does. I hope he shocks us all. But the problem is that you let your hopes color your analysis. Because you want it to be a good move, you argue that Yuni is actually pretty good and Cortes is crap. You argue that the trade was fine because it represents an upgrade over TPJ. That analysis is moronic in the extreme. If you know those things aren’t true, then don’t waste our time by arguing them. Recognize the trade for what it is and then hope for the best.

You’re getting treated like shit because you are vociferously arguing idiotic points, like pretending this horrible trade that hurt the team is actually a good thing.

I just don’t see what good it does to be so negative, critical, condescending and downright nasty about every move Moore makes and especially to those who are attempting to see the half glass full.

How about just being realistic? What’s wrong with that? When Moore has done things well, I give him full credit. When he screws up, I give him the blame. Recognize the glass is half full WHEN THE GLASS IS ACTUALLY HALF FULL. It isn’t. It’s not half full with regard to this team, this organization or this trade. Crap is crap. Call it crap; don’t try to pretend things are good when they aren’t. Don’t pretend a trade has meaningful positives when it does not.

You’re getting the crap you’re getting because you’re being a homer, arguing stupid points and being an apologist for a bad GM making stupid moves. What the hell did you expect. Wake up, kid.

The immoderate moderator

by NYRoyal on Jul 16, 2009 9:47 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

These are some bold statements

I’m mainly getting crap from your for sharing my opinion which differs from you.

Because you want it to be a good move, you argue that Yuni is actually pretty good and Cortes is crap. You argue that the trade was fine because it represents an upgrade over TPJ.

I just don’t know where you come up with this. First im Billy 4 MVP, now I’m saying things I’ve never said. I said Betancourt has a chance to rebound and be average for a MLB SS, which is GOOD for THE ROYALS. I said Cortes has regressed this year and has off the field problems, but of course he’s a good pitching prospect, but the Royals have better ones and he was therefore expendable.

How about just being realistic? What’s wrong with that? When Moore has done things well, I give him full credit. When he screws up, I give him the blame.

You speak as if you are commenting on something factual in hindsight. You, nor I knows what will happen with Betancourt, how well he’ll perform as a Royal. Why don’t you reserve judgment until then.

by GobbleforCyoung on Jul 17, 2009 9:09 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Seriously

I’m not sure you even qualify as a fan until it stops being fun.

by PopeSoria on Jul 15, 2009 5:07 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

I had to give it a whirl, too

After incalculable (number) years as a long suffering (ironic adjective, e.g. “die-hard”) Royals fan, this recent Royals era, starting in the last millennium (negative baseball event, e.g. “trade,” “acquisition,” “losing streak”) has finally worn out my masochistic tendencies (ironic term, e.g. “loyalty”). I have always been someone with a high tolerance for pain (hilariously false term, e.g. “optimistic”), but this is too much.

The Royals’ general manager, Bill Bavasi Dayton Moore (name of Royals general manager), obviously doesn’t know anything about the rules of baseball, particularly that the pennant is not awarded to the team with the most players previously employed by the Atlanta and Seattle baseball clubs (fundamental body of baseball knowledge). Every move he has made is wrong. Trading Zack Greinke for a bag of batting practice baseballs Jeff Francoeur (most recent transaction) is the worst thing he’s done since sometime last week (cliche such as “last straw”).

The mustachioed one (no, not him- the newer version)‘s (name of Royals manager) ineptitude continues to inspire fits of uncontrollable giggling from the opposing dugout (synonym for “rage”). I mean, did you see {insert any of the many trivial mistakes from the game yesterday} (trivial mistake in recent game)? Clearly he should have chosen a better career like rodeo clown or, save that, boarded a plane back to Japan, then *let John Gibbons manage as he doesn’t know where Hillman keep the magnetic poetry kit normally used to fill out the lineup card* and replaced Farnsworth with a pitching machine, (impossible suggestion which likely would not have changed outcome) then the Royals would have won. He has cost the team 162 (number above 20) wins this year. He needs to go, and so does everyone associated with the team except Trevor Vance (name of pitching coach or other coach).

Jose Guillen, Miguel Olivo, Mike Jacobs, and insert current shortstop here (names of current Royals players) can’t judge the strike zone as well as a team of Stevie Wonder and Louis Braille, keep Tom Emanski from having his face melt like the Nazi in Indiana Jones , or know which base to run to even if Dave Owen was still working at Bob Hamelin’s dealership, selling cars as he was last year (fundamental baseball skills). This is even worse than the era of All Star Ken Harvey, that time he got hit in the back with a throw, and the tarp (names of former Royals players). Whoever Nick Swartz gets within 10 feet of (current player) is injured even more than Mike Sweeney (Mike Sweeney).

Until it is once again popular to pretend to like baseball in this city (ridiculous condition, e.g. “until the front office is replaced”), I am bandwagoningly (self-important adjective, e.g. “officially”) done as a Royals fan. I wish it didn’t have to be this way (insincere apology), but I just can’t take it anymore. I’d go root for the Cardinals, if their self-proclaimed best fans in baseball weren’t a bunch of whiners (final pretentious, attention-whoring statement).

You just can’t beat “replaced Farnsworth with a pitching machine”- I think that needs to be added in as permanent text for its timeless quality :)

by sterlingice on Jul 12, 2009 4:19 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

Hahahahaha

Very impressive, and rec-worthy. I literally lol’d. My favorite: “Until it is once again popular to pretend to like baseball in this city”.

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 4:29 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

great stuff.

What I don’t understand is why events (or “bullshit” as jonfmorse succinctly and hilariously put it) of such recent vintage seem to be the breaking point for so many. Where were these folks in 2004-06? In terms of player personnel, the entire organization, top to bottom, was a stale turd. Big picture, the franchise was in a state of suspended animation. On the field, there were of course a litany of stories so increasingly ridiculous that the uniforms should have been changed to include bowler hats and toothbrush mustaches.

It’s slowly become apparent that Dayton Moore is ill-equipped for the task with which he has been charged. But at least there is a puzzle piece or two in place (rotation, low minors?, international?) to legitimize optimism for when the next regime settles in (or even for the GMDM true believers, if there are any left). Assuming those pieces aren’t turned into players who are sometimes marginally good at only one thing, obvy.

by SSmanque on Jul 12, 2009 6:19 AM EDT reply actions   0 recs

although I think it should be mentioned

that the Rany-blackballed stuff is a different animal. Which I’m sure was implicit in previous posts anyway.

by SSmanque on Jul 12, 2009 6:25 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Oh! Yes

Thanks, I forgot to mention that. Yeah, I don’t mind people making a fuss and/or quitting on account of something idiotic like that, which is outside the normal realm of sports and fandom and stuff.

by Porcus on Jul 12, 2009 5:55 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

This is different b/c hope is (sorry, was) involved

By the end of the Baird era, we were literally “funny bad,” and had no expectations. The new regime gave us high hopes, and move after terrible move has dashed those hopes. I guess after ‘03 there was hope, but it didn’t take long for that to go bye-bye in ‘04. Having hope/expectations makes it more difficult to handle, even if it’s the same outcome.

One of my favorite expressions I like to toss out once in a while at appropriate times is, “well, you can’t polish a turd.” It’s usually apt when talking about renovating versus demolition and starting over (think car, house, etc.), but can be applied in many conversations.

Anyway, as I watched a game a while back, my first at the “new” K (live out of town), and after watching KC trot out Bruce Chen, a journey-man ne’er-do-well of a pitcher, throw a QS, watch the offense be completely punchless, make base running errors, etc., I realized I was watching Dayton Moore’s team. And I was sad.

BUT, the stadium looked cool. That was my biggest highlight of the night. Combining these two conclusions, that I watched a sad-sack team that’s only slightly better than those from four or five years ago, in this flashy upgraded stadium, I realized that Dayton Moore has disproven one of my favorite expressions: he has successfully polished a turd.

by Royal Revival on Jul 12, 2009 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

retweeted

I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.

Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.

by devil_fingers on Jul 12, 2009 6:11 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

That's what Porky Pig said. TWPPS

Fuck This Team. Period.

The General Theory of Royaltivity

by kabrink on Jul 12, 2009 8:23 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

This has been amazing!!!!!!!!!

I will go drink some more!!!!!!!

soon to change name to, "The Not So Curious Case of Benjamin Bratt"

by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Jul 12, 2009 9:08 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

24
ridiculously huge
23 year stretch
love for baseball
sane

daytona moore
how to not lose 100 games per season
trey hillman still having his job
dumbest decision yet

trey hillman
tears from the 5 fans in attendance at non-grienke games
him pushing back zack grienke’s next start to resign and start jimmy gobble
cloned zack grienke 4 times,
cloned joakim soria 5 times,
then fire the rest of the pitching staff
and prayed the team can score one run
with one of the grienke’s on the mound
51 but soon to be 100
whoever teaches mike jacobs to hit

mike jacobs
miguel olivo
tony pena jr
kyle farnsworth
hit
field
or pitch depending on which one they’re paid to do
jimmy gobble
scott elarton
benito santiago
nobody can be ever
mike sweeney

until the royals can hit .200 as a team for a season
forever
i would like to believe in “new…blue…tradition” or that hope is coming sometime soon
we all might as well go watch the royals AA team play because that’s going to be they’re roster in 3 years anyways

by kobby on Jul 13, 2009 9:36 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

What?

I don’t speak gibberish.

by AxDxMx on Jul 13, 2009 10:02 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

Au contraire

I rather enjoyed it. The “cloning Greinkes” bit was good for a rec.

by Porcus on Jul 13, 2009 11:34 PM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

on the re-read, it does have a certain poetic quality to it

I didn’t read it all the way through the first time as I thought it was an illiterate screed against the team after the first 2 “paragraphs”.

You can open for Saul Williams when he comes back to KC, kobby. Everybody welcome to RoyalsReview Poetry Jam 2009!

by AxDxMx on Jul 14, 2009 1:35 AM EDT up reply actions   0 recs

hilarious

we need as much of this kind of thing as possible right now

*You think I'm good* "You know, that Farnsworth is pretty good." *You will give me 9 million dollars* "So, Farnsy, how does $9 million sound?"

by jackie ballgame on Jul 14, 2009 4:42 PM EDT reply actions   0 recs

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