FanPost

The Boys of Bummer

I am not falling for any of this crap about the Royals' play having any meaning right now. 

Anybody can hit free throws when there is no pressure, the cheerleaders aren't looking, and the team is 30 points down.    Just about anybody can hit a high draw two bucks plus-eighty on the driving range, with nary a tree in sight, and no beer or Nassaus riding on the outcome.    And most of us worth our salt--at least those of us who weren't sissy boys hanging out in the library reading about sabermetrics or something--can sink a double bank-shot if the shot don't count.

I love Billy Butler the way only a recovering 70's Tigers' fan can love Willie Horton, but we don't need him running his mouth anymore about "this is how you play baseball" and all of that.   He plays baseball pretty good, even if he does hit those french fries just a tad too hard.   These rest of the people in the Royals' Clowne Car Victoria, however, ought to keep the windows rolled up, because there's certainly been nobody with their foot on the "clutch," if you'll pardon the pun.    Each and every one of them, including the Massively Mustachiod Manager,  need to shut their pie-holes and start issuing a crisp "no comment" to the press.    Anything else is too annoying.

Here's how it seems to work as a Royals fans these days:   mildly interesting games in April, check.   Four months of hellish behavior during the Dog Days of Bummer, check.   One month of pressure-free "spoiler" status, check.    End result:  69 wins and 93 losses, or something, and for bonus points, a number 6 pick in the draft.  

The only thing more embarrassing than the Royals players running their mouths is the way they have run the base paths all summer.    They've been throwing up bricks all summer, they've duck-hooked everything in sight, and they don't know the right end of the pool cue.   Sorry, but I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired that I can't jump on this particular bandwagon.

Have I mentioned how the Royals can't seem to win anything when it counts?    Got that, check.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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