CDC Report: Americans no Longer at Risk of Catching Royals Fever
ATLANTA – A report released Thursday by researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta, Georgia brought a collective sigh of relief to medical workers around the nation.
"The crisis has passed," said Dr. Thomas Frieden, CDC Director. "Royals Fever is no longer considered contagious."
It all started when scattered reports of the disease began trickling in around March, primarily in rural sections of Arizona. But it was not until the beginning of April, when a large outbreak of infections occurred in the Midwest, that medical researchers became alarmed.
"We were seeing huge numbers of cases, " said Doug McCabe, spokesman for the Kansas Department of State Health Services. "There would literally be 20,000 to 30,000 new infections occurring daily."
Officials were concerned most by a record 38,098 new cases reported on April 10. Said McCabe, "To put it in perspective, that’s about the size of a small-market sports stadium at capacity."
The disease had several stages of symptoms. In the initial stage, individuals suffered from delusions and mild euphoria. As the fever progressed, however, this gave way to a soul-crushing despair.
At certain points of their illness, individuals suffering from the disease would congregate in large groups for two to three hours at a time, more often than not wearing similar apparel. It was not unlike a leper colony, except that the afflicted actually chose to be there.
"Looking back, I’m actually kind of ashamed I spent my time doing that," said Bill McDougal, a Blue Springs, MO resident who has now recovered from the disease. "But when you've caught the fever, you find yourself doing all sorts of crazy stuff."
In total, over 900,000 U.S. cases of the disease had been confirmed through laboratory testing, though officials think the actual number of infections may have been much higher. Either way, this marked the largest outbreak of its type since 1985.
"It was really a perplexing disease, and didn’t follow normal patterns of infection," stated Steve Waterman, medical epidemiologist for the CDC. "Taking precautions like hand washing and avoiding those who were infected did little to curb the spread of the disease. Similarly, there were some who would be exposed to the disease repeatedly who seemed immune from infection, while some individuals would seemingly recover from the disease but would become infected again a few days later."
"This happened over and over again, usually every fifth day or so."
While the CDC and National Health Organization were taking precautions for a potential epidemic, officials at the World Health Organization seemed unconcerned. As one anonymous official there explained, this had to do with a naturally high resistance to Royals Fever in people living outside of North America. "We just simply aren’t affected by such trivialities," he said.
There seemed to be a tipping point around mid to late May, when the number of new cases dropped dramatically. Still, health officials remained vigilant. There was a fear that, as with the 1918 Flu Epidemic, the disease was going dormant due to the rise in temperatures, only to have a stronger, more lethal strain appear in September or October.
When asked if there was a chance at this point of the disease turning into a full-fledged epidemic, Waterman laughed. "No, it’s virtually impossible. Statistically speaking, the odds are at 0%.
"It has been mathematically eliminated," he continued.
"Still, like the common flu, this is a seasonal disease, so there’s sure to be a few new infections next year, but the odds of it going national are very minute." Waterman said.
"It’s looking more and more likely that it will never happen."
25 recs |
29 comments
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Comments
how can you spend $10 dollars at Taco Bell?
I still don’t know the answer to this
by royalsreview on Sep 25, 2009 7:29 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
double up?
I’m just tossing out ideas here.
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Sep 25, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
by being awesome.....
and it was $11
Fire Everyone
by billybeingbilly on Sep 25, 2009 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
indeed.........it is awesome
and it was over/under $11
Best line of the season, by far.
by Fernando Vina School of Linguistics on Sep 25, 2009 6:23 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
i did thoroughly enjoy some tbell last night and only spent like 5.50
Fire Everyone
by billybeingbilly on Sep 27, 2009 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I Couldn't Spend
Enough money to truly enjoy eating Taco Bell food.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Sep 27, 2009 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Big Bell Box meal
and a Nachos Bell Grande.
"Do they have people that tall in Mexico?"
by NHZ on Sep 25, 2009 11:46 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
i almost got one of those the other day.....
but went with the new 1/2 pound burrito. Not bad.
by Fernando Vina School of Linguistics on Sep 25, 2009 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Tremendous
well done
Unless I'm wrong...
My Twitter feed
by Top Ramen on Sep 25, 2009 9:42 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
+1 for Roman Colon
You know its good when the rec to comment ratio is 7:3
by raefzilla on Sep 25, 2009 10:06 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I hadn't had a case this bad
In oh, about six years.
Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com
by RoyalsRetro on Sep 25, 2009 10:14 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
very nice work!
I regret the lack of statistical analysis in this post, but, otherwise, a fine effort!
StonewallPDS
by StonewallPDS on Sep 25, 2009 11:23 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
TREE-mendous
needs more whiney bitching about stat-bearing bullies, though
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Sep 25, 2009 11:29 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
har har
rec’d
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Sep 25, 2009 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Not enough references to the Process
Rec’d
"You know what, I mean I cried in bed for a while, moaning 'Why!? Why did this have to happen?'"
Zack Greinke on the Brad Pitt - Jennifer Aniston split
by DCRoyals on Sep 25, 2009 11:37 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Is a desire for Instant Gratification a symptom?
I'm not a sabermetrician, but I do play one at Driveline Mechanics.
Can't get enough of me? Check out my Twitter feed.
by devil_fingers on Sep 25, 2009 11:39 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I was looking for Trey's head somewhere in the
Roman Colon area…
"Things could always be worse." - Buddy Bell
by buddyball on Sep 25, 2009 12:30 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
I was thinking that...
it was up Yabuta
Tension is the enemy. - Charlie Lau
by aHorseWithNoName on Sep 25, 2009 1:24 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Either way
His face is going to be a real Meche when he pulls out
I've contracted a particularly virulent form of the R2D2 asshat virus. Please wash your eyeballs and keyboard after contact.
by chiefstatnut on Sep 25, 2009 1:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
and then he'll yuniesky betancourt
(I suck at puns)
by marbotty on Sep 25, 2009 2:30 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
How about
If Trey finally gets his head out, the Colon area will be Soria for weeks.
I've contracted a particularly virulent form of the R2D2 asshat virus. Please wash eyeballs & keyboard after contact.
by chiefstatnut on Sep 26, 2009 12:04 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Thank you, marbotty!
At least someone has the time to educate
I've contracted a particularly virulent form of the R2D2 asshat virus. Please wash your eyeballs and keyboard after contact.
by chiefstatnut on Sep 25, 2009 1:32 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
This was awesome!
Great job.
I wonder, at least phylogeneticly how closely related the Royals virus and the Suck virus are.
I don’t think I would be surprised. We might want to warn the CDC about that.
Sponsor of the Will Ebner Physical Therapy Center for Players Who've Been Hit By Will Ebner and Want to Try to Stop the Ringing. Or WEPTCPWBHBWEWTSR for short.
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Sep 25, 2009 2:01 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
We had about half of our 8th graders sick today.............I think the fever is spreading!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reports of its demise may have been premature.
I had 14 of my 23 kids in Homeroom gone by the end of school today. And most of the ones that were there are hacking and coughing all over the place.
Other classes that normally have about 20 kids were down in single digit-amount of students. I never got an official count, but I’d say that half of our approx. 150-160 8th graders were gone today.
Perhaps it’s because we’re home to a Royals on the Radio Affiliate (both AM & FM on your radio dial!)
by Fernando Vina School of Linguistics on Sep 25, 2009 6:27 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Best post ever. Well done.
Red dot & line coming out of your chest is always the first symptom I experience.
by steady d on Sep 26, 2009 9:40 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
I got
Royals Fever Real Bad. Thanks for the 2008 AL Central Title!
YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOARD YES!
www.reverbnation.com/czheckproductions
by Czheck on Sep 27, 2009 12:07 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Great stuff Marbotty
This is the first time I’ve linked an RR story to Facebook.
www.rockchalktalk.com for pretty good KU baseball coverage
by James Quinn on Sep 29, 2009 1:28 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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