The Root Cause Why the Royals Didn't Make the Playoffs

I have been watching the post-season with much interest trying to understand what it takes to make it and succeed in the playoffs.  It seems to help to have an amazing pitching staff, but the key I have found is.....

....rope necklances:

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It seems like player after player in the post season is wearing one.  Look at this list of fine post-season specimens showing off their bridle necklace.  

Andres Torres

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C.J. Wilson

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Elvis Andrus

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Placido Polanco

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The Royals are sitting at home while these guys are leading their teams into and through the playoffs.  Besides my observations, I found this scientific chart proving the relationship:

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With that kind of analysis, I can see how any would deny the power of the necklace.  After looking through several hundred images of Royals players, only one player worn a rope necklace for the Royals this season, Wilson Betemit:

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Was it any coincidence that the Wilson had his best season while wearing the noose rope necklace?  I think not.

The Glass's and DM need to get together and make sure the necklace is a requirement for next year's uniform. They are available for $19.95.  For the money wasted on Jose Guillen last season, over 600,000 necklaces can be purchased.  They can be given to every player and coach in the farm system and to every fan until no more are available.  Just think how easy it would be for the Royals to make the playoffs with everyone wearing a lasso necklace.  Bud Selig should just hand over the trophy.

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