Things we know about Steven Shell:

• His parents went with "Steven" over "Stephen". Interesting. They chose to use the false but now acceptable full-spelling of the common shortening of the original spelling. I'm waiting for Billiam to get the same treatment.
  
• He is a baseball player.
• He pitched for the Nationals in 2008-09. (stats) His big season was in 2008, when he threw 50 innings with the Nats. He posted a shiny 2.16 ERA that year. I'm really not sure how. OK, actually it's not that hard to figure out: a super low BABIP, an out of nowhere strand rate and fewer HRs on fly balls than could be expected.
  
• He didn't pitch much at all for the 2009 Nationals. Ended up in the Seattle system. Last year, he was aight in AAA but not much more. Dude allows a boatload of hits. Always has. Doesn't have really impressive strikeout numbers.
• He was about halfways a starter and halfways a reliever last year. 
• He will be 28 next season.
• Steven. Steven Shell. Former Mariner. Kinda.