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Around SBN: NFL Players Ready To Welcome Gay Teammate

Yes for those asking, I am going to open a bookstore. Details to come

over 1 year ago Cimg0036_tiny Freneau 80 comments 8 recs  | 

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Wow, Will

I know you’re depressed of late, but opening a fake Carl Crawford Twitter account is a bit much, yes?

Feh.

by The Ol' Perfesser on Dec 14, 2010 9:52 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm afraid the store would have to specialize in

Audio Books

The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

by SagehenMacGyver47 on Dec 15, 2010 1:21 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

That’s WAY better than the FedEx guy and Reggie Sanders. WAY better.

by BlueEyes_Austin on Dec 14, 2010 10:08 PM EST reply actions  

Your new job will be to run Carl Crawford's Bookstore

It was your idea after all, you should benefit from it! :)

by AxDxMx on Dec 14, 2010 11:05 PM EST up reply actions  

You are creating reality now

Maybe this is like “Inception” and you’re actually in your own dream right now.

The immoderate moderator

by Scott McKinney on Dec 15, 2010 3:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Too cool.....Rany was right, we should have thrown all kinds of cash at Carl....

he could have filled our cool street cred opening now that Banny is wandering in the wilderness

by Nighthawk at the Diner on Dec 14, 2010 11:34 PM EST reply actions  

+1

"Hey, maybe he really does like everyone. But if you like everyone, do you actually like anyone?" - big matt

by Crooow on Dec 15, 2010 9:28 AM EST up reply actions  

And now everything makes sense,

DM trades for Frenchy because you wrote about it.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

by Yamfun Cheng Kamfun on Dec 15, 2010 11:32 AM EST up reply actions  

Wait,

so we can blame Will for that now? Scapegoat! Awesome!

Overgay is Destiny

by DCRoyals on Dec 15, 2010 12:21 PM EST up reply actions  

He just needs to start writing about how the Royals are awesome

and will sign stars, and all their draft picks will pan out!

Will, you need to write about less depressing realities.

Could you write something about me winning the lottery for Christmas please? I’ll split it with you when I win. Thanks.

by AxDxMx on Dec 15, 2010 1:31 PM EST up reply actions  

I would love to see that phrase

in a fortune cookie. It seems stately and elegant.

Look on the bright side...we could be Pirates fans.

by Patek to Rojas to Mayberry on Dec 16, 2010 10:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Next we will see

Cliff Lee tweeting that he has destroyed his legacy

Overgay is Destiny

by DCRoyals on Dec 15, 2010 1:13 AM EST reply actions  

weird 24 hours for this blog

a fair amount of people also thought that was serious

by Freneau on Dec 15, 2010 1:15 AM EST up reply actions  

The education system really is failing people.
a fair amount of people also thought that was serious

Glad I came, just wish I hadn't stayed so long.

People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball...Rock Chalk Talk

by Warden11 on Dec 15, 2010 8:37 AM EST up reply actions  

You mean it wasn't serious?

Shit—I had a nasty -gram in the can for Cliff. Guess I’ll go ahead and delete.

"Shot by my own men."

by StonewallPDS on Dec 15, 2010 12:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Kagemusha

has become a real warrior, Martin Guerre has “returned”, the Monkees have become a real band, and Carl Crawford is opening a bookstore.

by 2X2L on Dec 15, 2010 9:37 AM EST up reply actions  

Also, this just in...

…Pittsburgh is getting a Major League team.

Look on the bright side...we could be Pirates fans.

by Patek to Rojas to Mayberry on Dec 15, 2010 9:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Kagemusha

is that a kurosawa flick? It’s ringing a bell……

The Monkeys are a real band.

"Hey, maybe he really does like everyone. But if you like everyone, do you actually like anyone?" - big matt

by Crooow on Dec 15, 2010 11:39 AM EST reply actions  

Yes

and yes, of course. But they were a fictional band first.

by 2X2L on Dec 15, 2010 11:49 AM EST up reply actions  

Now When The

Archies become a real band and Don Kirshner becomes a cartoon…………..

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Dec 15, 2010 12:20 PM EST up reply actions  

It Depends On

Your reality.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Dec 15, 2010 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Kagemusha: The Shadow Warrior

That would be a great nickname.

The kagemusha is a body-double who stands in for a real warrior. This makes your army look bigger, and the process is similar to the way that we dress Yuni up as a shortstop and have him stand between second and third.

Because of the Kurosawa film, however, the term has also come to mean that pretending you are someone can begin to transform you into that person… I’m not sure that’s gonna happen with Yuni, but repeated viewings of the film might evenually explain GMDM’s thought process with regard to such ballplayers… of course, Spoiler Alert! the film doesn’t have a happy ending.

Other potential kagemusha on the roster might include Kendall, who spent most of a season disguised as a man who can throw a baseball, Guillen, who spent three seasons disguised as a man who can catch a baseball, etc…

by kcemigre on Dec 15, 2010 2:19 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

If I were going to open a bookstore,

it would focus mainly on Jung and Graham Greene. This would keep my lease expenses low.

"Shot by my own men."

by StonewallPDS on Dec 15, 2010 12:34 PM EST reply actions  

You punked Cambridge elites.

That is so very awesome.

by BlueEyes_Austin on Dec 15, 2010 1:54 PM EST up reply actions  

Not sure I would call

the Harvard Bookstore employees “Cambridge elites,” but very awesome indeed.

Overgay is Destiny

by DCRoyals on Dec 15, 2010 2:10 PM EST up reply actions  

"Holy cow!1!1!"

Glad I came, just wish I hadn't stayed so long.

People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball...Rock Chalk Talk

by Warden11 on Dec 15, 2010 2:22 PM EST up reply actions  

You’re my hero, Will.

by NotAHippie on Dec 15, 2010 1:23 PM EST up reply actions  

BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE INTERNET

You know, in the olden days of the 1980’s, you used to sneak into somebody’s dorm room, plant a transmitter and microphone in their braces, and talk to them as if you were Jesus to get them to believe things. It was a lot more effort.

by Sweep_the_Leg on Dec 15, 2010 1:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

but you could also go ice skating in the hallways in the dorms and make your prof’s house explode with popcorn, so maybe the 80s were better after all.

Hating life as a Royals fan 365 days a year at Royalscentricity

by Old Man Duggan on Dec 16, 2010 3:44 AM EST up reply actions  

“It was intended to be a joke,” McDonald said in an e-mail, “though I wish it was true.”

Haha. This whole thing is unbelievable.

by Boots 58 on Dec 15, 2010 2:15 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm surprised you have time to comment on RR today

With all the calls/emails/requests that you must be fielding wondering where you got your scoop

by Boots 58 on Dec 15, 2010 2:21 PM EST up reply actions  

the funniest thing is that

people believe that a Royals blogger gets any sort of scoop on one of the biggest FA signings in Boston history….like their crazy media hasnt gotten pretty much every story from every angle about CC in the past week.

Fire Everyone

by billybeingbilly on Dec 15, 2010 2:25 PM EST up reply actions  

seriously

it’s from a blog called “Royals Review” filled with quotes from Carl Crawford on the streets of Boston

yep, this must be true

by Freneau on Dec 15, 2010 2:31 PM EST up reply actions  

This is from the same part of the country that brought us

“Judith Butler, super great intellectual” and “Louis Althusser, not a total joke,” so…

Making watching baseball as fun as doing your taxes.
My Twitter feed.

by Matt Klaassen on Dec 15, 2010 2:42 PM EST up reply actions  

Congratulations.

"Crimes don't pay no one but the lawyers." --Last words of executed murderer Ernest Gaither Jr., 1947

by Juancho on Dec 16, 2010 6:28 AM EST up reply actions  

Hey Will

could you please write a story about Steve Jobs’ intent to found a science- & technology-oriented school in Sonoma, California?

by 2X2L on Dec 15, 2010 2:25 PM EST reply actions  

Nothing too fancy

but definitely an award of full tuition for all students, just as Franklin W. Olin used to do. And maybe an open university program in sabermetrics.

by 2X2L on Dec 15, 2010 2:41 PM EST up reply actions  

Also hires one "Matt K."

as a “visiting lecturer” who shows up once a year, rambles incoherently, and sits at home collecting a paycheck.

Making watching baseball as fun as doing your taxes.
My Twitter feed.

by Matt Klaassen on Dec 15, 2010 2:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes

and also gym facilities open to the community. But as I said, nothing too fancy.

by 2X2L on Dec 15, 2010 2:47 PM EST up reply actions  

It would be insanely cool

If Crawford is serious in his Tweet about opening some kind of bookstore. It doesn’t have to be an antiquarian shop – just a bookstore.

Will would have succeeding in creating a bookstore through a satirical blog on a Kansas City Royals fan site. How cool and improbable is that?

And the irony of course – most of the Royals’ FO have probably never set foot in a bookstore. Well, at least they’ve never visited the statistics section.

Will – don’t ever let anyone devalue what a PhD in English Lit can do.

by jsolo on Dec 15, 2010 2:44 PM EST reply actions  

Crawford's in a great position here...

he can have the proceeds go to his charity foundation, he can easily promote it, and it will be mentioned approximately 5,000,0000 times per baseball season

at the very least, it would not lose money

by Freneau on Dec 15, 2010 3:16 PM EST up reply actions  

That's actually a surprisingly good idea

Crawford invests fifty grand or so in renting a shopfront near Harvard and then hiring a manager and a couple of part-time clerks. He calls the place “Crawford’s Sports Bookstore” and specializes in, of course, sports books. He also sets up an Amazon-type web bookshop. All the profits would go to the Jimmy Fund. Bill Simmons would promote it all over the place for free. Great publicity for Crawford, and a tax write-off as a charitable contribution.

Every single Red Sox fan who can read, and there must be at least 25,000, would buy all his Bill James annuals there. He wouldn’t be competing with the real community bookshops because they don’t carry too many books on sports, and as for Borders and Amazon, screw them, they can deal with it.

"Crimes don't pay no one but the lawyers." --Last words of executed murderer Ernest Gaither Jr., 1947

by Juancho on Dec 16, 2010 7:03 AM EST up reply actions  

even if it lost money

won’t he need a tax write off?

by stlJeff on Dec 15, 2010 3:46 PM EST up reply actions  

This is one of the coolest things in the universe

"Hey, maybe he really does like everyone. But if you like everyone, do you actually like anyone?" - big matt

by Crooow on Dec 15, 2010 4:10 PM EST reply actions  

So

when ya’ll see a story written later about how Blake Lively (or Rachel McAdams, I haven’t decided yet) is obsessed with a guy who goes by the screen name GoBabies!!, you know what my intentions are.

BOOM! ROASTED!

by GoBabies!! on Dec 15, 2010 6:12 PM EST reply actions  

No, you don't understand.

You have to get Will to write it for you.

Feh.

by The Ol' Perfesser on Dec 15, 2010 6:51 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

You can't just ask him though.

You have to will Will to write it for you.

"Hey, maybe he really does like everyone. But if you like everyone, do you actually like anyone?" - big matt

by Crooow on Dec 15, 2010 10:11 PM EST up reply actions  

prophecy doesn't work that way

the vision has to come to Will in a fit of inspiration a la the Oracle at Delphi and then he blogs about it.

Anyway, this whole Crawford-bookstore thing is awesome and hilarious. After Crawford tweeted the message I was so confused that went to check his Boston signing press conference to see if there was actually an original source besides Will.

by swing and a miss on Dec 16, 2010 12:28 AM EST up reply actions  

I agree

but McAdams has played one of the most loveable characters ever (Wedding Crashers)

BOOM! ROASTED!

by GoBabies!! on Dec 16, 2010 10:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Dare I invoke the cliche

and suggest that Will is having his fifteen minutes of fame?

Feh.

by The Ol' Perfesser on Dec 17, 2010 10:53 PM EST reply actions  

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