Moore-isms Translated

by SittinByTheFoulPole on Feb 8, 2010 4:40 PM EST

I was re-reading the pessimestic Mellinger outlook linked today and thinking about all the company lines DK has to spew out on the official site and began drafting the following. I'm really not a pessimist, but such is life as a Royals fan in 2010. I hope it's entertaining, at least. Feel free to add you own in the comments as we are certainly given enough fodder by our beloved organization.

I offer some Dayton Moore-isms and their translations after the jump.

"Competition at every position" = "No decent everyday players"

"Creating depth" = "If we soldier through enough crap maybe we'll eventually kick up a golden turd"

"Versatility" = "Not good enough to hold down any one position"

"On Base Percentage" = "Catch phrase of 2008 off-season. Similar to 'upgrade defensively' or '0-3 year players' coined for the 2009 offseason." (These are voted on at the administrative meetings following the end of the season and carry about as much weight as other company lines such as "the customer is always right" or "back to the fundamentals")

"Defensive metrics" = "Demonic vodoo that's virtually impossible understand"

"Sabermatrician" = "DM's 12 year old son and his baseball card collection" (Mystery solved)

"Strong up the middle" = "Players at the C, SS, 2B, and CF positions with excellent defensive skills according to DM's 2004 handbook - available in hard copy only." (What? They update that every year? I thought it was like the census.)

And any GMDM post would be remiss without:

"Trust the Process" = "Get off DM's back and give him some time. 8-10 years seems reasonable... at a minimum"

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Comments

I thought it was like the census.

nice work deciphering the code.

“Creating Depth” could be taken more literally. Wear some tall boots to the stadium this year.

"We’re much more athletic than we were last year." = “We’re not going to win any more games than last year, but we’ll look good in our uniforms.”

“We’re not going to blame injuries.” = “We would have been a contender if not for the injuries.”

Don't Stop Believing!

by KC Chris on Feb 9, 2010 12:03 PM EST reply actions

I was entertained!

“It All Happens Here” (the new “slogan” on the Royals website)
= “Come out to the K where you can see all kinds of Major League records broken every game (by the visiting teams)”
or “I don’t know how the hell Trey is going to assemble that line-up either – it’s a clusterf*** alright”

by Gross(est) on Feb 9, 2010 1:37 PM EST reply actions