FanPost

A Quick Recap of the 2010 Royals (so far) using Famous Movie Quotes

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Jimmy Cagney: life-long Greinke fan
via upload.wikimedia.org



What better way to summarize the current state of the 2010 Royals than to let some famous guy do it?   I'm sure that James Cagney wasn't specifically thinking about Zack Greinke when he uttered his famous line from Yankee Doodle Dandy, but he might as well have been.  Check out the following movie lines, all pulled from the American Film Institutes' top 100 movie quotes, and judge for yourself.   Were these films eerily prescient, or is it all just a stupid coincidence?  I don't know; I can't educate.

"I'm walking here! I'm walking here!"
Who said it:  Ratso Rizzo, Midnight Cowboy
Who it describes: Scott Podsednik

It's probably as surprising to you as it is to me, but Scott Podsednik is actually looking like an asset to this team.  Sure, his .371 average is unsustainable, but the career-best walk rate (9 through 20 games) might not be.  If hitting coach Kevin Seitzer's done anything for this team the last two years, it appears to be emphasizing walks.  Last year saw the majority of the team post career highs (or at least highest in several years) in walk rates; Pods' 2010 may just be the next feather in Seitzer's cap. 

Alternative movie quote:  "Here I am, you pod bastards! Hey, pods! Come and get me you scum!"   or "Open the pod bay doors, HAL."


"Nobody puts 'Baby' in a corner."

Who said it:  Johnny Castle, Dirty Dancing
Who it describes: David DeJesus

Nobody but Trey Hillman, that is.  I'm sure Patrick Swayze would have some choice words about management's handling of David DeJesus.  Considered one of the better centerfielders in the AL, and one of th efew offensive stars the team has fielded over the last few years, DDJ has been slighted repeatedly by Dayton Moore and company.  Trades for Joey Gathright, Coco Crisp, Ryan Freel, and the acquisition of Rick Ankiel were bad enough, but allowing Jose Guillen last year to dictate (purportedly) where DDJ should play in the field, was the ultimate slap in the face. 

Alternative movie quote:  "You said it man, nobody f***'s with the Jesus."  Nobody but Trey Hillman, that is.


"Show me the money!"
Who said it:  Rod Tidwell, Jerry Maguire
Who it describes: Jose Guillen

Speaking of Guillen, nobody has embodied Rod Tidwell's contract-year resurgence in the movie Jerry Maguire more so than our very own Jogui Manwich.  Essentially a non-factor his first two seasons with the Royals, Guillen has returned with a vengeance, posting an OPS above 1.000, while proving once and for all that there really is a "me" in team. 

Alternative movie quote:  "Greed, for a lack of a better word, is good."


"Here's Johnny!"
Who said it:  Jack Torrance, The Shining
Who it describes:
John Parrish

Hey, remember how when we were first introduced to Jack Nicholson's character in The Shining, he came across as really affable and good-natured, but as the movie progressed became more and more unsettling, so much so that by the end of the film (culminating with the line above) his very appearance scared the bejesus out of us?  Yeah, that's sort of how I feel about John Parrish.

Alternative movie quote:  "I see dead people."



"There's no place like home."
Who said it:  Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz
Who it describes:
Rick Ankiel

I don't know about you guys, but I cringe every time I read or hear a quote from The Wizard of Oz.  This one though, was so apt I just couldn't help myself.  Observe:

Rick Ankiel's Road Splits:  .090/.200.290
Rick Ankiel's Home Splits: .345/.375/.586

It's worth noting that Ankiel's OPS was about 70 points higher on the road than at home the last two years, so if the trend continues, Ankiel's home line should be about .035/.140/.220 at year's end.

Alternative movie quote:  none.  

"Looks like we're not in Kansas anymore."
Who said it:  Dorothy, The Wizard of Oz
Who it describes:
Mike Aviles, Luis Mendoza, Roman Colon.

Nope, now you're in Omaha.  Speaking of which...


"Why don't you come up and see me sometime."
Who said it:  Lady Lou, She Done Him Wrong
Who it describes:
Kila Ka'aihue

After all, Omaha's not that far from Kansas City, and Kila's got one hot bat, hitting .284/.422/.552 with the AAA O-Royals.  Somehow, myriad individuals outside of the organization have taken note of Kila's great spring, but Kila's been virtually ignored by those inside of it.   It makes you wonder if the GM has ever even been up there.  It's worth a trip, Dayton.

Alternative movie quote:  none.  


"Attica! Attica!"
Who said it:  Sonny Wortzik, Dog Day Afternoon
Who it describes:
Brayan Pena

We expected Pena's playing time to be eroded a bit by the arrival of Jason Kendall, but receiving only 4 at bats through 20 games?   Free Brayan Pena!

Alternative movie quote:  "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine."  (You have to picture Jason Kendall as a girl and Brayan Pena as some sort of quick-witted alcoholic for this one to work.)


"Well, nobody's perfect!"
Who said it:  Osgood Fielding III, Some Like it Hot
Who it describes:
Brian Bannister

Joe E. Brown's character, Osgood Fielding, falls madly in love with the beautiful "Daphne", who is actually Jack Lemmon in drag.  The big reveal (to Osgood, anyway) comes at the end of the film, when Jack removes his wig and reveals himself as a man.  Osgood is so smitten with the character, that he's more than willing to overlook the fact she's actually a "he".    It's not unlike Royals fans relationship with Brian Bannister.

Bannister's unlikely to ever match his inaugural performance with the Royals, (12 wins, 3.87 ERA, 1.21 WHIP), but it doesn't really matter.  He's ingratiated himself with the fan base so much that we're able to look past the fact that he's probably nothing more than just a league average pitcher.


Alternative movie quote: none.


"Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?"
Who said it:  Enrico Bandello, Little Caesar
Who it describes:
Gil Meche

This is one film on the list that I haven't seen, so forgive me if I'm using it in the wrong context, but is there a better way to describe Gil Meche's 2010 performance?   He came on like gangbusters after his arrival in KC, but his performance has been slowly declining until this year, in which it looks like he's fallen off a cliff.  16 earned runs in only 12 innings?  A strikeout-to-walk ratio of 7:12?   I'm not sure "mother of mercy" is a strong enough epithet.

Alternative movie quote: "Sweet Jesus, Gil Meche looks terrible out there!"


"You can't handle the truth!"
Who said it:  Lt. Colonel Jessup, A Few Good Men
Who it describes:
Dayton Moore and Trey Hillman

As may have been noted earlier on this site, Jessup's line was eerily similar to Moore and Hillman's infamous quotations of "I can't educate" and "Trust the process", two phrases used to exculpate their inability to articulate why the team wasn't performing up to snuff.  All three lines smack of arrogance and a disdain for the person asking the questions;  we'll see if the similarities continue, as thus far they have avoided the same fate as Jessup (dismissal). 

Jack Nicholson, coincidentally seems to own the best movie quotes list, but one was noticeably absent.  His line from As Good as it Gets coulde have easily been used to describe either Moore or Hillman:   "I think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability."


Alternative movie quote: see above.


HONORABLE MENTIONS


"I'm the king of the world!"  Titanic, Jack Soria
"Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night."  All about Eve,  could decribe anyone else in the bullpen
"Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!" 42nd Street, Alex Gordon
" Who's on First?" The Naughty Nineties, Trey Hillman of lineup card malfunction-fame
"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again."  Gone with the Wind, Billy Baconator Butler
"Shane. Shane. Come back!"  ShaneShane Costa
"Is it safe?"  Marathon Man,  Umpire Greg Gibson or 3rd Base Coach Dave Owens





This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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