I knocked off this doggerel parody of "Casey at the Bat" last night after the Royals' pathetic bottom of the ninth, and was requested to put it together in one place. So here it is.
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Royals nine today
The score was six to five with one half-inning left to play
And then when Maier died at first and Bloomquist lined to right
A deadly silence fell upon Kaufmann Stadium that night.
Then Yuniesky Betancourt stepped up to the plate
And the fans all started leaving so they wouldn’t have to wait
To get their pickups out of the K’s big parking lot
Because they knew that Yuni couldn’t hit worth a snot.
Yuni fouled off a slider and Aardsma threw him three balls wide
And it looked like for a moment that the Royals were alive
He then fouled off another, and Aardsma threw a fastball low
And the air was slightly disturbed by the force of Yuni’s blow.
Oh, somewhere in this happy land the sun is shining bright
And baseball fans don’t cry into their pillows every night
And somewhere music is playing, and somewhere children shout
But there is no joy in Cowtown – the Big Yunit has struck out.