Advanced statistics can be applied to Royals' announcers too, you know.
I have developed a rating system for announcers which I like to call the announcer's WAR/WAR rating: i.e., Wild Ass Remarks/While Announcing (for) Royals.
It's time to quit talking about our announcers' grit, hustle, etc. I propose here nothing less than an objectification of the announcers' performance. During the course of the season I shall be rating the announcers on a periodic basis, but for now, on this day of great optimisim, all announcers will start with a Zero WAR/WAR rating. Then,hypthetically, if somebody brings up their playing days at the University of Minnesota, or rhapsodizes about the virtues of bunting, their WAR/WAR rating will be adjusted, accordingly. Since I made this up, my decisions are final. I am, for present purposes, not unlike the much-maligned Thing of Icelandic legend, and expect to be treated accordingly.
Do bear in mind: a UZR (unusually zany remark) will be worth double points in this system.
Please feel free to post your predicted WAR/WAR ratings for your favorite announcer in the comments. I shall give such predictions due regard.