So, yeah, he is really, really bad.

The best use I can think of for Farnsworth is that we put him in whenever we have to hit somebody – say, somebody who’s crossed the pitcher’s mound or some other outrageous affront. Farnsy nails him right in the ass with a 100-mph fastball and then charges the plate while screaming “Banzai!”, beating the crap out of three guys and the first-base coach, before he is wrestled to the ground and is suspended for ten games.

Everyone else stays in the dugout, since Farnsy can beat up their whole team by himself.

This has several advantages:

a) The score is settled, in our favor.
b) No good players get suspended or hurt.
c) Farnsy can’t pitch in the next ten games.