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Kila Ka'aihue: 45 BB, 1 Wrecked Beeramid

May 27, 2010.  Johnny Rosenblatt Stadium.  Dollar beer night.  What started as a drunken whim near the third-base dugout became an ironic metaphor for the career of Kila "Archibald 'Moonlight' Graham" Ka'aihue.

Star-divide

So there we were, I and a group of friends and family, enjoying Thirsty Thursday.  We were many and we immediately decided to build a beeramid with our refuse.  A few innings later it was already a monument to humanity, when suddenly a baseball came sailing out of the dugout and destroyed it.  One of the ground crew members was the culprit.  In spite of the cruelty alotted us by the gods, we pressed on and rebuilt.


A few innings later, it was a grand beeramid indeed, with a five-can-per-side base and nearly complete on top, when another baseball flew out and smashed apart our dreams.  This time it was either Irving Falu or one of the O-Royals coaches - we weren't sure.  We secured the ball and pressed on again.

Finally, late in the game, after strangers in the section had pitched in with their own proceeds, behold our triumph:

Kilamid_medium

via i303.photobucket.com

Yes, we took one of the baseballs that had stung us, and used it to complete a masterpiece.  Yet one final time, a baseball flew out and shattered it.  This time we were vigilant, and we saw the culprit running away and laughing: none other than #15, Kila Ka'aihue.

As our art lay in shambles on the ground, I reflected on how closely it represented him.  It had a firm foundation, solid progress, and finally blossomed into the best damned beeramid you could hope for... and then all its potential was constantly wasted by powers on high.  Maybe that was why he destroyed it.  I couldn't really blame him.

On the other hand, Kila, we will never forget nor forgive what you did, you bastard.

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Comments

Display:

Oh yes.

Every Thursday home game, 12 oz cans of High Life and Busch Light are just $1! (So are small sodas, but whatever. Those are entirely beside the point.)

WTF, self?

by minda33 on Jun 6, 2010 2:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

I'm Building A

Pipeline.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 6, 2010 3:07 AM EDT up reply actions  

One Dollar Apiece

And no one cares if it leaks.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 6, 2010 3:09 AM EDT up reply actions  

of course

it still couldn’t hurt to have a crew on standby for immediate and effective cleanup just in case

by wildthang on Jun 6, 2010 3:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

I Have Volunteers

Lined up.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 6, 2010 3:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

Unless you can do it quickly

you’d better look in the Papillion real-estate ads instead.

Chaim Mattis Keller New York City's # 1 Royals fan!

by cmkeller on Jun 7, 2010 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

Isn't that against the law?

I thought you couldn’t promote alcohol prices. That’s why they’re always coy on the radio “come in and drink for two George Washingtons!”

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Jun 7, 2010 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

Tulsa Drillers also have $1 beer nights

Royals, NBA, Golden Hurricane, Hawkeyes, Chiefs, and KU basketball, in that order.

by Rowyal on Jun 9, 2010 7:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

As do the New Orleans Zephyrs.

also Thirsty Thursdays

Kansas City Royals: your 2006 and 2007 NL Central champions!

by mazoboom on Jun 9, 2010 8:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

And the Naturals

Have $1 beers on Thirsty Thursdays as well

I once had hope...now I have Moore.

by Dubya on Jun 9, 2010 12:36 PM EDT up reply actions  

that varies from state to state

Kansas is wacky. Can’t promote prices, cant give away promos, cant have happy hour. You can have a tuesday drink special (advertised internally), but you cant change a price during the day for happy hour or entertainment surcharge.

Missiouri is different, still strange but not as out there.

~~~if there is one thing i absolutely know for sure its... ummmm uhhh.... uhhh

nevermind

by who am i? on Jun 10, 2010 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions  

I like the guy wearing the Gordon shersey right in front

with the girl doing the “i’m in a hair commercial” thing

by Freneau on Jun 6, 2010 2:53 AM EDT reply actions  

This Isn't A

Hair commercial?

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 6, 2010 3:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

For what it's worth,

This particular Thirsty Thursday was also Jersey Shore night. If you look closely you can see minda33’s “poof” beyond the hand railing.

by Porcus on Jun 6, 2010 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

OT: when I was at the KC game Saturday night

my unscientific poll of sherseys was that Xaq was #1 by far, but Gordon was #2 in popularity.
On a disappointing/funny point, I saw one Ankiel and one Pena shersey.

"Things could always be worse." - Buddy Bell

by buddyball on Jun 7, 2010 1:11 PM EDT up reply actions  

Tony Pena Jr, I assume

Would you like to follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or my blog...well you can't.

by SagehenMacGyver47 on Jun 7, 2010 1:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh man

I went to the Royals game on Saturday, and I always play the game of “what is the most obscure jersey I can find?” And I think I finally topped myself.

JAIME CERDA!!!!!

Wow.

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Jun 7, 2010 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

Are you sure it wasn't the real Jaime Cerda?

Chaim Mattis Keller New York City's # 1 Royals fan!

by cmkeller on Jun 7, 2010 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

I also saw some John Buck shirts

and Frank White, but not Cerda
I, myself, was wearing my RoyalsReview shirt

"Things could always be worse." - Buddy Bell

by buddyball on Jun 7, 2010 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah but John Buck shirts were a free giveaway.

I don’t think the free ones should count the way the others do. I mean, maybe it’s the only clean Royals shirt they had?

by Gross(est) on Jun 8, 2010 10:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

actually saw a HILLMAN one

no mullet tho, guy had a rattail!

~~~if there is one thing i absolutely know for sure its... ummmm uhhh.... uhhh

nevermind

by who am i? on Jun 10, 2010 2:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

It was also a momentous occasion in that it marks the only time in his career

that Irving Falu will share the lead with Kila in an offensive stat.

batter nine you sucky

by marbotty on Jun 6, 2010 7:25 AM EDT reply actions  

This is classic

Thank you

Jamie freakin Wright, nuff said.

by Gantz9 on Jun 6, 2010 11:23 AM EDT reply actions  

Awesome.

Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ri-tard.

by Clearly Ambiguous on Jun 6, 2010 12:12 PM EDT reply actions  

No wonder DMGM is keeping Kila in exile.

Un American punk destroying beer worshipers pyramid of glory.

It would be interesting to see dollar beer night in KC. It might turn into a worse catastrophe than Disco Demolition night in Chicago.

by hunter s. royal on Jun 6, 2010 1:23 PM EDT reply actions  

The A's Handed

Out like 20,000 free green bats to kids one night. I think little league teams got in free that night.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 6, 2010 4:44 PM EDT up reply actions  

I believe the Brewers had a $1 beer night years ago

that coincided with giving away free minibats at the door. Oops.

Don't Stop Believing!

by KC Chris on Jun 7, 2010 5:07 PM EDT up reply actions  

the indians

10 cent beer night was epic. What could possibly go wrong!

~~~if there is one thing i absolutely know for sure its... ummmm uhhh.... uhhh

nevermind

by who am i? on Jun 10, 2010 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

I Was Playing

At a bar in Seward where they gave away shots of Wild Turkey Liqueur (they’d ordered it by accident). The singer in our band kept talking them into extending it until it went on for the first two sets. Hilarity ensued, and the bar was empty half way through the third set.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 10, 2010 5:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

You can call them Whitey Whackers

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Jun 7, 2010 2:10 PM EDT up reply actions  

These Pretzels are making me thirsty!

Coffee. The NEW Performance Enhancing drug for Sport's Writers. Just ask Ken Rosenthal.

by 306008 on Jun 10, 2010 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

FREE HOT DOG NIGHT

Wednesday June 16th I believe.

by AxDxMx on Jun 7, 2010 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

That Should Be

A pretty crowd

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Jun 7, 2010 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions  

Fun!

If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark that throws people up until they have to open a beach.

by ratherfantastic on Jun 6, 2010 4:37 PM EDT reply actions  

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