Shave 30 years off your roster in Three Easy Trades! (and a few other roster moves).
by kcemigre on Aug 2, 2010 12:22 PM EDT
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Scientists researching MLB rosters have recently discovered that between July 20 and August 1, the Royals' 25-man roster got 30 years younger! This miracle was reportedly the result of a series of transformation that resulted in:
A. Callaspo, D. DeJesus, K. Farnsworth, A. Lerew, V. Marte, S. Podsednik and R. Tejeda
becoming:
G. Blanco, B. Bullington, J. Chavez, A. Gordon, G. Holland, K. Ka'aihue and S. O'Sullivan.
The biggest single move (age-wise) came from replacing Podsednik with Holland on July 29th (10-year differential). But the biggest single-day change came from converting Ankiel and Farnsworth into Blanco and Chavez (12-year combined differential).
Research shows that before the Callaspo trade, the Royals' 25-man had a collective age of 718 years. As of this morning, however, that number sits at 688 years. By dividing those numbers by another number (believed to be "25"), scientists have revealed that the average age of the active roster two weeks ago was 28.72 years old, and today it's at an average of 27.52 years. This reportedly means that your average Royal is now 1.2 years younger than he was just a couple of weeks ago.
More importantly, the Royals climbed from the middle-back side of the aging curve back onto the leading edge, meaning that the team age will hit peak performance just one year from now!
2011, baby!
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Right now...
I really wish I had a GIF of the In Living Color “Keep Hope Alive” skit…
by wentToARoyalsGameBeforeRR on Aug 2, 2010 1:21 PM EDT up reply actions
just wait til we dump Guillen and bring up Herges...
that’ll do wonders for this age thing.
Book the Plaza bitches! Woo Hoo!!
Above is a picture of the medical suite where the Royals medical staff performed the un-aging protocol. It is believed to encompass stem cells, a 12v battery, Big League Chew Bubble gum, and a mixture of ground up Unicorn horn, and Willie Bloomqist extract.
Given enough velocity even a pig will fly
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Aug 2, 2010 2:04 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Yes, indeed. This is much better.
Given enough velocity even a pig will fly
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Aug 2, 2010 2:48 PM EDT up reply actions
One week earlier,
those same scientists researching MLB rosters were shocked to their core to discover a baseball team still playing Jason Kendall, Scott Podsednik and Jose Guillen nearly every day. “It is the baseball equivalent to finding a lost community of Neanderthals!” said one man claiming to be a baseball roster scientist.
“We were further amazed to also find Bruce Chen and Kyle Farnsworth not only still alive, but actually pitching regularly on this most curious “lost tribe” of a “baseball team.” When Willie Bloomquist wandered into the clubhouse, well, that was just too much for or more skeptical colleagues. One said, “Okay, screw it, I am calling shenanigans now. No way this is a real team.”"
www.rockchalktalk.com for pretty good KU baseball coverage
by James Quinn on Aug 2, 2010 3:38 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
The Diaspora Of
This tribe has begun.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Aug 2, 2010 4:01 PM EDT up reply actions
Love that word.
- "But Frank, that's the worst shortstop in the league."
- "That's what they keep tellin' me."
Has Anyone Ever
Seen Yu-Bet’s birth certificate?
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
Its indistinguishable from a ticket to a Haunted House......
Not only that, but he’s obviously a socialist trying to instill nefarious communists plots authored by Saul Alinsky…….rich people, run for your lives…..with every PA by Yuni-bet, the marginal increase on the very rich could increase from 35 to 39% AHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!
by Nighthawk at the Diner on Aug 2, 2010 4:15 PM EDT up reply actions
Good Question.
And Yuni’s a good yardstick, too, since—if his listed age were to be trusted—he is now an older-than-average Royal, and before these trades he was a younger-than-average Royal.
That would be a nice marketing slogan: “Your Kansas City Royals: Now Younger than Yuni!”
Now Yuni Free!
Would be better. He’s really starting to bug me now that LOBster, the Professor and Podz are gone. My disgust with GMDM’s acquisitions is more narrowly focused now.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Aug 2, 2010 5:42 PM EDT up reply actions
well yeah...
…that would be better.
Right now, I’d settle for a couple of waiver deals involving Guillen and Bloomquist.
The Giants still haven’t landed a hitter, you know. They wanted a hitter… and Dunn’s not available… and, well… you know where I’m headed with this. And everyone wants grit, right? (actually, I’d be happy with a slogan like: “Now 30% less Gritty”).
He is Cuban tough right?
It must be the tabacco that helps them age so well. Fidel Castro is like 157 years old.
err....marginal tax rate....forget about it anyways...
Left wing, right wing, etc…etc…etc….We all be Royals for better or for worse, and if Royals fans can’t treat each other with dignity, who the fuck can?
by Nighthawk at the Diner on Aug 2, 2010 4:22 PM EDT reply actions
We are a small group considered bizarre by the rest of the world
So yeah, it’s probably better to maintain a united front.
"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" - Unfortunate cricket commentator
The average age of KC's roster was a big concern for a "rebuilding" team
How can the Royals honestly say they are looking to the future, etc when you look at the roster and the average age is thinking about AARP?Cutting those guys loose and getting younger in return is the right direction. Another condemning fact from last year was the lack of players making their ML debut.
It is a good start this year – Wood, Texiera, Holland and we’ll see a few more in the last 2 months. Still surprised at how young O’Sullivan is. It is good for KC. Expect more to come in 2011 with Moustakas and at least 4 pitchers to KC.
"This reportedly means that your average Royal is now 1.2 years younger than he was just a couple of weeks ago. "
Genius.
"Strikeouts are boring! Besides that, they're fascist. Throw some ground balls - it's more democratic."
You have to update this again,
The average Royal became younger again, right?
Glad I came, just wish I hadn't stayed so long.
People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball...Rock Chalk Talk
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