FanPost

The Surprise Death March

Here's to hoping that Spring Training ends at some point. 

We have grown old together during this Spring Training season.   The world has endured earthquakes, wars and rumors or war.    More close to home, so to speak, when this Spring Training started, Tim Collins was 6 feet tall.   I hear Collins has now shrunk to 5' 4", and, because his throwing arm has fallen off, his playing weight has dropped 12 pounds.    Let's call him the Royals' Owen Meany this season, and hope he doesn't suffer the same fate.   Say your prayers for Tim Collins, my friends.

Say your prayers for Bob Dutton too.   He has now written 17 straight articles for the KC Star about how various Royals used to be fat, and how they are now in the "best shape of their lives."   None of these claims are true.  Poor guy.   How many fatties can the Royals have, by the way?   Why is it so hard for professional athletes to keep their BMI under the speed limit?  Maybe the clubhouse buffets need to be dailed back abit, no?    In any event, I hope Dutton gets a nice per diem in Arizona for what he has gone through for the last six months of Spring Training. 

For true Royals fans, who know that 2011 will be the Last Lost Year of the Lost Decade (or two), I think this coming season will be akin to a long riff in a Rush tune:  you just have to endure it to get to the good stuff, the lyrics that will change your life, stuff like "if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice."   Tell that to Billy Butler the next time he approaches that clubhouse buffet, and Dutton will be out of a job.

The 2011 season is indeed the 2012 Overture, and this death-march overture to 2011, known as Spring Training,  is almost over.    

Can I hear an amen?

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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