Sean O`Sullivan Is A Model. Of Something

SURPRISE AZ - FEBRUARY 23: Sean O'Sullivan #37 of the Kansas City Royals poses for a portrait during Spring Training Media Day on February 23 2011 at Surprise Stadium in Surprise Arizona.. (Photo by Jonathan Ferrey/Getty Images)

We've got something here. Something we can work with. Well, assuming Sean O`Sullivan is alive. Or maybe that doesn't even matter. The Royals, in their need to assemble as many back of the rotation starters as possible, may have taken to having wax figures made. And that works too, for our purposes.

Because, we've got a picture we can use here. Staring away from the camera, Sean O`Sullivan has found the magic zone of masculine imperviousness. He can be anything we want him to be: defiant, reserved, proud, anxious, distracted, focused. Anything. Dead, alive. Anything. In any case, we should hold onto the jpeg.

  • Toe the Rubber, Sean O`Sullivan's hard-rock album, should he choose to make it, now has an album cover.
  • The People's Worker Party of some as yet unformed state has a good default image for propaganda posters. Or, if you prefer, he can be in a military uniform gazing upon a flag or a tank or something.
  • But he's also got that beard, which in our weird culture means one of two contradictory things: he's either something of a boorish slob or that he's thoughtful and cares about art and has a precious sense of humor. "Sean O`Sullivan's new collection of poems Lizard Brain challenges us to recalibrate our senses...."
  • Is he thinking about something else? Is he focused? Calm or filled with rage? Is he gathering himself or losing himself with thoughts of a happier time. Sounds like your standard stock middle aged male in an Oscar winning drama. You know the type. Dennehy or Bridges or Duval or one of those guys plays a complete jerk who has never said anything to anyone for thirty years, yet somehow this means he's strong and wise and the whole movie builds up to some scene where his son finally blows up at him or gets arrested or whatever and instead of actually doing anything, the Dad responds with some gnomic story about the 1975 Colts that means nothing and accomplishes nothing but everyone pretends means something and loves because, well, that's what they've been doing for the last 30 years anyway. Now, we've got a body double.
  • And finally, the baseball movie. What scene is taking place here? Well, what do we want? Is O`Sullivan the bad guy who just gave up the game-losing home run to the hero. He certainly looks like a man who just saw his worldview shattered. Or, did the coach just leave the mound, telling him to blankety blank focus and throw strikes, shortly before the game winning strikeout? Or, is he simply a B character who is watching from the dugout in absolute terror?
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