FanPost

A RR Digital Short: Like a Hos

Mr. Hosmer, thanks for joining us today

No problem
So you're a badass around here, is that fair to say?
Absolutely, I'm The Hos
Okay, so take us through a day in the life of "The Hos"
Well the first thing I do is...



Talk to to Dayton! (Like a Hos!)
Approve the lineup! (Like a Hos!)
Lead a workout! (Like a Hos!)
Remember Fanfest! (Like a Hos!)
Direct my teammates! (Like a Hos!)
My own BP! (Like a Hos!)
Adcock to the bullpen! (Like a Hos!)
Promote Wil Myers! (Like a Hos!)
Hit on Misty May! (Like a Hos!)
Get rejected. (Like a Hos.)
Swallow sadness. (Like a Hos.)
Go to practice! (Like a Hos!)
Call a meeting! (Like a Hos!)
Show leadership! (Like a Hos!)
Demand better play! (Like a Hos!)
Eat a Baconator! (Like a Billy!)
Talk to The Moose! (Like a Hos!)
Go to Olive Garden! (Like a Hos!)
Do math for the news! (Like a Moose!)
Get back to the game! (Like a Hos!)
Try for the Scoreboard! (Like a Hos!)
Come up just short! (Like a Hos!)
Oh frack man I can't fracking do it... damn!
Jack one out! (Like a Hos!)
Round the bases! (Like a Hos!)
Score some runs! (Like a Hos!)
In your faces! (Like a Hos!)
Crash into my teammates! (Like a Hos!)
Hear the fans yell! (Like a Hos!)
Beat the White Sox! (Like a Hos!)
Eat some Taco Bell! (Like a Hos!)
Spent 11 dollars! (Like a Hos!)
Black out on the toilet! (Like Dan Cortes!)
Meet a giant Tiger! (Like a Hos!)
F*** its brains out! (Like a Hos!)
Turn into a jet! (Like a Hos!)
Bomb the Indians! (Like a Hos!)
Crash into the Twins! (Like a Hos!)
Now I'm dead! (Like a Hos!)

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then?
No doubt
You eat Taco Bell and die?
Hell yeah
And I think at one point there you said something about hitting on Misty May?
Nope!
Actually I'm pretty sure you did
Nah, that ain't me
Okay, well this has been eye opening for me
I'm the Hos
Yeah, no I got that. You said it about four-hundred times
I'm the Hos
Yeah yeah I got it!
I'm the Hos
No I heard you, see ya later
LIKE A HOS!

With apologies to The Lonely Island and Andy Samberg. Thanks goes to iNaLeXwEtRuSt for the idea. Link to the original on Hulu: Like a Boss. (NSFW)

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.