FanPost

Numerology God (Don Fortune) effectively rends thoughts of non-believers with prescient revelation

At this point, it's likely common knowledge among die-hard Royals fans that the sudden disappearance of local TV media dignitary Don Fortune in 1998 was a divine act. His late-April "resurrection" in 2003, we now know, was in fact the product of wholly natural shenanigans. Regardless, the Kansas City underground newspaper The Midwest Comatoser's crack staff of investigative vegans were relentless in their intrepid pursuit of The Truth: that, while trying to hail a cab in downtown Kansas City in late April of 2003, Don Fortune suddenly and righteously transmogrified into a wondrous vapor, and ascended into the upper-atmosphere, and, perhaps, "Heaven." Ergo, and therefore, even, it kind of figures that such a complex mind would make his temporally challenged spirit to "out" itself by virtue of a mathematical marvel: Friends, The Fortunate Son has given us the gift of supernatural foresight; Grand Moff Don has aligned the cuerpos divinos and made it so, on this holy day of 4/22/2011, we are precisely 12.3456789012345678901234567890% of the way through the season. The last time this happened was on 4/29/2010, almost Three Hundred and Sixty-Five days ago. An Earthian Year. That is all. Also, apologies.At this point, it's likely common knowledge among die-hard Royals fans that the sudden disappearance of local TV media dignitary Don Fortune in 1998 was a divine act.

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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