"Bruce Springsteen, Madonna/Way before Nirvana/There was U2 and Blondie/And music still on MTV/Her two kids in high school/They tell her that she's uncool/Cause she's still preoccupied/With 19, 19, 1985." Bowling for Soup, "1985"
Dayton Moore, after reviewing past posts at Royals Review comparing the Royals to albums by Soundgarten and REM, decides that he can gather ideas concerning his decision heading into 2012, by listening to his old cassette tapes. As the Royals won the World Series in 1985, Dayton chooses "The Boss" of all albums from 1985, Bruce Sprinsteen's "Born in the USA." This was one of his favorite albums when he was 18 years old, driving around in his gold 1979 Camaro Z-28 (with T-TOPS!), kicker Alpine stereo, and cruising Douglas in Wichita, Kansas drinking wine coolers and trolling for Catholic girls from Kapaun Mount Carmel.
- "Born in the USA" - DM remembers the debate that occurred when Ronald Reagan used this song in his campaign believing that the song was patriotic when it really was a song about how Vietnam vets were treated upon returning from the Vietnam War. DM thinks that if the popular (or uninformed) opinion of the song is that it is patriotic, DM should be contrarian and do the opposite. DM increases scouting in Latin America and the Caribbean by 20% and makes plan to start the first baseball academy in China and the Far East. Second choice is that DM hears "kill the yellow man" and releases Bruce Chen.
- "Cover Me" - "Outside's the rain, the driving snow/I can hear the wild win blowing/Turn out the light, bolt the door/I ain't going out there no more." DM realizes that his strengths are building a farm system and making minor free agent acquisitions that can be traded for more prospects, but that he has a less than stellar track record in making blockbuster trades and/or free agent signings. Promising that there will be no more Jose Guillen signings, DM hires Matt Klaasen "Devil Fingers" and gives him a budget of $30 million a year to sign and/or trade for an ace and a #3 starter.
- "Darlington County" - DM sees this as an a sign that he should visit Darlington County, South Carolina. Forgetting that the Royals no longer have a minor league affiliate in the South, DM heads up to Wilmington and decides to promote Jake Odorizzi and Noel Arguelles to NWA with a plan to seriously consider Odorizzi for the major league roster in 2012.
- "Working on the Highway" - "I saved up my money, and I put it all away." DM remembers the generosity of Gil Meche's retirement and talks to David Glass about increasing payroll to $90 million for 2012.
- "Downbound Train" - "I had a job, I had a girl/I had something mister in this world/I got laid off down at the lumber yard/Our love went bad, times got hard." DM finally decides that, even with his stuff, Kyle Davies will never be a consistent pitcher and does not offer Davies a contract when he becomes a free agent.
- "I'm on Fire" - "Sometimes its like someone took a knife baby/Edgy and dull and cut a six inch valley/Through the middle of my skull." Dayton decides to give Ned Yost a lobotomy.
- "No Surrender" - "With a vow to defend/No retreat, baby, no surrender." DM realizes that defense is important, and if Escobar keeps hitting, he will be an important asset to the organization given his defense. Cain is called up in early July to evaluate his defense.
- "Bobby Jean" - "But just to say I miss you baby, good luck, goodbye, Bobby Jean" DM trades Melky.
- "I'm Going Down" - "I'm sick and tired of you setting me up/Setting me up just to knock-a, knock-a, knock-a me down." DM realizes that the A's have raped the Royals in trades at the deadline and refuses to take any phone calls from Billy Beane.
- "Glory Days" - "Yeah just sitting back trying to recapture/A little of the glory of, well time slips away/And leaves you with nothing mister but/Boring stories of glory days." DM realizes that it has been 25 years since the Royals have won a championship, 25 years! A whole generation of basebal fans have grown up without the Royals being relevant, and other than adding the baby blue pants to the baby blue top (and Halter Top Day!) and getting a statute of Splittorf commissioned, recalling the teams of the 70s and 80s will not put butts in the seats or make the Royals playoff contenders. However, TV ads with Eric Hosmer and Mike Moustakas that echos the TV ads with George Brett and Johnny Damon could certainly be an effective marketing tool.
- "Dancing in the Dark." DM remembers that a young Courtney Cox was in this video, looking rather hot in a white T-Top. Given that Courtney is now a Cougar, DM institutes Wet T-Shirt Wednesdays with the Kane County Cougars. Will McDonald happily agrees to MC the event.
- "My Hometown" DM realizes that he cannot continue to be the 8 year old sitting on his father's lap driving through town. DM has now been out of the Atlanta Braves organization (his hometown) for six years and his reliance on signing ex-Braves players due to his knowledge of the Atlanta system will not yield dividends given that he has not been with the Braves for six years.
After taking notes and putting them in his Trapper Keeper and getting the last peach Bartles & James wine cooler from the backseat, Dayton proceeds at 90 MPH to the Darkness at the Edge of Town thinking that his Nebraska pipeline will not keep Kansas City in the Wastelands for much longer and that the Royals will finally be able to exorcise The Ghost of Ross Gload (or Tom Joad).
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