Mitch Maier Writes Home from Baseball Camp - my edition

Dear Mom and Dad:


You wont believe what happened. 


We went to a place called Boston, and the pepple all talk like Mikey Viles and Timmy.  I can not enderstand what they say all the time, even though some of the guys let me watch Jerzey Shore the other night.  They made me leave when Snooky did the smooch smooch.  It is funy that our wiener dog is named Snooky too.


Anyway, we played the Red Sox on Monday and the game went way past my bedtime.  I was so tired!  It was raining real hard when the game was supposed to start, and Coach Kevin said we should go back in the clubhouse to take a nap.  I wanted to but I was scared as the last time I took a nap Frenchy put shaving creem in my hand and tickled my nose which made me put shaving creem on my face.  I still like Frenchy, sort of.


Anyway, on Monday I was sitting in my place on the bench eating sunflower seeds and the game lasted SO LONG.  I went threw five bags of sunflower seeds and did not get to play even though noone could score a run.  I almost fell asleep, but I kept looking at the crowd to see if the Sittuation or Jwow was in the crow, their my favorites.  Eric finally scored a run and everyone likes him.  Coach Ned made me sweep the sunflower seeds up as I did not take a shower after the game as I did not play.


On Tuesday I did not start the game and everyone kep getting hits both our team and the other team.  Coach Bob and Coach Ned were talking real loud and Coach Bob said something like he's xspendable and looked at me.  Coach Ned said I was going to pitch!  Fat Billy said something like that is nedtarded, but I went out anyway.  I got to the mound and everyone was looking at me!


The first guy that I pitched to was trying to hit for something called the cycle and would hit for the cycle if he hit a home run.  I do not know what the cycle was and I thought that he would win a bycycle or something if he hit a home run.  I thoght that if he did not hit a home run, I would win the bycycle.  I need one as the guys gave my bycycle to a new guy named Moose.  I tried my best and the guy hit it high to the big wall in left.  Alix caught it!  He did not even have to jump like I did last week.  I asked Coach Ned about my bycycle after the game and he said he would think about it.


The next guy was named Big Poppy or something and he was big.  I threw the ball and he hit really hard and high.  I thught it was a home run but it hit the big wall and Melky threw it back in.  Big Poppy only got to second.  If it was my friend Jarod he would have got a home run and be on the bench steeling my sunflower seeds.  I was scared but only for a second.


The next guy came up and hit a line drive towards second.  I thought that my friend Chris was playing second and forgot that Mikey was playing second and felt a little sad.  Last week, we had this guy named Lee Judge come talk to us and he said Chris never makes a mistake so I wanted Chris to be playing second.  Mikey did goot and caught the ball on a bounce and threw it to Eric.  Two outs!


The next guy broke his bat when he hit my pitch!  It popped up and I caught it and ran to the dugout.  I new I did good but I was scared that French was going to hit me in the nads or something so I went to the bathroom to hide.  I came out in a little bit and talked to Coach Ned and he said I did good!  There was another guy sitting in the stands and he only had sunglasses and boxer shorts on.  I asked him how he thught I did and he said something about small sample size and that I need a 3rd pitch.  I told him that I only get to play once in a while so all my playing is small sample size.


i think that I really like pitching and could play more if I pitched.  Some of the pitchers play every six days which is moor than me.  Coach Bob said that I shuld go talk to a guy on the other team named Timmy Wakefuld and he could teach me a nuckleball.  I think I might take some sunflower seeds to Timmy tomorrow and ask real nice if he could teach me the nuckleball.  If I could be a pitcher I would be able to go to baseball camp earlier and I know that Dad would like this.



This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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