FanPost

More Adventures from Summer Baseball Camp: Sulky Billy writes a song

 

Hello Faddah, Hello Muddah,

Here I am to write annudah

Note from Kauffman - just a quick one.

Just to vent about these young guys ‘fore I kick one.

I don’t under - stand this roster.

Gave my spot to Eric Hosmer

He might be a little longer

But my badass doughboy physique is much stronger

 

They just brought back Danny Duffy

He says I look somewhat "fluffy"

No respect from these dumb rookies

Not one of them even brought me Keebler cookies

Then there’s Chris Getz, he’s in favor

Even more than Luke Hochevar

Coach just plays them for aesthetics

That’s my guess because they lack baseball genetics

 

Take meeee home, oh Faddah Muddah

Trade meeee oh, oh to anuddah

Team that doesn’t think their Minor

League system has won it already.

Take meee home, I promise I will not make scowls

Or other mean looks with my jowls

Oh please don’t make me stay

I’ve been here since Baird’s days...

 

The locker room is depressing

Must be careful when undressing

Don’t turn around if there’s a clang

It's just Frenchy helicoptering his wing-wang.

Then there’s Melky when I’m showering

In that stall it’s... overpowering

Learned his lesson ‘bout his bowels

Now he’s pooping every time his stomach growls.

 

Dearest Muddah, darling Faddah

I don’t know why I should boddah.

With this team that’s always losing

Mitch Maier’s the only one I find amusing.

Wait a minute - there’s a Wendy’s

Want a triple burger with cheese

And a frosty to give me reason

Muddah Faddah to finish out all this season!

 

 

This FanPost was written by a member of the Royals Review community. It does not necessarily reflect the views of the editors and writers of this site.

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