More Adventures from Summer Baseball Camp: Sulky Billy writes a song

by Tracer Bullet 82 on Jul 28, 2011 4:41 PM EDT

Hello Faddah, Hello Muddah,

Here I am to write annudah

Note from Kauffman - just a quick one.

Just to vent about these young guys ‘fore I kick one.

I don’t under - stand this roster.

Gave my spot to Eric Hosmer

He might be a little longer

But my badass doughboy physique is much stronger

They just brought back Danny Duffy

He says I look somewhat "fluffy"

No respect from these dumb rookies

Not one of them even brought me Keebler cookies

Then there’s Chris Getz, he’s in favor

Even more than Luke Hochevar

Coach just plays them for aesthetics

That’s my guess because they lack baseball genetics

Take meeee home, oh Faddah Muddah

Trade meeee oh, oh to anuddah

Team that doesn’t think their Minor

League system has won it already.

Take meee home, I promise I will not make scowls

Or other mean looks with my jowls

Oh please don’t make me stay

I’ve been here since Baird’s days...

The locker room is depressing

Must be careful when undressing

Don’t turn around if there’s a clang

It's just Frenchy helicoptering his wing-wang.

Then there’s Melky when I’m showering

In that stall it’s... overpowering

Learned his lesson ‘bout his bowels

Now he’s pooping every time his stomach growls.

Dearest Muddah, darling Faddah

I don’t know why I should boddah.

With this team that’s always losing

Mitch Maier’s the only one I find amusing.

Wait a minute - there’s a Wendy’s

Want a triple burger with cheese

And a frosty to give me reason

Muddah Faddah to finish out all this season!

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Comments

Tremendous

There’s so much low-quality song parody work on the web that I generally dread opening any thread that promises one. Thanks for a very pleasant suprise. Hell, you didn’t even cheat on the cadence. :)

by WaywardSaint on Jul 28, 2011 5:01 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks...

I try :)

by Tracer Bullet 82 on Jul 28, 2011 11:20 PM EDT up reply actions

For some disturbing reason,

I can actually picture Frenchy helicopter-ing his wing wang in the locker room

by higs on Jul 28, 2011 5:22 PM EDT reply actions

With a smile...

Leadership.

by Tracer Bullet 82 on Jul 28, 2011 6:19 PM EDT up reply actions

And those eyes...

SBN's most random and mysterious lurker
though I do love Royals Review
Follow me on Twitter if you want: Lum_SM

by Lum on Jul 28, 2011 6:29 PM EDT up reply actions

Classic!!

by Stook on Jul 28, 2011 5:28 PM EDT reply actions

My apologies to Will for hijacking his joke...

…but I heard the real version of this song on the radio today, and all I could think about was little Mitch Maier…

by Tracer Bullet 82 on Jul 28, 2011 5:32 PM EDT reply actions

Excellent work.

rec’d

I'm waiting for my wave of talent to arrive.

by mitchfreakingmaier! on Jul 28, 2011 5:36 PM EDT reply actions

"He was traded by Oakland for David DeJesus
To be the fifth starter for Dayton and Yost
His minor league stats made it seem he was ready
But during spring training his arm looked like toast" --Not Warren Zevon

by Juancho on Jul 29, 2011 1:17 AM EDT reply actions