The GMDM Acquisition All Stars

Recent posts, particularly by Will and RoyalsRetro, reminded me how much more fun it is to watch players suck when they at least have potential. Looking at today’s lineup, only Melky and Frogger are kind of offensive, but mostly because people seem to overestimate their true talent levels. At least they’re not over 30 journeymen, so watching this team lose miserably is much more tolerable now.

Then I started strolling down memory lane, back to 2007 when I first started posting here and truly obsessing on the Royals. Oh, the memories. GMDM has put us through so many questionable MLB moves via trade and free agent signings, not to mention pointless waiver wire acquisitions, it’s hard to remember them all. I’m hoping the real push for respectability will begin this winter, and I hope he’s learned from his mistakes, meaning I’m hoping he doesn’t trade Butler for a 33 year old starting pitcher with a history of shoulder problems.

Just how bad could it have been? What would have been the most annoying team we could assemble using Moore’s acquisitions over the last 5 years? I leave out 2006 because I was largely oblivious to the details of Royal roster construction then. Let’s take a look at what might have been.

How would you like to watch this team for a season?

The Starting Position Players

Catcher- There is only one who could possibly be considered here. Without him, this could have been a lively competition. I doubt I’ll get any argument when I put Jason F. Kendall behind the plate, every damn day, forever and ever, amen.

1st Base- This is a dichotomy, if not a conundrum. They sucked so differently. Gload was a decent part time player, though, whereas Jacobs was just a bad MLB player, virtually useless. It has to be Mike Jacobs.

2nd Base- Thanks to Grudz, we were spared too much unproductive scrappiness at this position for a few years. Whatever you think of Aviles, he was not horrible until this season. German was not that bad in limited duty. No, this one still walks among us. No one was more overexposed in this capacity than Chris Getz, and it’s still happening, just not as often.

3rd Base- This has been a pretty good position for the Royals over the years, and there haven’t been that many really bad players who spent much time there. This is almost an honorary choice for me, a lifetime achievement award of sorts. Because he never should have been a starter on a MLB team on a regular basis and he was way overused, I choose Willie Bloomquist.

Shortstop- This a virtual coin toss. TPJ and Yu-Bet were epic fail at this position, but just because he’s now a relief pitcher and his defense was nowhere near as good as advertised doesn’t mean he annoyed me as much as Yuniesky Betancourt. Honestly, TPJ was even worse.

Left Field- This was never a particular strength, but there was always a little power out there at least. He really wasn’t the worst I’ve ever seen, but he became a symbol to me of misguided free agent acquisitions. His defense was way overrated, too; I’m talking Scott Podsednik.

Center Field- Oh, the Andersons, Freel and god knows what other random hobos squashed the grass in The K’s center field, but only one was truly horrible for a long time and actually cost something; Joey “Show Me The Honda” Gathright.

Right Field- He wasn’t there very often, but he was there too often, and he killed Grudz, making his trade value nil. It has to be Ross Gload.

Designated Hitter- Miguel Olivo. Hillman did this fairly often. May God have mercy on his soul.

Bench

C Jason LaRue, IF Jason Smith, OF Josh Anderson, SS TPJ

Starting Pitching

This is such fertile ground. I’m sure there are myriad combinations that would make your hair hurt, but I’ll offer this.

Sidney Ponson

Brett Tomko

Horacio Ramirez

Odalis Perez

Brian Bannister

The relief corps is such a motley crew, I don’t know where to start. I must include Josh Rupe and Jamey Wright, maybe Doug Waechter. I really could throw darts.

The Batting Order

Joey Gathright- CF

Jason Kendall- C

Scott Podsednik- LF

Miguel Olivo- DH

Ross Gload- RF

Yuniesky Betancourt- SS

Mike Jacobs- 1B

Willie Bloomquist- 3B

Chris Getz- 2B

So I appreciate what we have now; it may be no better, but at least it could be. I’m sure you all have ghastly memories of GMDM acquisitions, too. If anyone wants to join the fun and play Bad GMDM, please join in. Bring the stats and logic. This is just my own off the cuff prejudices.