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End of Year Superlatives: Chapter One



As the 43rd class of Kansas City Royals players prepare to end the season, it is only apt to sum up what these players meant to us.  There were highs and there were lows, but this sure has been an interesting bunch since the day they all showed up in Arizona just a few short months ago.  We will always remember the class of 2011 that graced the grassy confines of Kauffman Stadium, here is the first chapter of superlatives for this memorable group.

Star-divide

Most Likely To Start A Cult: Bruce Chen

          For a seemingly non descript player, Chen sure does have a following!  Does he owe this dedication to his artistry on the mound?  To Will Ferrel?  No one is sure, but chants of "C'mon Chen" were heard far and wide throughout 2011.  In the future, maybe he will use his charismatic and persuasive powers to take over the world, who knows?  All we know is that we'll be waiting anxiously to hear about what the future holds for Chen.

Most Likely To Go To The Moon: Ned Yost

         Peers and fans alike often saw Yost sitting in the dugout looking like he didn't have a care in the world.  Yost seemed non-chalant at times, whether it be lazy managerial decisions or refusing to voraciously argue in favor of his team.  The truth is, Yost did care, there is just something Yost cares about more.  He desperately wants to be an astronaut.  With NASA no longer going to the moon, it'll be a battle for Yost, but we sure hope he gets there.

Most Likely To Go To The Principle's Office: Vin Mazzaro

         On May 16th of this season, Mazzaro got himself into some trouble.  Unprepared for his assignment, Mazzaro was punished by the rival Cleveland Indians.  Not knowing how to react to this episode of great disappointment, Mazzaro was sent to a cousin school in Omaha.  Mazzaro has since behaved himself somewhat since relocating, and maybe he has bettered himself, but it wouldn't be surprising to see Mazzaro in hot water again.

Most Likley To Drop Off The Grid: Mitch Maier

         Maier had great expectations before the season, but seemed increasingly resigned to fading into the background as the season wore on.  One day Maier would show flashes of brilliance, only to disappear for weeks on end with no one hearing a word from him.  The truth is, he seemed to be perfectly fine with this.  It could be that Maier likes this identity and we never hear from him again.

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Most Likely to Be Steve Garvey’s Evil Twin: Jeff Francoeur
Mist Likely to Be High Right Now: Jeremy Jeffress
Most Likely to Be Dealing with an Anger Management Issue: Jason Kendall
Most Likely to Be MLB’s First Openly Gay Player: Eric Hosmer
Most Likely to Have Been a Major Asshole in High School: Alex Gordon
Most Likely to Be Dyslexic: Mike Moustakas
Most Likely to Practice Voodoo or Santería: Alcídes Escobar
Most Likely to Pay for Unusual Sex Practices: Melky Cabrera
Most Likely to Have Read a Book This Season: Joakim Soria
Most Likely to Talk like a “Dukes of Hazzard” Character: Louis Coleman
Most Likely to Someday Share a Cell with Lenny Dykstra: Brayan Peña
Most Likely to Be Connected to the Mob: Vin Mazzaro
Most Likely to Check into Rehab: Kyle Davies
Most Likely to Fail at Marine Boot Camp: Billy Butler

"All the boys think she's a guy
She's got crazy Frenchy eyes."

by Juancho on Sep 20, 2011 4:27 AM EDT reply actions  

How Does Brena

Become butt buddy to Dykstra?

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Sep 20, 2011 11:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

I just sort of figured he had that criminal look about him

"All the boys think she's a guy
She's got crazy Frenchy eyes."

by Juancho on Sep 20, 2011 1:05 PM EDT reply actions  

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