Royals Scrubs Throttle Twins Less Good Scrubs In Age-Old Grudge Match
by Old Man Duggan on Sep 26, 2011 11:21 PM EDT
in Royals Game Recaps
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As stories have been passed down through the generations from our great-great-grandparents, the sting of losing the Kansas City Blues can still be felt across this fine nation. When the Western League was an up-and-comer, attempting to throw dirt in the eyes of the National League, the bustling burg of Kansas City had itself a baseball team. Our ancestors loved that team. From 1894 to 1900, fans ranging from Joplin all the way to St. Joseph would wagon train on down to the ballpark to catch the hometown Blues, living, breathing, and dying with their club.
Then those no-good, East Coast charlatans in The District of Columbia stole the Blues away, where the Blues' name was sullied and changed into the grotesque name, the Senators. Sixty years later, the cities that are twinned stole that team right out from under Washington. The hatred of our forebearers runs deep within all of us, so it is with great pleasure that I tell you, the Royals hath defeated the lowly Twins of Minnesota on this eve, further plunging the knife into their slowing heart.
Behind six innings of nine strikeout and two walk ball, Felipe Paulino powered the Royals through the first two-thirds of the game, with Tim Collins, Kelvin Herrera, and Aaron Crow tallying an inning apiece. The offense lay dormant for the greater part of the first five innings before pouncing on poor Kevin Slowey, eventually unleashing a seven-run, fourteen hit attack highlighted by a Moustakas double to straightaway center and a dinger to left. Billy Butler notched his second stolen base of the year aided in large part by Jarrod Dyson as the lead runner in a double steal (his second of the night.
In all the Twins were, nay, are no match for these upstart Royals of Kansas City.
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The hawk needs to be traded to Pocatello Idaho
He might be the worst announcer in the MLB.
Hey man
What’s your issue with Pocatello, Idaho? Why would you wish that upon them?
I have an old roommate running for city council there
The bastard moved out in the middle of the night and left me with the rent bill. Hawk will be my sweet revenge. The rest of Pocatello will just be collateral damage.
This is a better answer to that question than I could have hoped for.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
That is a terrific story.
Are you waiting to drop it on the Pocatello media just before the election? That would be awesome. And much more humane than sending The Hawk Douche out there.
by Black and Gold on Sep 27, 2011 12:18 AM EDT up reply actions
“So, Mr. Bas, why are you giving us this hot lead?”
“That motherfucker saddled me with the rent.”
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
Of course
Being a sneaky fuck who sticks other people with the bill is pretty much the definition of “politician” these days, regardless of party affiliation, so this story could help get the bastard elected.
by Black and Gold on Sep 27, 2011 12:30 AM EDT up reply actions
Not just any move out
It was really sneaky. He had been storing shit in his broken down car and packing bags for days. The guy worked a night shift. He said he was going to work, but was actually catching a Greyhound out of town. I didn’t know until the next afternoon. I tried to wake him up, only to find the room near empty with the keys and an apology note on the desk. I guess his mother sent him money for a bus ticket back home.
I had a former forced-roommate like that
he still owes me something on the order of $83.
He was a dick.
But……whatevs. He’s probably a decent guy—-without the roommate vibe going on and such.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
Sure
We were both broke and desperate. I’m sure I’ve screwed a few people over the years (like Discover Card). But still, bitter memories last a long time. Even if the person grows over time, I’m still one of those people that would say it is not worth my time to give someone who screwed me another chance. But I also would not want to cause trouble with the rest of their life.
This.
I’m still one of those people that would say it is not worth my time to give someone who screwed me another chance.
Glad I came, just wish I hadn't stayed so long.
Rock Chalk Talk
No
I had no idea about it, then the wife showed me the website a few months back. Honestly, I would not wish anything bad on the person (certainly not Hawk — only the good people of Chicago deserve him — even though he would fit better on the North Side), I just never want to interact with the person again.
Once he settled (or stumbled) into a semi-regular lineup
things seemed to improve. But I’m still not sure I can ever completely forget the fact that he put Chris Freakin’ Getz in the leadoff spot so many times.
Overall, I’m not sold on Yost being the guy who can get this team into contention. But I can’t say that I have any better options in mind, either.
by Black and Gold on Sep 27, 2011 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions
managers, by virtue of being rated, are overrated.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
by Crooow on Sep 27, 2011 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
also awesome:
“From 1894 to 1900, fans ranging from Joplin all the way to St. Joseph would wagon train on down to the ballpark to catch the hometown Blues, living, breathing, and dying with their club.”
I used to dislike your flowery language, OMD. Consider me a convert.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
When I do that, I'm really just trying to evoke memories of pre-Great War baseball writing.
This is not how I typically write other things. I just think it’s funny in recaps.
Sporadically musing on the Royals at both Royals Review and Royalscentricity, pop culture at Inconsiderate Prick, SVU at Munch My Benson and on Twitter at Old Man Duggan
by Old Man Duggan on Sep 26, 2011 11:57 PM EDT up reply actions
mos def. Apropos of nothing…have you been to the WWI museum in KC? I know you’re an Austentite (Austiner?) but it really is something special.
Also……your pic is perfect for your music/film-snob ’tude. Opposite of offense meant here.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
I haven't
Really want to. My dad’s from KC. Went to Paseo. My sister is at KU getting her doctorate in Poli Sci, and I’m looking at heading up in December. Might try to squeeze it in then if I have time and can convince my friends to go.
That pic is weird. I needed a head shot for this shitty site I used to write for and I just cropped a pic of me from a wedding I’d attended. This is basically the look I have on my face whenever someone is taking my picture. Not a fan of pictures.
Sporadically musing on the Royals at both Royals Review and Royalscentricity, pop culture at Inconsiderate Prick, SVU at Munch My Benson and on Twitter at Old Man Duggan
by Old Man Duggan on Sep 27, 2011 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions
So, to riff off of a caller on the post-game with the whitest-sounding black man, I must admit I've been thinking about this for a while:
Is there a chance we’ll be able to move Gordon from the lead-off spot to the middle of the order by virtue of acquiring a good OBP/speed guy? There’s really not a viable option on the bench or in the minors, and maybe it would be stupid to deal for an offensive player of that caliber in the offseason….but stilll……Gordon could kick some ass as a #5.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
i say if it's not broken, don't fix it
gordon at leadoff has been spectacular…in fact the lineup as a whole has been really good…i would keep it exactly as is until we need to do otherwise
Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts."
--Albert Einstein
by Home Run Tony Cogan on Sep 27, 2011 12:02 AM EDT up reply actions
Gordon kicks some ass as s leadoff hitter too
If we did have as good or better OBP guy to leadoff, Gordon should go to #2, IMO. If he continues to produce near the level of this season, he’s too valuable to not have at the top of the order.
Doubt we could find a high OBP guy with speed. They’re virtually unheard of. Lineup is fine as is.
by Rufus R. Jones on Sep 27, 2011 12:05 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Who are we going to replace?
2B is the only reasonable option with Dayton going after Reyes.
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by Jeff Zimmerman on Sep 27, 2011 12:07 AM EDT up reply actions
If Dayton can pick up a solid 2B, great.
If not, I don’t mind giving Gio a chance. Crooooow might be right (and probably is), but there’s still a chance he could be decent.
by Black and Gold on Sep 27, 2011 12:21 AM EDT up reply actions
What about when Melky's traded and Cain is up?
I hope this happens sooner than later. I don’t know where you put Cain either initially or long term. Initially he’s probably lower in the order, but who moves to 2 hole (or 1 if they move Gordon down to 2)? Long term is he an option to lead off?He’s a good defensive CF, so he’s got to be a leadoff candidate, right? ;-)
He Would Kick
Ass batting 2nd. Reasonably fast, lots of power, lots of K’s, few GIDPs. He could drive the speedy leadoff guy home from first frequently, and leave the 3rd batter with no GIDP problem.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Sep 27, 2011 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions
interesting. hmm.
we’re a bunch of smart motherfuckers here on this site.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
It'd Cybergenetic
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Sep 27, 2011 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions
Mad Typing Skillz
Two.
I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.
by philofthenorth on Sep 27, 2011 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions
One note to remember.
For every spot a player moves down, they lose 20 PA over a season. Gordon would have about 80 less PA batting 5th. Besides the total PA, the importance of the PA needs to be considered.
At the end of the game, do you want someone like Dyson up who has to get on base and work his way around to tie or win a game? Instead, Gordon is the batter. He has the potential to hit a HR and end the game now. This is why the #2 batter should also be decent.
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by Jeff Zimmerman on Sep 27, 2011 12:11 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
very interesting….my dumbass never thought of that.
I’m saying that, outside of finding a pitcher or two, it might behoove the Kansas Citys to invest in a leadoff guy with perhaps .360 OBP potential and well-above-avg speed. Not sure that’s viable though.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
Considering there's like 15 guys who OBP'd .360 or better this year...
yeah, it’s probably not viable. If you want to replace Frenchy with a guy who gets on base more often, then how about a trade of Soria/Frenchy to the Yankees for Swisher?
Nick Swisher is handsome.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Gordon has looked pretty good in the leadoff spot. He has OBP skills, some speed, and some power. He strikes out a little too much, but oh well. You want you’re most productive hitter up, the most during a season. Right?
by royal_in_cincinnati on Sep 27, 2011 9:19 AM EDT up reply actions
Each day that passes without signing 2012 contracts for Gordon and Melky makes me more and more certain that 2 of Cain/Dyson/Mitch will platoon center next year with one of Gordon/Melky being shipped to Tampa, Atlanta or SF.
by Loose Seal on Sep 27, 2011 1:11 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
not sure why you’re including Melky in this…..you seriously think he can repeat his 2011 season, or something close to it?
I’ll take the under.
"Gently thinking backwards on the psychedelic promises God made to me in the dark."
- David Berman
Not sure Cabrera can repeat, but I'll take him over Maier or Dyson in the lineup
I like watching Dyson chase down flyballs in CF, but he just doesn’t do much for me at bat. Now if we are talking about giving Cain a chance everyday in CF, that’s a different story. But I still think that Cabrera will be better than any of those 3 options at the plate. Defense is another story.
by royal_in_cincinnati on Sep 27, 2011 9:18 AM EDT up reply actions
Just saying that I think GMDM sells high on one of them
I don’t think either will repeat their 2011 season, and if GMDM can get a good deal for a SP, I think he will.
Twins are getting desperate
Pitching 2 of the 7 dwarves and a Harry Potter character tonight.
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
The pathetic Twins are 10 games behind us now.
Who’da thunk it?
by Black and Gold on Sep 27, 2011 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions
No. Go Royals
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room!
by KeepItCopacetic on Sep 27, 2011 1:36 AM EDT up reply actions
not until the Twins lose #100
afterall, the Twins are the way to do things, right?
Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bhindepmo
Chairman, The Melky Cabrera Seasoning Sauce. It's great on your outfield!
Well, they're from Minnesota, and you know who else was from Minnesota?
Walter Mondale. A real winner.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the war room!
by KeepItCopacetic on Sep 27, 2011 3:21 AM EDT up reply actions
Reader comment from KLaws Award piece:
Hosmer is better than Ackley in every phase of the game. He has saved a ton of runs with his defense, has won several games with clutch hits, and has only 5 more srikeouts in 200 more at bats. He is also hitting cleanup for a team on the rise while Seattle is wasting away despite having a much better rotation.
Holy cow. KC fans bashing other teams. Maybe a little humble pie is in order for a near 90 loss team.
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by Jeff Zimmerman on Sep 27, 2011 10:10 AM EDT reply actions
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