Literal Spring Training Battles: Getz versus Giavotella

by Freneau on Feb 18, 2012 12:10 AM EST in Kansas City Royals News

Who would win a fight between Chris Getz and Johnny Giavotella?

The scenario: Getz says that "Thanatopsis" was William Cullen Bryant's best poem, Giavotella insists that his best work was actually "Inscription for the Entrance to a Wood." Things deteriorate. So who wins the fight before Francoeur jumps in and reminds everyone "we're all on the same team here!"

Chris Getz: listed size: 5'11, 185. Strengths: seniority, once knew Ozzie Guillen. Weaknesses: has dyed hair in past, shouldering considerable ennui.
Johnny Giavotella: listed size: 5'8, 185. Strengths: abnormally large forearms, from Louisiana. Weaknesses: has terrible nickname.

Poll

Who would win a fight between Getz and Giavotella?

Getz

68 votes

Giavotella

545 votes

613 votes | Poll has closed

Tweet Comment 35 comments | 2 recs |

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Comments

In considering this scenario I feel it's important to remind everyone of Ned's quote about Johnny:

He is a scrap iron, he’s a little, freakin’ gamer, dirt bag-type player," Yost said. "He doesn’t fear anything. He’s one of them guys, man, if you ever get in a fight, you bring your lunch, because it’s going to be there for a while. He ain’t givin’ up.

Johnny G by TKO in Round 1.

by Sweep_the_Leg on Feb 18, 2012 12:23 AM EST reply actions 4 recs

20 seconds in the 1st Round

"Stay Classy Kansas City"

by Mas Cervezas on Feb 18, 2012 8:53 AM EST via mobile up reply actions

Second part of that Ned quote...

He doesn’t have a name so death can’t find him, He doesn’t have a home or people to care for. He’s not afraid of anything, men least of all. He’s fast and strong like a big wind. He can hear for a hundred miles and see a hundred miles underwater. He can hide in the shadow of a noon sun. He could be right behind you and you wouldn’t know it ‘til you’re dead!

What? That was actually from Waterworld? What? I already made this joke once before? Piss off, these two quotes were made to live side by side.

There are literally DOZENS of us!

by Tracer Bullet 82 on Feb 18, 2012 9:42 AM EST up reply actions 5 recs

Gio is Little Mac

Getz is Glass Joe

Relive Royals History at royalsretro.blogspot.com

by RoyalsRetro on Feb 18, 2012 10:19 AM EST via mobile up reply actions

Getz is a well known sweater vester

Not Getz is most comfortable in a leather jacket, the sleeves of which have been dis-attached. On clothing choices alone, Not Getz is the heavy favorite.

by Nighthawk at the Diner on Feb 18, 2012 12:34 AM EST reply actions 2 recs

Giavotella makes Getz tap

by NotAHippie on Feb 18, 2012 12:42 AM EST reply actions

Dirtbag >

by OnixConcepcion on Feb 18, 2012 1:19 AM EST reply actions

He'd Kick Beckham's

Ass, too.

I used to be an A's fan until they left town and got good.

by philofthenorth on Feb 18, 2012 2:59 PM EST up reply actions

I think Johnny gets the job done

as long as he remembers to sweep the leg.

If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down
-Gin Blossoms

by royaldaddy on Feb 18, 2012 1:36 AM EST reply actions

Damn right

OUT of commission.

by Sweep_the_Leg on Feb 18, 2012 1:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

I will fight anyone who votes getz

by royalyblued on Feb 18, 2012 2:57 AM EST reply actions

I voted Getz

Just how big a boy are ya?

PineTarPress

by 306008 on Feb 18, 2012 9:16 AM EST up reply actions

That would be a mistake

And I voted Getz, because he’s mistake-free.

Chaim Mattis Keller New York City's # 1 Royals fan!

by cmkeller on Feb 20, 2012 12:53 AM EST up reply actions

Sorry guys....

This fight doesn’t even get done. They agree on split of money, catch weight, even where this fight happens, Then Gets realizes this fight is really about to happen then demands better than olympic style drug testing. Giavotella says “Insert excuse here” and backs out. both guys spend the next 2 or 3 years yapping about how the other “ducked” them.

"Chiefs will...crush our enemies, see them drivin before us and hear the lamentation of the women."

by Brian Harris on Feb 18, 2012 3:52 AM EST reply actions

Johnny

Is Italian and is extremely muscular for his size (listed 5’8" but he’s probably shorter, yet the same weight as Getz).

Also, Getz can barely hit a ball out of the infield. Johnny can hit home runs. When literal swinging of the fists takes place, who on earth would vote Getz?

by Yodazilla on Feb 18, 2012 6:40 AM EST reply actions

Getz

will use his superior speed to run away from Johnny. After 18 miles, Johnny finally gets tired and Getz takes him down due to his exhaustion. Getz wins.

by higs on Feb 18, 2012 8:35 AM EST reply actions 1 recs

Getz fights mistake free.

Just like Walker Texas Ranger.

There are literally DOZENS of us!

by Tracer Bullet 82 on Feb 18, 2012 9:45 AM EST reply actions

There is NO baseball site...

that uses the phrase ‘shouldering considerable ennui’ anywhere, much less to describe the weakness of a player fighting for a roster spot. Thank you, Will and RR, in general.

If women only slept with nice guys...guys would only be nice. And they don't. And we're not.

by setupunchtag on Feb 18, 2012 10:32 AM EST reply actions 3 recs