I have been following the recent "Gut Response" posts with the anticipation of McLovin following thong-girl down a hallway. Forever waiting for that moment where everything is revealed but ultimately only receiving a glimpse of what might be. So, it is with this level of vigor that I attempt to address the elephant in the room. The fart in the wind. The Indian in the cupboard. The question you all want answered: Are the Royals better than the 1927 Yankees?
Lets start our quest for knowledge with the starting pitchers.
ACE!: Hochevar vs. Waite Hoyt. On the surface you might think that the advantage goes to HoFer Hoyt. Not so fast Mr. East Coast Bias Believer Guy! In 1927 Hoyt had a BB/9 of 1.9 and a SO/9 of 3.0/ Hoch has career numbers of BB/9 3.0 and SO/9 5.9. Hoch puts up higher numbers in both categories! And that's not all, Hoch was the #1 overall pick i the draft! Waite Hoyt was never drafted at all! Not even by the military. Advantage Royals.
Other Guys: Pennock, Shocker, Ruether and Pipgras vs. Sanchez, Chen, Paulino, Duffy and Mendoza. I am assuming the Royals will return to the six man rotation of awesomeness. The Yankees hurlers tossed an astonishing 52 complete games in 1927. What a waste of the bullpen! These glory hogs put self gratification above team success. Polk failure. I think it's safe to assume the Royals will share the wealth to the tune of something like 5.0 IP/GS. Plus 6 man rotation is better than 5. Advantage Royals.
Closer: The Yanksters had some guy named Wilcy Moore. Yawn. Never heard of him. 13 saves. Pathetic. He's not even Mexican. Joakim Soria is awesome. And Mexican. Advantage Royals.
Other dudes: Wanna talk about a bunch of no names? I sure don't! I can't even be bothered to switch tabs to remind myself who the Yankadoodles had in the pen of never usedness. I think they might have had some guy named "Shawkley" or something like that. It's kind of an awesome name if you're into that sort of thing. The Royals of course have the greatest bullpen in the history of whatever. They have the "Dutchman", the "Midget", the "Fat Guy", the "Handsome Bird" and the "Other Guy". Enough said. Advantage Royals.
Lets talk Lineup, shall we?
Catcher: Pat Collins vs. "La Mantanza". Collins was a good player, I guess. Career triple slash of .254/.378/.385. However, he only could only be bothered to appear in 92 games in 1927. Slacker. Not a team player. Compare this to the Salvanator's triple slash of .331/.361/.473 and I think you're starting to get the picture. Slavy is a team first guy and I think it's safe to assume he'll wheel himself out to the plate at least 170 (including playoffs) this year. I can also find ZERO reference to Collins being good at throwing down fingers. This is a Polkportant trait that El Guapo has in spades. Advantage Royals.
First Base: Lou Gehrig vs. Eric Hosmer. This is a tough one. Gehrig is a HoFer with lots of great stats and stuff. Not one but THREE nicknames: "The Iron Horse", "Biscuit Pants" (awesome) and "Buster". Hosmer has only one true nickname: "Son of God". Hosmer doesn't have the stats to match Ol' Biscuit Pants, but I think we all know he will. Ok, lets just say it. If God loved Lour Gehrig, he wouldn't have caught that disease and died. There, I said it. God loves Hosmer. Advantage Royals..
Second Base: Tony Lazzeri vs. Johnny Giavoltella in an Italian Cage Match of Death! Gia's pizza making family gives him a ton of cred, but Lazzeri's parents were probably immigrants. Lazzeri was taller and has two Zs in his name. Gia is stockier has more syllables. I just can't pick. Advantage Push.
Short Stop: Mark Koenig vs Alcides Escobar. Full disclosure here, I once knew a kid named Mark Koenig and he was kinda a douche. I'm not saying I'm biased, but I just thought you should know. The Yankee Koenig had a career OPS+ of 80. Not a good hitter. Career FLD% of .928. Not a good fielder. And he was probably a douche. Escobar has a family of cocaine cartel members (I assume) and I probably shouldn't say anything bad about him. Advantage Royals.
Third Base: Joe Dugan vs Mike Moustakas. Finally an easy one. Nickname: "Jumping Joe" vs "Moose Tacos". 5'11" 160 lbs vs 5'11" 230lbs. 42 career HRs vs likely 70 HRs THIS YEAR! Future completely forgotten bad baseball player vs future legend. Advantage Royals.
Left Field: Bob Meusel vs Alex Gordon. Meusel, a third baseman turned left fielder was really really really good at playing baseball. He was a three time MVP with a career OPS+ of like some really high number. His nickname was "Long Bob" which made him a favorite with the ladies. Alex Gordon, a third baseman turned left fielder is really really good at playing baseball. (Only two reallys) He got some MVP votes this one time. And his nickname, "Gordo" is super lame. He's also an illiterate which is preventing him from signing his name to a contract extension. Advantage Yankees.
Center Fielder: Earle Combs vs Lorenzo Cain. Ok, not everything in baseball is about stats. Sometimes it has to be about the kind of person a player is. Earle Combs was a white guy with the nickname "The Kentucky Colonel". We can't pull punches in our evaluations. I hate to label him but, Combs was a racist. He's the epitomy of the reason that men of color like Cain weren't given a chance in the majors in 1927. Bad bad man. I choose LorenzoCaine for the soul. Advantage Royals.
Right Field: If you're still reading at this point, I'm guessing this is what you have been waiting for. The Babe vs The Frenchman. Babe Ruth had a whole bunch of WAR in his career. He was a bit of a WAR monger. But, he made up for this with a love of women, children and hot dogs. Frenchy chooses to give peace a chance. He only goes to WAR like a couple times a season. Women, children and hot dogs love him. Frenchy like to take naked BP. I think I heard that The "Bambino" once got arrested for running naked through the streets. Frenchy has crazy eyes. The "Sultan of Swat" handed out invitations to the pants party. So who is the winner? Frenchy by a nut-tap! Advantage Royals.
Bench: Umm yeah. Getz, Dyson, MITCH!, Yuni Darvish and Pena vs a bunch of guys not even worth mentioning. (Irony?) I think we all know how this turns out. Advantage Royals in a Polkslide.
So there you have it. The Royals are better in nearly every way than the world series champion 1927 New York Yankees. But this isn't just about my fact-based opinion. It's about collecting useless data. So, lets make a poll.